A toxic relationship can simply mean one that is harmful to one or both people in it but what’s “harmful” is subjective and can change from moment to moment. There’s of course the toxicity of physical abuse which should never be tolerated but there’s also …
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Great first date ideas can be hard to come by. Especially ones that will have him wanting more! So what is a first date? It’s not a meet for coffee. That’s essentially a screening session. Because dating is a numbers game. Essentially then, you want to put yourself out there with lots of matches (from…
The post First Date Ideas That Will Have Him Wanting More & Texting Right Away appeared first on Love in 90 Days.
What is the difference between guardianship and custody? Both become necessary when the child’s parents die, leaving behind an inheritance to a minor, who cannot inherit assets or money outright. Learn more about guardianship and custody in the following.
Also simply referred to as conservatorship, guardianship is a legal process that is used when someone cannot communicate or make sound decisions about his/her property or person.
In this case, this individual subject for guardianship may no longer be able to recognize or become susceptible to undue influence or fraud.
But as guardianship will remove some rights from him/her, it’s only considered when other alternatives are unavailable or deemed ineffective.
Once successful, the guardian, on the other hand, is the one that will exercise his/her legal rights.
A guardian can be an institution, such as a bank trust department, or an individual assigned to care for the ward¸ the incapacitated person, and/or his/her wealth.
On the other hand, child custody refers to the control and support of a child. It is court-determined once the parents separated or divorced.
So if you’re separating but have a child, both visitation rights and custody can be major concerns.
During child custody, the child or the children will live with the custody parent most of the time.
And then, the parent without custody will have visitation rights to visit the child/children at specific times as well as the right to know about the children, also called access.
Child custody is made of legal custody referring to the decision-making rights about the child, along with physical custody referring to the duty and right to take care, provide and house the child.
Know that the guardian fulfills the duties and roles of a substitute parent, who should maintain the legal and physical custody as well as make medical and financial decisions on behalf of the child.
In many jurisdictions, a guardian is chosen by the parents and is court-approved when both parents die or no longer capable of caring for the child.
If a will is not in place or no guardian has been appointed before both parents die, the jurisdiction court will appoint a guardian for the child.
If a parent, who named someone as a guardian other than the surviving parent dies, the court can override it and make another appointment if it’s being done for the child’s best interest.
On the other hand, a custodian is also appointed by a will.
He/she oversees, protects and manages the inheritance received by a minor until the child reaches legal age. The custodian can also serve as a guardian.
For help, you might want to seek help from a guardianship attorney who specializes in guardianship and child custody cases.
This model law is adopted by almost all states along with DC. It controls assets transfer to minors.
Under the UTMA, a parent can select a custodian to manage specific accounts or property inherited by a child.
The UTMA also allows a minor to receive patents, money, real estate, royalties, fine art and other gifts without the help of a trustee or guardian. Under it, the appointed custodian or gift giver manages the account of the minor until he/she reaches legal age.
Before the Act, custodians needed to get court approval for any action about the inheritance or account held for the minor.
But now, custodians can make financial decisions without obtaining court approval provided they are in the best interest of the child.
Guardianship and custody are two important things that need careful and thorough planning and execution. Thus, it is essential that you consult a guardianship lawyer who can help you navigate these two complicated legal processes.
The post Know the Difference Between Guardianship and Custody appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.
Are You Being Gaslighted in Your Relationship? appeared first on Relationships Reality and was authored by Sarah Adelle and Sophia Elise
Are you being gaslighted in your relationship? The term gaslighting comes from the 1944 movie titled Gaslight where a husband slowly manipulates his wife into believing she is going insane. This just doesn’t happen in the movies. Unfortunately this happens in relationships all the time.
Have you found yourself questioning your own sanity in your relationship? Has your partner lied straight to your face and told you they never did or said something, when you know for a fact they did? When you call them out on it have they told you there is something wrong with your memory. Has it gotten to the point where you actually have questioned your own memories? Have you found yourself apologizing all the time even though you are not the one doing anything wrong? Does your partner overreact all the time and always make everything your fault?
If you answered yes to more than one of these questions, there is a good chance your are being gaslighted.
Are You Being Gaslighted in Your Relationship?
So how can you stop gaslighting in a relationship? The first thing you have to do is be open about it to the supportive people in your life. Keep in mind though, the person who has gaslighted you, has more than likely done everything they can to keep you isolated. They don’t want you to have a support system in place. It is much harder to gaslight someone when they have supportive people around them. Next, call them on their bullshit.
Stop questioning yourself. You are not suffering from memory loss, you know exactly what they said. Let them know you are no longer falling for their act. Let them know you are on to them. Trust your gut. They have tried to take that away from you, where you no longer trust yourself. You know deep down when something is wrong, and you also know when you are right about things. Bring back the trust in yourself and your instincts that they took away.Stop making compromises or giving things (and people) up just to keep the peace. If there is truly nothing about these people, activities or things that is detrimental to a relationship, why should you have to? You shouldn’t. Also, why should you be the one making the compromises all the time? They don’t need to always get their way.
When you start regaining some of the control you have lost, they will try to take that control back. You are an adult. You can make decisions for yourself. They do not need to be the only one making the decisions for the both of you. You know right from wrong and have earned the right to be trusted. You need to trust yourself and they need to trust you. If they can’t, it is their problem to solve, not yours.
If your partner is too resistant to you no longer allowing them to manipulate you, it is time to consider ending the relationship. There is no good reason to stay in an unhealthy relationship that will only get worse over time.
You may also want to check out our article, Red Flags of Unhealthy, Dysfunctional Relationships.
The post Are You Being Gaslighted in Your Relationship? appeared first on Relationships Reality.
Can a relationship benefit from taking a break? It all comes down to outlining clear intentions, communication, and goals.
The post Do Trial Separations Work? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.
How do you deal with disappointment that comes in all shapes and sizes for all of us? We think something should happen or shouldn’t have happened and we hold onto that expectation, ruining relationships and making us physically sick. Here’s what Marie told us… She …
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There are several effective ways to catch up a cheater. If you wish to prove whether or not or not your partner is cheating, there are many ways to catch your cheating spouse.
The question that continues to be that one in all these ways is the foremost effective and fewer difficult to catch the cheater.
Here are 6 tricks on how to catch a cheater fast little data which will assist you to decide that of those ways is also batter selection.
This methodology is, therefore, best and quick methodology to catch a cheating spouse as a result of the suspecting party does not ought to do something however look ahead to the end result.
First, you’ve got to pay a decent deal of cash to rent a personal investigator. Overall, there’s plenty of your time and cash that this methodology needs.
This methodology is all regarding looking for what your partner is admittedly up to on the pc. to try and do this you may want some style of pc spy package put in on your pc.
The package is put in while not them knowing however certify that they anti-virus or spy-ware programs do not catch the package otherwise you are going to be busted.
In lately everybody is aware of social media and everybody is aware of however they doing a piece. On social media many ways or apps and you employ those apps to catch the beguiler.
The most renowned apps on social media like Facebook , Whatsapp, Tiktok and plenty of others. First, you follow the account of your partner and seeing his activities on social media.
Snooping on your spouse’s phone without them finding out is one of the best ways of finding out if they are cheating on you or not.
There used to be a time when getting access to your partner’s phone might have been very difficult but nowadays you can rely on may phone spy apps that can grant you unlimited access to your spouse’s texts, call logs and e-mails.
Cheaters rely heavily on their partner’s routine as that allows them to indulge in their vices while not having to worry about getting caught in the act.
This is your opportunity, break the routine and suddenly drop by their workplace. But make sure that you have good enough reason to do so unannounced, or else they would get suspicious.
Keep your eyes open for verbal and non-verbal cues, this way you would be able to observe your partner’s changing behavior. If they seem worried, fidgety, and unwelcoming then you can definitely move on to confronting them.
Using a spycam or a baby monitor is a very effective and cheap way of tracking your spouse’s movement across the house especially in your absence.
Setup the spycam or the baby monitor when your partner is not around and make sure that you blend it well with the environment and not make it too conspicuous.
Paint the camera if need be, check for sound and video quality before and after installing the device, try to opt for a wireless camera that way you won’t have to go back to fetch the camera and you can simply listen and watch what your spouse is doing through any portable device.
Wedding life is usually packed with confusions and misunderstandings. Specially your partner to travel home bake at late night and his friends circle are big enough before the primary and he shows the angle behind the daily routine.
Does one see amendment in your partner recently they begin to alter their look with batter garments and mistreatment attractive intensive even fragrance.
There is no reason to alter, these items looks spontaneous. A cheater won’t be able to hide all the signs of their guilt, therefore you’ll do this methodology.
Few things are worse than having a hunch that your partner is cheating and your considerations can be justified; regarding one in five men and ladies deceive their partners, consistent with a 2005 poll.
If you acknowledge any of the classic signs you’ve got a cheating partner, it might be time to require action.
The post 6 Effective Ways to Catch up a Cheater appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.
Don’t get me wrong, a baby is, of course, a beautiful addition to any family, but there is a lot of adjusting to go through when you become a parent. And, raising a kid becomes highly challenging if parents are separated or divorced. But, there are helpful tips for better co-parenting after divorce.
Marriage is such a special bond between two people, and there is no denying that the welcoming of kids into your lives is an added blessing. But life will change.
Pre-kids, you are often navigating the waters of managing your careers, plus your time together and reaching your goals in the best way possible.
Post kids, one person becomes a stay-at-home parent and has their world turned inside out, while the other continues what they were doing beforehand while also juggling a new addition.
Everything in your life changes. So how exactly do you manage this? Let’s understand the following tips for successful co-parenting and define our roles as parents accordingly.
Strategies for successful co-parenting
The best way you can combat co-parenting is to have the conversation before you even decide you’re ready for kids, or at least when you are expecting.
Sure, it’s hard to know exactly how your lives are about to change with the arrival of your baby, but you can still sit down and have some discussions around expectations.
Here are some important questions to ask –
Nothing needs to be set in stone, but by opening the discussion around these key areas, you are actively agreeing on how you plan to parent.
Once your little one arrives, you will be able to build on this foundation to ease the transition as much as possible.
When it comes to parenting, there can be a lot of tit-for-tatts, ie ‘ I did the feed last night, so it’s your turn tonight’.
Try and turn these conversations into how you can help the other person, as developing a strong love language around parenting will strengthen your relationship together.
For example –
Try asking your partner these questions –
Sure, you may not feel like it at the time, but by putting your partner’s wellbeing first, they will then likely reciprocate, developing a strong foundation for you both.
Instead of arguments, you will find yourselves a lot calmer and a lot more accepting of what each other is going through.
It’s amazing how many people will tell you that you should be parenting equally. The truth is, you have to do what works for you, not what others say should work.
You need to find out what works for your family, and if you are the parent home with the child the majority of the time, don’t always expect your partner to pick up where you left off.
Remember, you have had more time to get used to this little addition in your lives, and also remember, that newborns change so much in such a short space of time. Yes, your partner is also a parent, but they need to be eased into things – they don’t have the experience you have behind you.
Most importantly, be kind to each other.
Lack of sleep can bring out the worst in people, so try not take it out on your partner. If you are ever feeling resentment, anger or frustration, take a deep breath and think of the best way to voice what you are feeling to get the best response.
Parenting is a constantly changing game.
Your relationship will go through many changes with it. Stay strong and united and you will find the journey that much easier.
The post 4 Tips on How to Co-Parent Successfully appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.
Parenting requires a lot of hard work, especially when it comes to balancing raising kids with maintaining a social life, keeping up with your work, and — most importantly — not neglecting your physical and mental health.
This is a tough balancing act as we will often prioritize our parental duties over ensuring that we can make up for the pressures of being a parent.
This is even more pronounced for stay-at-home parents who work as remote freelancers or focus on family & home full-time. It’s easy to become consumed by the routine, both the good and the bad, of parenthood.
Do the daily chores, ensure that kids follow their schedules, and take on whatever emergencies may arise.
All of this can lead you to neglect yourself. By the end of each day, you feel too drained (both emotionally and physically) to reward yourself. But it is vital to make ‘me-time’ to recharge your parenting batteries.
There are many ways to de-stress and most of these don’t need to be a time-consuming activity. Our bodies are hard-wired to take respite where they can find it so that we can bounce back without exerting much effort.
A quick snooze is the tried-and-tested method of de-stressing that can make all the difference. Dedicating a bit of time to rest your eyes in a quiet environment could change your entire mentality.
Get a pair of silicone earplugs, an eye mask, and hideaway. You’ll wake up rejuvenated and once-again ready for your parenting duties.
A life hack that could also work for you is drinking coffee right before your nap. That way you can get the rest from a micro nap (between 15–30 minutes) without worrying about oversleeping.
If the kids can do it, so can you! Older generations view video games as a pastime activity that is not intended for them. This could not be more wrong.
As people grow older, most of their hobbies tend to have an air of passivity to them (watching movies, TV shows, sports, etc). Video games involve direct contributions from both your reflexes and your intellect.
This is a welcome distraction from your daily routine, and depending on your choice of game it can relieve stress as well as keep your brain sharp.
So when the kids are asleep, pick up your game console controller and put on a fun game. It might turn out that you’re better at it than you think!
As legislation surrounding cannabis is becoming more lenient, CBD products are gaining popularity. These cannabis products are ideal for people who want to try cannabis for their many benefits without getting an actual high. They help relieve anxiety, improve sleep, and manage pain.
CBD products come in many forms, including edibles, lotions, and even bath bombs. With subtle effects that don’t take long to kick in, they are ideal for parents to unwind after a long day. It’s as simple as eating a delicious gummy or dropping a bath bomb into your bathtub.
Many cannabidiol products are available online and in dispensaries. and they could add an extra layer of relaxation to your destressing routine.
Exercise may sound like a counter-intuitive cliché for busy parents. Even the thought of physical exercise might be off-putting to those who want to relax.
Exercise is scientifically proven to release endorphins, our happy hormones. Combined with the growing satisfaction of the sight of yourself in the mirror, this acts as a terrific de-stressor.
While it does take some getting used to, exercise is actually an amazing way to de-stress. Once you get into the habit of finishing up a long day with a dedicated exercise routine, it becomes more addictive—and healthier—than any drug.
Gardening is another cliché, but not without good reason. We enjoy gardening because it is the easiest way we can see the fruits of our labor. Being outside, even if it’s in your backyard, also helps reduce anxiety and stress.
Find a little patch of land for yourself and pick something edible to plant. Opt for an easy beginner crop, something that requires low maintenance and does not easily perish. Tomatoes, apples, and strawberries are great choices.
When you eventually collect the results of your efforts, you can use them in another popular de-stressing method: cooking!
These are only a few examples of how you can wind down after a long day of taking care of your home. The most important thing is to find the methods that best suit your personality and help you achieve your personal goals.
Never neglect yourself because it will hurt your social, family, and professional life.
The post How to De-Stress After a Long Day of Stay-at-Home Parenting appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.
Being a parent can be so stressful, not only because of the visceral and very deep care that you have for your children but also because you constantly worry about their future.
How will they turn out? Am I doing everything right? What if something goes wrong? Will it all be my fault?
Moreover, for many couples parenthood also becomes challenging as it starts affecting their marital relationship. Marital problems arise mainly when spouses disagree about parenting issues.
Such marriage stress caused by parenting a child can consume a marriage. This article will help you understand ‘is parenting burnout destroying your marriage’ and ‘how to save your marriage from parenthood.’
As you probably know, you’re not the only married couple with these concerns, but you should also be aware that there are ways you can feel less stressed.
One of the biggest reasons for stress is your child’s education. Every parent wants their child to thrive and be successful, and education plays a big role in determining your child’s future prospects in life.
So, if you’re looking for the right school or trying to find the financial means to pay for your child’s tuition fees, here are some ways that can help you cope and be less anxious:
No matter how much you’re trying to keep your cool in front of your child, it’s inevitable for your child to feel stressed in return, especially if you’re constantly pushing your child to get better greats and achieve more.
It’s fairly reasonable why you’re doing — after all, some of the most prestigious schools have very high requirements for their future students, but if your child is really struggling to get that top math grade, your pushing will just make them feel more anxious and less receptive to the actual knowledge.
Children should be focused on learning and passing their exams, instead of fulfilling their parents’ dreams.
So, if you’re really looking to send your child to a better learning institution, you should talk to your child beforehand and make them understand that their part of the job is to study and focus on getting good grades. No child will respond well to threats, blackmails and pressure.
This may be the most difficult step, but if you really want to feel less stressed, you need to sit down and have a sincere conversation with yourself and your spouse.
Why do you want to send your child to the best school out there? Is it really about their future or are you trying to fulfill your own dreams and ambition?
The truth is, there’s nothing sadder than a parent that tries to push their child into a certain direction solely because they’re hoping a child would fulfill their own dreams that somehow didn’t come true.
Now, it’s perfectly logical that you want your child to have opportunities that you didn’t have, but it’s also important to let your child make their own mistakes and learn from them.
Motivating your child to do better is fine, but forcing them to do things they’re not interested in, isn’t going to make them smarter or more successful.
It certainly won’t do any good for your relationships because there’s where the problems start, especially if your spouse thinks you’re pushing it hard.
In case you’re struggling to calm down, you can try meditation for clearing your mind so you’ll be able to find the right answer and help your child and yourself.
Sending your kid to an exclusive private school costs a lot, and if you’re not earning huge amounts, trying to find financial means can be a source of a lot of stress.
That’s why it’s important to plan ahead and set some money aside that will be used as an initial payment, so your child can be ready to enroll immediately, in case they get accepted.
In case you’re in big financial destitution, you should know that there are places that offer excellent scholarships but your child also needs to meet certain criteria in order to qualify.
Therefore, if you’re planning to focus on getting some help from aside, you should motivate your child to do better at school in order to increase the chances of getting awarded with a scholarship.
Your kid can only do so much in order to get good grades, and even if they do their best and study all day, every day, there will always be a child that’s more dedicated, smarter and more well-adjusted.
It’s a fact of life, and unless you have a little Elon Musk in the making, you need to accept that there are other kids that are also smart and deserving of a good education. But that’s not the reason to get stressed and depressed, because there are ways to make your child stand out.
The key is to focus on after-school activities such as playing sports and nurturing their talents that aren’t directly related to school and studying.
You can always check their success using reliable school management software, but the point is that every child has a talent, the key is to find it and teach your child to be confident and proud of their achievements.
You’ll also be less stressed knowing that your child is learning other things that can help them be successful and well-rounded individuals.
Many ambitious parents see other parents (and their children) as direct competition and obstacles to their own child’s success. Even though that can be the case to a degree, it’s crucial to know that networking with others can significantly help you feel less anxious.
After all, everything’s better when you have others to lean on. You can talk to other parents and learn some new useful information, while your child can make new friends and learn to be more sociable.
Trying to provide your kid with better education can be very nerve-racking for the whole family, but you should also be aware that your child won’t be happier or more hard-working if you constantly push them to succeed without considering their true abilities and desires.
Always remember to keep the balance and focus on making your child a responsible, self-confident and self-reliant person and results are happy child, happy family, and happy marriage.
The post How to Deal With Stress Over Providing Your Child With Better Education and Save Your Marriage appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.
Every 13 seconds, there is one divorce in America. By the time you finish reading this article, there will be several more divorces that happen.
Divorce is sadly a part of life, not for everyone — but a lot of people.
And, life after a divorce can be quite challenging for many. To add fuel to the fire, heartache, and loneliness may be one of the worst feelings someone can go through after a divorce.
Fortunately, you are not alone. Almost everyone will be somewhat affected by divorce at some point in their lifetime. If you’re going through the sad stages following a divorce, take a minute to read these post-breakup tips for moving on after divorce and kick-start your new life.
Ways to thrive after divorce
Life after a divorce is not easy, we all know about that. But, hobbies are great opportunities to get you engaged with something you enjoy. They are perfect stress-relievers and can also help boost your social life!
It’s easy to find yourself stuck in a weekly routine that can quickly turn dull. Hobbies offer more than just a “rinse and repeat” lifestyle, they provide us with an outlet for distraction and creativity.
If starting a garden isn’t your thing, join a kickball team or learn a new language! There are many amazing opportunities out there just waiting for you to explore.
Art is important at all stages of your life. The benefits of practicing art include relieving stress, boosting creativity and it can give you a self of accomplishment.
Taking an art class is not only an amazing opportunity to learn and create, but it will also be a good chance to meet new people who share similar interests as you.
Life after a divorce is tough, but there are endless mental health benefits to studying and practicing art.
For example-
Art places emphasis on focus, perseverance and visual learning and it is a fantastic outlet for emotional expression.
Following your divorce, it’s important you exercise your brain in a healthy and productive way.
Divorce should be all about new beginnings and learning to love yourself again. The best place to start is by making your home all about you.
Interior designer, Paul Rees, explains, “You don’t need to go out and purchase new furniture to make a home feel new and fresh following a divorce. Make this a transformational journey based around feng shui elements, the art you love and photos of your family members.”
This can be a cost-efficient alternative to going out and remodeling your place, also to start creating your new life after divorce
A study conducted by the Marshfield Clinic in Wisconsin found that women who travel for at least twice a year are less likely to suffer from depression, and chronic stress than women who don’t vacation twice a year.
A vacation might not be the first thing that pops into your head following a divorce, but it should be.
Travel somewhere you have never been to before and see the world in a new light. Traveling is scientifically proven to make you healthier, more creative and it lowers the risk of depression.
Following a divorce, you might find yourself with too much free time.
Divorce expert, Stephen Vertucci, recommends volunteering as a wonderful opportunity to get to know your neighbors and community while benefiting others, “there are so many places you can volunteer at including animal shelters, homeless shelters, beach cleanups, your local church, art museums and so much more!”
Volunteering can connect you to others, help promote a healthy sense of accomplishment and might even be beneficial to advancing your career. Find a volunteer opportunity that is based around something you enjoy.
This will be a great chance to meet others in your neighborhood who also share similar interests.
You’d be surprised to know just how beneficial our furry friends can be to our mental health — especially after a divorce.
Having an animal can provide you with companionship and can offer a sense of purpose and security following a breakup. They also make wonderful best friends.
According to the CDC, health benefits of having pets include decreased blood pressure, decreased feelings of loneliness, increased possibilities for socialization and more opportunities for exercise and outdoor activities!
So, if you are looking for ways to improve your life after a divorce, consider getting a pet for yourself.
Research finds that people who eat regularly home-cooked meals tend to be happier and healthier. Additionally, home-cooked meals are more cost-efficient, have considerably less sugar, and they’re more sustainable.
Cooking has many therapeutic qualities; getting your hands a little dirty and trying new recipes is an opportunity to open your mind to new flavors and expand your palette.
Take a break from social media as you transition into single life.
There are many temptations lurking on social media, including the urge to check out your ex’s activity or look at old photos that might remind you of your past together.
Since your relationship is over, communication can only prolong the frustration and hurt. Disconnect from your past by looking for new ways to keep your mind busy and keep a space between the old you and the future you.
There is no manual on how to adjust to being single after a divorce. However, these tips can offer suggestions on how to kickstart a fresh slate on your future.
The loneliness after a divorce can be crushing, but the free time you now have can give you an opportunity to explore new outlets about yourself and find new things about you that you didn’t know were possible.
You’re not the first person to feel lonely while single, and you certainly won’t be the last!
Enjoy every moment and learn new things about yourself you never thought possible.
The post 8 Ways to Kickstart Your Life After a Divorce appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.
They say that divorce is hard, and they say that it is expensive. But, sometimes all the excuses made about divorce should be avoided, and the action to have a divorce should be taken to escape a destructive marriage.
A divorce should concern more than just the parents; it should concern the whole family; children included. But some couples choose the life of compromise and prefer staying married for the kids only.
But, divorce should not be delayed and prolonged. The longer a destructive marriage lasts, the longer the damage occurs for all those involved. You have to decide when to leave a marriage with kids before matters go out of your hand.
It does not make a strong marriage if the two involved are always fighting, putting each other in a bad mood, and shouting early in the mornings. It is not a healthy marriage to be rude to your partner and not help them when they most need it.
For example –
“My parents are always disagreeing with each other, always complaining about the smallest of things in their lives. They hold each other back. The happiness in the family is ever so rarely shown.
I feel as if parents in a bad relationship don’t place any thought on the effect that their bad habits and repulsive actions have on their children. They are too consumed in their problems and focused on what matters to them more than others.”
Let’s cite a personal example here –
“I, for a period of my time, thought that I did not want to be in a marriage. I witnessed firsthand how horrible it is, how unloving and uncaring it can be. I thought to myself why on earth would anyone want this and that was wrong for me to do.
It was evil of me to think of a future where love does not exist because it does not feel as if there is any love in my own family.
It takes a toll on the child’s mental health, on mine, to hear the constant fighting and to be woken up in the mornings because others are not happy.”
Parents, who always start their day on the wrong side of the bed, try and inflict their wounds onto their children, and also, try to bring their moods down. It is downright wrong and childish. It is also unfair.
This is why bad marriages are worse for kids.
“I have become so starved of love and needy for it because it is not shown. Not every human on this planet should have children. Some simply are not cut out for it and cannot be a good parent to save their life.
My parents are too stubborn to change their ways and too self-centered to care about how others feel.
Whenever my mom asks if I am okay, it is with a smile on her face and no follows up questions. No interest to pursue the question and get an answer. It shows how little care is given.”
The worst thing that can happen to you while living in a destructive marriage is getting used to the bad treatment and finding ways to cope with the noise. It shows how nothing is going to get resolved and that the problem will continue.
Just because a child gets used to their parent’s bad marriage does not make it easier for the child. The longer it lasts, the more likely kids just become so numb to their actions and void of emotions to what they do.
It makes me fight back, over and over, when a child shouldn’t have to go through any of it. It makes me tired and bored of the same old unhappy routine.
Personal experience –
“My brother has, unfortunately, followed in their footsteps. He has become violent as a defense to all their actions and rude just like them, mimicking their actions.
My question is why parents would want to raise children like that, yet again they are so unfocused on their children’s problems that they don’t even notice.
I, on the other hand, want nothing else but to escape from them and leave them behind, literally to never return because they are bullies and I cannot live with bullies in my life. Why would you as parents, create an environment that chases your children away? My mind and mental health struggles alone now, it isn’t strong enough to just keep going through with what they have to offer.
And, it is not right for me to hold myself back in life due to a broken family. It is not healthy for myself and I should be thinking and doing what is the best course of action for me.”
If they are unwilling to change then I will not force them to do so. They should learn about their consequences to their actions.
A family should be more than just the DNA coursing through your veins. It is the love for each other, acceptance, and care. It is also how you raise and take care of your children.
If you are failing at these things in life. Then your mistakes as a parent will make its way into your children’s. There are just so many things that my parents are doing wrong. It breaks my heart to think about it.
Why do bad parents even exist?
Another bad thing is that my parents keep bringing up that the way they treat us is how their parents raised them.
Why would you want to continue a bad upbringing when you as the parent know how it feels? Can you not take the initiative to learn from your parents not to do as they did?
It shows how lazy my parents are to change and better themselves for their families. It should never be too late to repair and attempt to fix a broken marriage but if absolutely no effort is given, then leaving each other should be the next course of action.
Never get complacent with a destructive marriage.
I have learned what a family should mean and how they should treat each other.
I have learned from observing the pain of my family, a pain I would never want my loved one to go through. A pain I would not enjoy going through so I will find someone I love and not let that love die or end.
And if it does, I will respectfully get a divorce no matter how much it hurts because my children wouldn’t deserve to go through an unhappy marriage.
Happiness should be the main objective for your family, and I will not be selfish enough to put my feelings before those I should care about and are important to me.
The post Understanding a Destructive Marriage From a Child’s Perspective appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.
As beautiful as weddings can be, they can end up generating a lot of waste, including food waste, and single-use decorations.
A lot of couples today are becoming conscious of the need to treat the planet better, so they are going out of their way to find green wedding ideas to minimize waste and save money in the process. They arrange for an eco-friendly wedding and prefer eco-friendly decors to minimalize wedding wastes.
Due to these facts, the demand for sustainable weddings is on the rise and the young couples are looking more for eco-friendly wedding favors.
If you’re one of those couples who want to have an environmentally and socially conscious wedding, you’re in the right place.
In this post, we’re sharing tips on how you can plan out your very own eco-friendly wedding.
Tips and ideas for an eco-friendly wedding
An eco-conscious or eco-friendly wedding can begin as early as engagement ring shopping.
Make sure to use jewelers who are using fair-labor gemstones that have a clean ethical background and traceable origin.
Some rings, like the popular sapphire engagement ring, have gemstones that come from smaller mines run by local families and groups, so buying these rings can mean supporting ethically-conscious mining.
We know how it sounds, but a considerable contribution to your eco-friendly actions is reducing the guest list as much as possible, especially for those guests who need to travel great distances to attend the celebration.
Being strict with your guest registry also minimizes the waste and will free up some budget to possibly spend on food or drinks for those remaining guests, who are now going to be a part of a smaller but more intimate wedding.
When it comes to inviting guests, you can do all invitations electronically. Or if you really prefer actual invites, try using recycled paper, i.e., sending out eco-friendly invitations.
The best eco-friendly option for food is to choose a local catering company that can tailor your menu to the foods available seasonally and that sources its supplies from local organic providers.
Once the celebration is done, make sure to take care of the leftovers appropriately. If possible, donate extra food to a local food bank or homeless shelter.
Traveling to your wedding venue can leave a major carbon footprint, so it’s best to find a place you love near the majority of your guests. The best eco-friendly location would be the natural environment as you can rely on natural light.
However, if you prefer celebrating indoors, consider venues with lots of natural light, or use candles as they will add to the romance and reduce electricity consumption.
Quite a unique idea for organizing an eco-friendly wedding!
Anything that is single-use is not environment-friendly, so consider renting as there are plenty of options out there for your own eco-friendly wedding. You can rent anything from a wedding dress to decor, equipment, and even linen, tablecloth, and runners.
If you’re going with the straws in mixed drinks, go green and pick paper over plastic.
Flowers can really alter the whole appearance of your wedding.
We suggest you go for seasonal and local ones as it will reduce the carbon footprint and be easier on your wallet too. Whatever arrangement you decide on, make sure to avoid floral foam as it contains a lot of chemicals and it’s mostly non-biodegradable.
This is one of the many ways to plan an eco-friendly wedding.
Instead of favors, you can let your guests know that you have donated a certain amount per guest toward one of the many environmental organizations.
You can then encourage your guests to do the same by letting them donate to the same organization, or by letting them choose one they’d like to support.
Your plan of holding an eco-friendly wedding already shows that you are taking steps in the right direction and that you care about our planet.
The fact that you’re making the environment a priority on one of your most special days is sure to inspire others around you and spur them to start making changes that contribute to a better, safer, and cleaner earth.
The post How Do You Plan an Eco-Friendly Wedding? appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.
Today’s world is different from the one we grew up in.
We can’t send our kids out to play on their own — even going to school is dangerous — and the divorce rate is dropping, thanks to millennial families who don’t believe in that archaic tradition and are changing the very dynamics of marriage and parenting, entirely.
We can’t raise our kids the way our parents brought us up, and that makes it even more challenging to balance your marriage with the joys of parenthood, especially when we’re spending most of our time with at least half an eye on our little ones.
How can you balance marriage and parenting while finding enough time for both? Well! There are ways to balance marriage and parenting, let’s understand them, one at a time.
Staying lovers while raising kids
One can easily balance marriage and parenting but have to follow certain rules to achieve that not-so-impossible task like a pro.
We might sound like we’re repeating ourselves, but learning how to communicate efficiently is undoubtedly one of the most important relationship skills you can learn to help you maintain both your married life and your life as parents.
After being married for a while, you might find the only time you fight with one another is when communication breaks down between you. You need to practice your communication skills — both how to talk and when you should broach a subject.
Maintaining your marriage and children can prove to be quite a back-breaking task for many. There are issues you wish to communicate with your partner but your kids demand your attention, especially during their infancy.
But, don’t start talking about a difficult subject at 3 a.m. when the kids won’t sleep and you’re both exhausted. That’ll just end with both of you upset and fighting — not because you’re angry at each other, but because you’re tired and frustrated and don’t know any other way to express yourself.
It is always best if you could take the time to learn how to communicate and connect, rather than ignoring your partner and letting their statements go in one ear and out the other.
Self-care is one of the essential skills you’ll learn as both a spouse and a parent.
It’s easy to neglect yourself when you’ve got kids who depend on you and a spouse who demands what little attention you haven’t already spent on the kids, but if you want to balance marriage and parenting, you need to learn how to prioritize yourself once in a while.
You don’t have to neglect your other responsibilities or people in your life. Instead, make it a point to take time for yourself, even if it’s something small like taking 20 minutes to meditate or work out.
At the same time, you’ll also need to learn how to prioritize each other. Have someone babysit the kids and schedule a date night once a month or once every other week, as finances allow. You’re going to be tired and stressed out, especially in the first few months after having a new baby.
Making time for regular date nights gives you a chance to unwind and relearn how to prioritize one another, which can be a challenge with little ones at home.
Prioritizing yourself, your kids and your marriage are not mutually exclusive concepts. It’s a bit of a balancing act, but it’s worth it in the long run.
It seems like everyone has an opinion on how you should be raising your kids. One thing we can all agree on, however, is that kids don’t play outside like we used to.
Even millennials who grew up in the 1990s had more freedom to explore and play — and fewer incentives to stay indoors. This change has led to an increase in children suffering from childhood obesity.
Right now, more than 12 million children in the United States fall under the classification of obese.
The easiest way to solve this problem, or at least mitigate some of its effects, is to take time to play with your kids. Get outside and spend time with them on the playground, instead of sitting on the bench and watching them play.
You might be surprised how much fun you have, plus it’ll help you get some cardio, too.
If you’re not the perfect parent, you might worry people are talking about you behind your back.
So what if they are? As long as everyone in the household is fed, clothed and happy, don’t feel bad about setting aside some time for yourself, or for you and your spouse to reconnect.
Self-care is not selfish.
And, self-care includes caring for your relationship with your partner, or the ones you have with your children, in addition to caring for yourself. This is how you can balance your marriage and parenting, at the same time.
Finding the balance between parenthood and your marriage won’t happen overnight. Nothing worth putting in the effort ever does.
Take the time to practice and find your balance.
You will have to work on it every day, and maybe even relearn a few skills, like self-care, you’ve forgotten in your quest to be the perfect parent or partner. Take care of yourself, take care of each other and everything else will take care of itself.
The post How to Balance Being a Parent and Your Marriage appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.
Long distance relationships are hard to maintain.
With limited physical presence, you have to rely on one’s mental presence and keep the relationship going through chats or voice calls. Above all, time plays a pivotal role in a long distance relationship.
You both have to accommodate yourself with each other’s availability and schedule. Things turn hard when you both are in a different time zone.
How to make him feel special in a long distance relationship with so much of constraints? This is the most common question every girl has.
Well, to sort things up, listed below are some of the romantic things to do for your boyfriend long distance. These will easy up the things a bit and will help you strengthen your relationship.
If you’ve read established writers, you would realize that they’ve given stress on letter writing. The reason being when you write a letter, you channel your thoughts and put all your emotions into it.
While writing you think of your boyfriend and express your love for him. Likewise, when the reader reads it, they can feel the emotions flowing through the words on a piece of paper.
So, if you are wondering how to show him you love him long distance, consider letter writing. Your boyfriend will not only love these letters but will also keep them safe to read whenever they’re feeling lonely or missing you.
If you think that writing the letter is too much hassle for you and you’re not able to maintain it properly, consider writing surprise emails.
For sure, you must have decided to exchange emails regularly, but just dropping an email wishing them a good day might bring a smile on your boyfriend’s face.
Men are not good with expressing emotions so you have to take up the task seriously. You’ve to lead it by such romantic letters and interesting emails. So, this is one of the cute things to do for your boyfriend long distance and express your love towards him.
As much as you want to have an end of the day call, he wants it too.
To have a call at the end of the day and talk about how the day went is one of the cute things to do for your boyfriend in a long distance relationship.
This way, he will feel you’re close to him and the love for you will be alive in his heart. Leaving your boyfriend unattended for longer days might make him feel insecure and things might turn bad. So, to avoid it, make sure that you have a constant call with him at the end of the day.
Sex conversations excite a man; and it’s a universally known fact.
So, if you’re wondering how to make him feel loved long distance, get involved in a sex-text, sext, to excite him and make him feel loved.
When you’re physically there, having sex is quite easy, but in long distance keeping your man deprived of it might lead to complications in a relationship.
So, getting naughty and having sext can fill in the gap and can keep the excitement alive.
Yes, men also love surprise gifts.
They might not express it, as they’re not very good at expressing it, but they feel loved and good when they get romantic gifts. How to make him feel special in a long distance relationship?
Remember those special dates and ensure he gets surprise gifts on those dates. Also, you’re free to send out long distance relationship surprises randomly without any occasion.
Undoubtedly, your pictures will bring a smile on his face, but your goofy or comic pictures will make him laugh.
One of the sweet things to do for your long distance boyfriend is to share your goofy or funny pictures with him so that he has a great smile on his face. Besides, he can look at them whenever he misses you.
How to make your long distance boyfriend happy? Share some PDA over social media.
Some might not approve of PDA but a healthy PDA is good for your relationship.
PDA demonstrates that you are deeply in love with each other and it brushes away all the speculations that might appear due to your long distance relationship.
So, don’t hesitate to display some social media PDA. However, ensure you don’t overdo it.
No matter how strong your emotional connect is, physical connection is needed to strengthen it.
How to make him feel special in a long distance relationship?
Consider meeting him once a while, whenever possible. Make the most of these meetings. Arrange a date or go out on a short vacation. Just spend time with each other.
If you think you both are not able to meet sometime soon then plan for a video date. Make this special. Make it memorable.
These small moments are worth cheering for.
Don’t let distance come in between your boyfriend and you. Be creative in such dates and express your love to him.
The post 9 Ways to Make Him Feel Special in a Long Distance Relationship appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.
Breakups are always painful. It torn you apart and suddenly you’re helpless and aimless. You are not sure what to do next once the one you loved so much walks out of your life.
Foremost, when we get into a relationship we never anticipate break up. We always wish it to last forever; however the ultimate truth of life is that everything ends.
To live a life with a void in the life is never easy, but one must get over it. When we talk about break ups, men and women have different ways of dealing with it. Their initial reaction to the break up is different. Let’s have a look at men vs women break up and how they both react to it.
When in a relationship, men and women derive different pleasure from it. While most men feel inflated self-esteem by being someone’s love interest, women derive a strong connection by being someone’s girlfriend.
When things turn sour, and the breakup happens, both the sexes feel the pain for different reasons. Break up effects on guys differently as they feel their self-esteem shattered, women feel a lost connection.
So, while they both are getting emotional over breakup, the reason apart from the separation is that they’re losing self-esteem and a strong connection.
What women do after a break up? They cry a lot. Since they have lost a connection, someone they truly loved, they feel helpless and cry it out.
They even go on a denial mode and sometimes refuse to accept that they’ve had a break up. Men after a break up go crazy. They find it hard to accept the fact and often find solace in drinking alcohol.
They start drinking heavily and start to introspect what went wrong in the relationship. For them to find a solid reason to explain the break up is essential. It’s a question of their self-esteem afterwards.
This is a crucial difference between men vs women breakup behavior. When men break up, first they rejoice that they will be able to do all the things that their girlfriend restricted them from doing, then they feel the void and later they decide to get them back.
They get mad as to why the girl left them. For them to digest the fact is difficult. However, women slowly are able to comprehend that they’ve had a breakup and they must move on. This understanding helps them to move forward in life and they’re able to overcome it faster.
Leaving behind the debate who get over a heartbreak fast, let’s have a look ways on how to move on fast after a break up.
Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Everyone speaks of this phase and often refer to it in our daily conversation. Men vs women break up reaction is quite different and in some cases opposite to each other. The aforementioned differences clarify this.
The post 3 Major Men vs Women Break up Reactions appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.
