Tuesday 31 December 2019

7 Powerful Self Love Affirmations

Self Love Affirmations are your superpower.  Because self love is at the core of all our other loves. Self-love affirmations can empower you to become respectful and truly appreciative toward yourself.  They help you experience unconditional positive self-regard and unconditional self-acceptance. Which means, regardless of your circumstances, behavior, achievements or life situations, you can learn…

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Monday 30 December 2019

Slow Down for Resilience

Resolutions for the New Year–More Love in 2020

This time of year, there’s a lot of talk about resolutions for the new year and here’s what we’ve learned… One of the tricks to more love and more of the other things you want to bring forth in 2020 is to not make resolutions… …

Resolutions for the New Year–More Love in 2020 Read More »

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Positive Parenting Methods to Help Blend Families

Positive Parenting Methods to Help Blend Families

Every family has its share of ups and downs but these seem more pronounced in blended families.

Bringing together two distinct families comes with its own set of problems and it often takes a while for stepfamilies to find a balanced parenting method or an arrangement that works for everyone.

As a stepparent, it can be difficult to find your parental footing in the new family. You’ll have to nurture your relationship with your partner as well as build and sustain one with your stepchildren.

Things can get more complicated if both of you brought children into the new marriage.

With such a mix of personalities and ages, it’s only natural to expect some challenges. Children of any age are especially sensitive to the changes brought about by blended families.

They might see you as an imposter in their family and you’ll be a constant reminder that their biological parents won’t be together again. If both you and your partner have children, it can mean that these kids suddenly find themselves thrust into unfamiliar roles.

For instance, your eldest child might now be the youngest in the new family. Alternatively, a child who was used to being the only girl or boy might lose their uniqueness.

When kids from either parent are involved, some uncertainty, resentment, disappointment, anger, and resistance is to be expected. You, therefore, need to be patient, loving and respectful as you work through any issues that arise and inculcate positive parenting techniques.

Keep in mind that the whole family will need time to adjust to the new changes. But, you must continue with your practice of positive parenting to overcome the blended family challenges.

Here are some positive parenting tips, and tips for blended families to help you steer through the growing pains of the parenting method in blended families.

Keep lines of communication open

In order for a parenting method in a blended family to work, there needs to be clear and open communication between family members.

Lack of communication breeds misunderstandings and disagreements which can eventually split the family into warring sides.

To prevent this, make a habit of discussing family issues as soon as they arise. Give everyone, including the kids, a chance to voice their opinion and listen respectfully when they do.

Get on the same page with your partner

It can be easy to keep doing things as you’ve always done, believing that your spouse will tag along. This can quickly make your partner feel like you don’t value their presence or opinion.

It’s far better to discuss issues and figure out how you intend to incorporate parenting method and create a new life together for a blended family parenting.

Ensure you agree on things like how to split the finances, disciplining the kids and other roles that you’ll play in the family.

Have clear boundaries

Have clear boundaries

All kids, even teenagers, need structure in their lives. They thrive when there are clear boundaries and everyone knows what is expected of them. So, you need to adopt a parenting method, such that, it creates an ambient surrounding for your kids.

While you and your spouse should present a united front when it comes to disciplining the children, it’s better to let the child’s biological parent be the primary disciplinarian.

For blending families with children, include the kids when setting the rules and consequences and ensure that you’re consistent and fair when following through.

Create family routines and rituals

Include family routines and rituals as apart of your parenting method. The family rituals can help you bond with your stepchildren, bringing you closer together and giving them a sense of belonging and identity.

Instead of making sweeping changes to the already existing family rituals, try to find some common ground and see if you can incorporate some aspects as you create new ones.

Something as simple as regular family dinners, Friday movie nights, Saturday game nights or special family breakfasts on Sunday might be all that’s needed to give you a chance to get to know each other.

Don’t forget about your marriage

Blended families can be exhausting and it’s easy to lose sight of your partner in all the chaos. Keep your marriage alive by making time for each other in your daily routine.

Perhaps you can grab a coffee or lunch together when the kids are at school or maybe scheduling a date night works better for you. Whatever you choose, make sure that you prioritize your marriage.

No matter how strained things seem at first, with plenty of love, patience, mutual respect, and open communication, blended families can bond amicably. And, with effective and accommodating parenting method, you can have a close, rewarding relationship with your stepchildren.

Also watch:

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Sunday 29 December 2019

The Key to Long Term Relationship Success

The Key to Long Term Relationship Success

It’s the greatest test of your life.

What makes a relationship last? how to have a successful relationship? how to maintain a long term relationship?

Nobody shows the key to a long term relationship, nor is there a secret of a long-lasting relationship.

As I watch the progression of couples into and out of treatment, I watch many repeating themes that hold them together in making a relationship last or split them separated.

 Most unmistakable is this: Provisions.

What major idea is given, from one accomplice to the next, really and reliably, from the heart? It begins there, and it can end there.

It is the never-ending giving of something so indispensable, reached out starting with one human then onto the next.

This is ground-breaking to the point that it draws two arbitrary individuals together on this planet and aides them from focusing on tips and tricks for a lifetime together in a long term relationship.

It must be some truly great stuff!

What is this mixed drink of provisions that is so incredible?

For what reason do individuals take off when they are “enamored”?

Regardless of whether it is increasingly physical or progressively mental from the outset, it is the inclination of at long last being perceived in this riotous world, personally and significantly.

Someone goes along and offers to us this endowment of unadulterated consideration and genuine profound respect. Someone gets us, needs us, and there is nothing increasingly powerful.

Therapist and creator David Richo consider these provisions the Five A’s:

  1. Consideration
  2. Acknowledgment
  3. Appreciation
  4. Affection
  5. Permitting

I like to include the significant one of Admiration. This mix sends endorphins taking off.

The relationship develops, as the attunement sets.

Everything is worthy, what a consolation, and liked, and acknowledged. How brilliant. There are contemplations and effort, and everything focuses on feeling extraordinary and recognized.

In strolls reality, and after some time, and the general human state of getting settled. In strolls interruptions, and different needs.

Vocation, family, public activity, endlessly.

It is very difficult to keep up the first focal point of the close couple. So many sober-minded things to put effort towards, reasonable. While there is, obviously, a characteristic movement from force to gauge, the change will affect the couple one way or another.

Some develop with the change, yet many are wrecked by it.

It is normally a moderate change from the underlying stage to this stage, scarcely even saw as life rushes on.

What’s more, since it is a moderate and quiet development, accomplices go on without tending to what is really evolving. In comes hatred; I consider it the quiet interloper. Quiet only for a short time.

All things considered, what really occurs inside each accomplice as they float along in this direction?

What do they feel, miss? What do they accept?

What do they feel, miss? What do they accept?

It generally directs back toward their story, their history.

Like it or not, that is the focal point through which we as a whole see. I get the chance to hear each one of those recognitions. I consider it to be the non-verbal communication as couples point away, as eyes roll.

Intriguing.

A lot of my work with couples is to unwind the old stories from the present minute. And afterward, fundamentally, to reestablish the first provisions. A realignment without a doubt.

What happens when consideration and deference blur away?

It harms. It is miserable. It is missed. It frequently feels like dismissal or lack of engagement. What responses happen at the trace of losing this indispensable blessing in a long term relationship? Intriguing to watch.

The protectiveness obviously.

Accomplices run the range from uninvolved forceful practices to battle or flight reactions. Closing down is regularly a typical outcome. Maybe its carelessness or complete shut down.

Stonewalling is the term instituted by couples specialists John and Julie Gottman. It is a guard and an acquiescence. I consider it the “Why to Bother” disorder.

During crafted by couples guiding, we start to unwind the course of events and the messages given and got along the way.

This is an energizing piece of work. Accomplices in a long term relationship wake up and re-adjust to the universe of their accomplice, and reconnection starts.

I am advantaged to shoulder observer to the astonishing new development now. What couples in a long term relationship learn is that they are together for the very purpose behind giving this blessing to their life partner.

What are the keys to a decent relationship?

Little signals that express “hello I truly like you,” ” I do really consider you during my day”, ” I am interested in your reality, etc. On the off chance that that isn’t organized, there is no paste to continue this relationship. The Gottmans allude to “everyday stories in the bank”.

That is the establishment of this long term relationship.

It truly isn’t so a lot of work; be that as it may, it needs to be on the timetable.

What happens is unobtrusive, however aggregate. In a long term relationship, it turns into an unshakable establishment that will support all the curveballs life may toss in the years ahead.

Not carrying attention to this is like giving a blessing, at that point removing it.

Puzzling to many couples. Damaging. Pernicious. We can pick positive affirmation over cynicism. It is a cognizant decision. Furthermore, when there is stuff to fix, the positive abrogate makes ready for compromise.

Also watch:

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Family Quotes That Can Guide You Home

Family Quotes That Can Guide You Home

Family is what helps us stay centered in our lives. Family quotes can be a guiding light in times of uncertainty, and a safe haven in times of distress.

However, a family is more than a support system. It is a part of your daily life that includes routines, jokes, and even occasional arguments.

The purpose of many of the quotes about family, quotes about home, and quotes about parents and children, given below are to help you navigate the bad times, and most importantly, enjoy and savor the good times.

So, enjoy these family quotes and allow them to guide you in your desperate times.

Quotes about family life

  1. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. – George Burns
  2. “In time of test, the family is best.” –Burmese Proverb
  3. “The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.” ― Richard Bach (Aviator and Author)
  4. “If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.” Mother Teresa
  5. “Work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls—family, health, friends, and integrity—are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered.” —Gary Keller
  6. “A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.” — Ogden Nash
  7. “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” – Leo Tolstoy (Anna Karenina)
  8. “As the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live”–Pope John Paul II
  9. “Pain travels through families until someone is ready to feel it.” -Stephi Wagner
  10. “It’s not necessarily what a family is supposed to look like. But it is what it is. It’s about a connection and bond that everyone can identify with.” – Queen Latifah
  11. “Disorder in the society is the result of disorder in the family.” – St. Elizabeth Ann Seton
  12. “Ohana means family and family means no one gets left behind or forgotten” – Lilo and Stitch
  13. “A family is like the forest, when you are outside it is dense, when you are inside you see that each tree has its place.” – Ghanaian Proverb
  14. ‘You have to love a nation that celebrates it’s independence every July 4th not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics…’ Erma Bombeck
  15. “ I sustain myself with the love of family” Maya Angelou [1080×1080]
  16. “A brother is like gold and a friend is like diamond. If gold cracks you can melt it and make it just like it was before. If a diamond cracks, it can never be like it was before.” ― Ali Ibn Abu-Talib
  17. “We all hate it sometimes when our friends or family try to make us feel better about something. Actually, we just want to feel sad or pissed off for a moment.” — Jessica Wildfire

Family quotes about children and parents

Family quotes about children and parents

  1. “The key to being a good dad… well, sometimes things work out just the way you want. Sometimes they don’t. But you gotta hang in there because when all is said and done, 90 percent of being a dad is just showing up.” Jay, Modern Family
  2. “The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.” — Calvin Trillin
  3. Love your parents. We are so busy growing up, we often forget they are also growing old. – Uknown
  4. “One of the greatest things a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” – Howard Hunter
  5. “The children who need love the most will always ask for it in the most unloving of ways.” – Russel Barkley
  6. “Wise parents prepare their children to get along without them.” -Larry Y. Wilson
  7. “A lot of mothers will do anything for their children, except let them be themselves.” – Banksy, Wall, and Piece
  8. “Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.” -Oscar Wilde
  9. “I’d like to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities. Well done. That is what all parents should do.” – Tina Fey, 2008 Emmy Awards
  10. “Do not raise your children the way your parents raised you; they were born for a different time. ” – Abi bin Abi Taleb (599—661 A.D.)
  11. The question isn’t so much, ‘Are you parenting the right way?’ as it is: ‘Are you the adult you want your child to grow up to be?’ – Dr. Brene Brown in Daring Greatly
  12. “By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.”- Charles Wadsworth

Family quotes about home

  1. “Where is home? I’ve wondered where home is, and I realized it’s not Mars or someplace like that, it’s Indianapolis when I was nine years old. I had a brother and a sister, a cat and a dog, and a mother and a father and uncles and aunts. And there’s no way I can get there again.” Kurt Vonnegut
  2. “It’s a funny thing about coming home. Looks the same, smells the same, feels the same. You’ll realize what’s changed is you.” F. Scott Fitzgerald
  3. “A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.” -George Augustus Moore
  4. “Home is where all your attempts to escape cease.” – Naguib Mahfouz
  5. “Home is where people love you, don’t forget that.” Burnie Burns
  6. “Students who are loved at home, come to school to learn. Students who aren’t, come to school to be loved. – Nicholas A. Ferroni
  7. You can’t truly be considered successful in your business life if your home life is in shambles.” —Zig Ziglar
  8. “Home is not where you are from, it is where you belong. Some of us travel the whole world to find it. Others, find it in a person” – Beau Taplin
  9. “Nothing can bring a real sense of security into the home except true love” – Billy Graham
  10. “Home is the place where boys and girls first learn how to limit their wishes, abide by rules, and consider the rights and needs of others.” — Sidonie Gruenberg
  11. He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds peace in his home. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Conclusion

It takes a lot of effort to make a family flourish. Sometimes, you’ll also have to wait for the right person to start one. In the end, however, all your efforts will be rewarded tenfold.

Hope, you enjoyed these family quotes. So, enjoy your family, and live it day by day.

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Why Would You Hire a Private Investigator for Divorce?

Why Would You Hire a Private Investigator for Divorce

Going through a divorce certainly isn’t easy for anyone involved.

Whether you’re the one who filed with the courts or not, the process is almost always a long and drawn out one that can be an emotional roller coaster for both parties.

And that gets even more difficult when young children or other dependent family members are involved. There are inevitably going to be disagreements over how to divide assets, take care of the kids and resolve other duties and obligations.

And that’s where the need for accurate information comes into play.

Each side wants to see a fair and honest settlement when the process is finally complete, but that can’t be reached unless the court has the necessary paperwork on hand before making a final decision.

One of the best ways to gather that all-important paperwork is through the use of a licensed and professional private investigator, someone who can work on your behalf to ensure that you’re treated fairly by the courts during a divorce proceeding.

That’s how a private investigator can help your divorce case.

Can a private investigator help in divorce?

Private investigators are highly trained professionals who specialize in gathering and analyzing information on any number of issues, including often combative divorce cases.

Using methods such as surveillance, fact-finding and cultivating local sources, private investigator for divorce can and do work diligently on your behalf to gather as much evidence as possible to support your case in court.

Some of the areas private investigators can help with in regards to a divorce case include gathering evidence in matters related to adultery,  domestic violence and deceit, as well as uncovering any assets that may have been hidden by the other party.

Roles of private investigator in divorce

Proving allegations

If the case is classified as a “fault divorce,” this means that blame for the divorce is placed on either the wife or the husband, depending on the case.

This “fault” usually falls into one of many set categories, including either physical or emotional cruelty, adultery, desertion, imprisonment or others.

But now that the case has been filed under those grounds, that fault must be proven to the court, just as guilt must be established in a criminal trial.

This means that proof in the case must be gathered, organized and presented to the court. You could try to do this yourself, but that’s not advisable for many reasons.

If you decide you might want to gather information in the case on your own, you first need to sit down and ask yourself why you would want to do so.

You almost certainly haven’t been trained in this area, not to mention the fact that you’re heavily involved emotionally in the case.

You also run the risk of the judge doubting the evidence you’ve gathered, knowing of course that you’re highly motivated to present documentation that supports your case.

Whether you’ve obtained that information legally or not, and whether it’s accurate or not, there could still be suspicion on behalf of the court that you’ve fabricated the evidence in some way to support your case, an allegation that could be presented by your spouse’s attorney.

A private investigator for divorce, on the other hand, has been highly trained in gathering evidence in these types of cases. They know the laws they must operate within and are used to facing dangers when working in the field.

So put a private investigator for divorce  to work for you, while you focus on the emotional toll that the divorce will inevitably take on you and your family.

Child support

Child support

Divorces that involve minor children can be especially difficult, in many different ways.

Not only is the health and welfare of the child or children a top concern for the court, but deciding how much one party will pay the other for the care of the minor children is always a big part of any divorce case.

Many times, one parent mistrusts the other so much that they’ll attempt to hide assets in order to avoid paying more in child support payments than they feel they should.

They may feel that their ex will be spending that money on themselves instead of using it to care for the child, for example.

But whatever the reason, the children will always get top priority by the court and child support payments will be mandated in the final divorce paperwork.

If you suspect your soon to be ex is hiding assets or misrepresenting their income, this is another area where a licensed private investigator for divorce can help.

By using methods that include surveillance, database searches, and good old fashioned interviewing skills, private investigator for divorce can find those assets and present the evidence to the court.

Child custody

Setting the issue of financial support aside for the moment, deciding who will actually care for the child or children can be even more important.

In many cases, there are extenuating circumstances in this area. If adultery is a main cause of the divorce, or if alcoholism, drug use or physical abuse are suspected, this is a case for a licensed private investigator for divorce.

These are cases that ultimately involve the health and safety of the minor children involved in the divorce, and it’s not taken lightly by the courts.

Private investigator for divorce  can seek out and either confirm or deny allegations regarding any of the concerns listed above or another concern entirely. This information can then be summarized and presented to the court for a final decision on the matter.

Watch Also:

Property division

In most divorce cases, disagreement and arguments will come up in relation to how the couple will divide up any property or assets that were obtained during the course of the marriage.

This can involve things like houses, cars, savings and retirement accounts, furniture and any number of other items. If a dollar figure can be put on it, then the court will need to decide how it is to be divided once the divorce has been finalized.

Private investigator for divorce can help in this area by doing research on your behalf and determining how much your ex is worth and if they have any assets that are being hidden in anticipation of a final ruling by the court.

Private investigator for divorce can also testify on your behalf in court, which is one of the main reasons they keep accurate records during the course of an investigation. Those notes can then be referred to while on the stand and under oath, strengthening your case in the eyes of the court.

Don’t do it alone

Just as it’s never a good idea to buy or sell a home without the assistance of a real estate agent, it’s also never a good idea to gather evidence for court without the use of a professional investigator.

Their assistance in these matters will be worth their weight in gold, helping you in ways that you may never have imagined.

They’re well versed in local laws and regulations, as well as how the local courts operate.

Now that you have found the answer to the question, why would you hire a private investigator, put their knowledge and experience to work for you during this trying and difficult time of your life.

Private investigations in divorce will definitely be money well spent!

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Saturday 28 December 2019

Where to Meet Men Offline

Are you wondering where to meet men offline?  Are you getting sick of endlessly swiping and getting nowhere?  Well here are some awesome places to meet guys—and I do mean great guys!!!  The old-fashioned way—face to face.  Where you can feel whether you are sympatico and whether you actually have chemistry right from the start.…

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Friday 27 December 2019

Top 10 Gottman Relationship Blog Posts of 2019

In 2019, we took a look at the things that challenge relationships, and ways to ultimately make the relationships we choose stronger.

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Thursday 26 December 2019

10 Tips to Build Long-Lasting Relationships

10 Pieces of Advice to Build Long-Lasting Relationships

A healthy and long-lasting relationship asks for equal efforts and understanding between the partners. A sense of mental peace is important for a happy relationship.

You should always be excited about doing each and everything together.

So, how to have a long-lasting relationship, and how to make a long term relationship last?

If you are keen to know what makes a lasting relationship, here are some of the essential tips that you can try to implement to sustain a relationship.

These tips are crucial in building lasting relationships and are also relevant for the other relationships in your life, apart from the romantic one.

Be communicative

You should share your feelings with your partners without thinking of being judged. Talk about problems that make you feel sad if you are aiming for a long-lasting relationship.

Discuss your life which makes you feel down and come up with a great solution. Nothing is impossible. You need to accept the reality then only, you will be able to think out of the box.

Support your partner and make them believe in themselves. Healthy communication between partners helps you in your personal and professional growth.

Give each other some ‘ME-TIME’

It is not necessary to share everything with your partner. Apart from your partner, your life should evolve between your work, family, and friends.

You should not only be dependent on each other for every single minute of the day. Give each other enough space to let them rule their life.

Enjoy your company, and make yourself happy. Give your suggestions only when your partner asks for your help to foster a long-lasting relationship.

Respect other’s opinions

Many times it happens, you both disagree with each other. It is fine because you both are a different person. Your values, beliefs, and habits are different from each other.

No one wants to win or lose in the relationship. Both need to respect each other’s opinions. There is no point in doing any argument. You both need to understand other points of view.

Put yourself in that situation and then think, you will understand what your partner is trying to communicate with you.

You both may not be saying anything wrong, but you portray the same situation in a different style.

Trust is the key to a healthy relationship

Be honest with your partner to bring transparency to your relationship. Sometimes, you inadvertently make a mistake that may hurt your partner.

Make sure you tell them and accept your mistake. You should not hide anything with your partner. You may end up losing your partner if they come to know from any other person.

It will be an unstoppable situation. You might regret this all your life!

Therefore, nothing matters more than honesty in your relationship. Being truthful always and making an effort to let them believe in you are the signs of a lasting relationship.

Appreciate each other for small things

Appreciate each other for small things

You should remind your partner about their abilities that they can do their work effectively and efficiently. Send gifts online and surprise them with some random gifts.

You don’t need to gift your partner only when there is some occasion. You should appreciate them on normal days by giving some special gifts.

It will boost their confidence, and they also love doing their work more because of you. Ultimately, it will benefit them in their personal and professional life.

Control your anger

You may end up fighting with saying wrongs words that hurt another partner a lot. You may not realize at that point, but it may disturb your beautiful relationship just because of your anger.

Make sure you don’t use abusive language when you are angry with your partner because your relationship is more important than your ego. Everybody gets angry on some or the other issue, but it doesn’t mean your love has no existence.

Be patient and let things flow smoothly. Everything falls in place when you think positively!

Spend some quality time together

Do things which make you feel closer to each other. Watch tv shows, movies, go on a road trip, spend some quality time together, and make some memories to cherish for a lifetime.

It is important to take a break from your routine life and make time for each other. You may spend the whole day with each other and still doing nothing.

Do what makes you happy. Don’t always involve in productive work. Sometimes, you need to do silly and random things to have fun together.

Accept your flaws

Don’t be so stubborn. You need to accept your flaws and improvised them. You should never be stick on one point. You may think you are right, but you cannot take responsibility for the same.

Everybody has an opinion, but it doesn’t mean they are always right on their part. You need to accept what goes wrong when you become stuck on your point.

Accept your weaknesses and know more about yourself. You will try to focus on those parts which disturb your mind.

The 2-minute rule works

A long-distance relationship can easily understand and know the value of 2- minute rule.

So, as per this two-minute rule, when one person calls, the other person should be attentive and try to listen carefully. This builds a great relationship

Even if you are in the middle of some work, when you convey the feeling of pure love, in a matter of 2 minutes, your partner can feel special and very important in your life.

You should try it once and see how much your partner gets happy!

Avoid making assumptions

When partners get to know about each other, they tend to assume the reaction of another person. It makes the relationship complicated.

Don’t assume! Instead, you should ask what they mean by their actions. Stop making assumptions for anything and everything. Be open to discussion on random topics.

Conclusion

A happy relationship works when you both agree with these facts about the relationship. Make your partner your friend for life, and conquer the world together.

Life is meant to be happy when you both decided to be together. No matter how hard the situation becomes, you need to stick to each other and enjoy the rollercoaster ride.

This is the true essence of a long-lasting relationship!

Also watch:

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The Abcs I’d Sing Before Dating: Things to Do While Single

The Abcs I’d Sing Before Dating Things to Do While Single

Dear passionate, curious and romance-loving little lady,

So many lessons on love and fun activities for singles are coming your way!

Before going into learning the highs and lows of dating, courting, wedding dress shopping, and all the hiccups and hurrahs along the way, it would be wise for you to listen carefully to all the wondrous things to do while single.

Things you should do before getting in a relationship; fascinating things you could do before investing so much time!

Accepting yourself and someone else into your life can be a powerful reflection of how Jesus accepts us.

Believe that you are worth it. You are priceless and valued.

Continue to develop your individuality in Christ no matter when the deal is sealed.

Decide what your values are and how to uphold them across situations.

Things for singles to do

Exercise vigorously to keep stress at bay and stretch routinely.

Focus on developing your character, family unit, and career.

Go! Visit that country that’s on your bucket list

Hugs! You need another hug and to go give a hug to someone.

Interview women who have been in abusive relationships, whether it was emotional, spiritual, or physical and learn what the red flags were.

Juggle your busy schedule with a pretty planner.

Kick out toxic habits and make healthy boundaries. Laugh your heart out exploring the art of comedy.

Map out how you are going to work through overcoming the dysfunction in your life so you don’t bring that into a relationship.

No is often a wise word that is fair game to use when asked out on a date or for your phone number.

Open your perspective up to God’s timing.

Enjoying being single

Pick up that hobby.

Quiet down your racing thoughts and go take a bath soaking in Epsom salt. Read that book in the Bible and all the others surrounding it.

Say yes to that mission trip!

Take the advice of those in healthy relationships.

Understand that it takes two to tango. Use your love for dance to make a smooth melody of grace and love in the home.

Vent your frustrations to the Lord, do some burpees, and work out your fears with a counselor. Write down the pros and cons of your choices and objectively determine your course of action.

Your number one love language is physical touch and then words of affirmation. Make sure to learn your partner’s!

Yesterday had a lot going on. You get to decide how to respond today!

Zip a Dee Doo Dah now go pray…

In His Joys,

Hannah Elise Abbott, M.S., CCC-SLP

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Tips to Maintain Intimacy in a Marriage With a Newborn

Tips to Maintain Intimacy in a Marriage With a Newborn

Congratulations, it’s a girl! Adding a new edition to the family can be quite exciting. There will be so much to do like picking out names, colors for the nursery and let’s not forget the baby shower.

There will be great times of dreaming together about what that day will feel like when you two become parents and share a human together.

Not to mention the nervous feelings of wondering if you will be enough and if you are cut out for the job.

There are so many opportunities to strengthen a relationship between a married couple within the nine to ten months that it takes to bake a bundle of joy.

Not to mention the joy that it can bring to a family when that bundle of joy graces the Earth. But it does come with its own set of challenges.

It can be quite difficult to try the same activities and lifestyle with a new baby but, not to worry! Marriage after baby can entail some serious challenges, including relationship changes after baby, and a dip in romance after baby. So, this begs the question, how to spice up your marriage after a baby?

Take my advice on how to keep a relationship strong after having a baby, do not I repeat do not try to fit your baby into your schedule it will cause tons of headaches, and disappointments. Instead, fully embrace the change.

It will be fun, trust me!

Marriage after baby is an opportunity to create new hobbies, habits, and hangout spots together.

Do not believe the rumors centring the subject of marriage after baby, intimacy can exist with a newborn, but it will take some work on your end.

In this article on marriage after baby , we will discuss how to go about maintaining that intimacy despite your circumstances.

How to keep a relationship strong after having a baby

1. Using the baby’s nap time wisely

Contrary to popular belief surrounding marriage after baby, I do not recommend always sleeping while the baby is sleeping.

Obviously, there will be times that you will but, that does not have to always be the case. There will be times that you get a good night’s rest. Those days are the days that I recommend using that time to cuddle on the couch with your spouse during baby’s nap time.

Catch a quick tv show or movie, or just have a cup of coffee and catch up on what’s new and old. This is the time that you must learn the patterns of your baby’s sleep schedule so that you can plan and figure out what you want to do in those brief moments.

Trust me, those moments in marriage after baby will be brief but when that is expected it is not so bad. Think of these brief-time slots as opportunities for cute little mini-dates.

Remember that perception is everything if you perceive something to be bad that is exactly what it will look like, feel like, and be but if you view something as fresh, fun, and new, then that is exactly what it will look like, feel like and be.

Once you get a predictable schedule, things will get easier for you and your spouse in the challenging scenario of marriage after baby.

Getting yourself on a schedule is a great way to ensure that everything that is important to you is getting done. Prepare yourself for the surprises, missed windows and imperfect days, and train yourself to be okay with those things.

Coming from personal experience of marriage after baby, I can say that for my husband and me, it took teamwork, there were times that he would remind me to use the baby’s nap time wisely and there would be times that I would remind him.

Regardless of who reminded who we got that time together and it made a world of difference.

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2. Bring the baby along

The next tip on marriage after baby that I would recommend for ways to keep the flame alive in a marriage with a newborn is to bring the baby with you on little outings.

As new parents, my husband and I did not feel comfortable leaving our little guy with a sitter. He was breastfed and we still had new parent anxiety. But that never stopped us from spending that much-needed quality time together which, by the way, if you did not know is a key component of true intimacy.

I would even argue that it is one of the reasons why my son does so well in cars now because he was in one often. Rather it be a night out to dinner or even a weekend vacation it is very much possible to enjoy each other with the baby.

Now, this will take some thinking ahead and planning.

There is nothing like being at a nice restaurant and you’ve forgotten the baby’s binky and all you and the entire restaurant can hear is a baby wailing and screaming. It can be embarrassing and nerve-wracking.

My advice to you is very simple on marriage after baby.

Plan for the worst, my friends would joke that I always pack like I am going on a voyage when I was only going out for a few hours but,  it is very necessary to anticipate the unexpected that way when it happens, you my friend have a quick solution and it does not cause too much disruption to your spouse or others around you.

The peace of mind that you have when everything that is important to you is at your fingertips is unsurmountable, try it.

3. Understanding is key

Understanding is key

The last tip that I have for a couple, in a marriage after baby is to understand the circumstances and roles that both of you must play.

Having a new addition to the family can be taxing on everyone so there has to be some compassion, including self-compassion, and understanding along with all these action steps.

Understanding adds to communication between husband and wife which kindles the fire of intimacy for sure. I’ve seen different scenarios of the caretaking of a baby.

A wife or a husband can be the primary caretaker, both are equally possible so, in efforts to eliminate confusion, I will use my own marriage as an example.

When we brought my son and daughter home from the hospital, I stayed home with them and was very exhausted. My husband went to work, and he came home very exhausted. We both understood that both roles are important, and no one played the “I work harder than you” card.

This allowed us to be each other’s haven and escape from stress and exhaustion.

A very important component of intimacy in marriage after baby is the physical aspect of it. It may be a hard transition, but it is necessary to fight to keep that part of the marriage very relevant and frequent.

After all, it is a huge stress reliever and a must to maintain a strong connection.  Before the kids, we would make love at night but we both understood that if we ever wanted to get physical it would have to be spontaneous because that is what the situation allowed.

Again, an understanding was the glue that held us together in this temporary season of our lives.

Children become adults but a marriage lasts a lot longer than childhood does. It is imperative to understand that and live your lives together as a family accordingly.

A final word on marriage after baby

I am sure that these steps will not be the easiest to implement but trust me, it is much better to attack a situation with a plan than going at it half-heartedly.

Acting and implementing these tips will be worth the effort because intimacy is something that is worth fighting for.

Don’t beat yourself up, there will be times that you feel too tired to try to do anything but the bare minimum and that is okay. It is all a part of the journey.

Remember that understanding will take you a very long way and I am speaking from experience as a wife and mom of two children under four.

Yes, frustration crept in.

No, I didn’t always feel “in the mood” but, I pushed through those feelings because I realized that all the pressure that I was feeling was temporary. So, what about you? Will you push past whatever barriers are hindering you? Will you maintain intimacy in your marriage even, with a newborn?

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War Robots

War Robots Normally, I do not write about videogames like War Robots, but today is an exception. Now, it is

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8 Wedding Venue Questions You Should Be Asking

8 Wedding Venue Questions You Should Be Asking

When you start your search for the perfect venue you have many factors to consider. It’s not that easy to walk in and just find the place of your dreams. You have to know what items to look for in the contract and what questions to ask.

Since most couples have not done this before, the contracts and the whole process can seem overwhelming and daunting.

You and your fiancé likely have a picture in your head of how you want the day to look and feel, and the venue is a significant part of the puzzle to get right.

However, sometimes the place that looks the way you imagined may not check some very key boxes on the wedding venue checklist that matter in how both the day of and entire wedding planning process flow.

In an effort to save you some time and energy during this overwhelming time, here is a little wedding venue questions checklist for young couples, with a list of important questions to ask the wedding venue.

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1. Do you have my desired date available?

The first and most obvious question from the list of questions to ask the wedding venue is to find out if the wedding venue is even available.

Many couples have a specific date in mind. If you do, you need to make sure that they are available on that date. If you are more flexible about what date you get married, then ask about what their availability is in your desired time range.

2. Are you in my price range?

It doesn’t matter how much you love a venue if they aren’t in your price range.

Be realistic about your budget and account for all the various areas that are going to require your financial consideration as well, it’s better to come in a little under your price range and have room for incidentals.

You also want to find out about the venue’s payment schedule, how much the deposit is, what’s included in your package, etc.

3. Do you have a list of approved/required/suggested vendors?

You need to know first whether you want to bring your own vendors in or use ones provided by a venue. If you want to use outside vendors, you then need to find out what that venue’s policy is about that.

You’ll want to especially ask about catering, if they have an in-house caterer, etc. If you can bring in your own vendors, do they charge extra fees for this? Plus, a displacement fee for NOT using their vendors

4. What is the venue’s capacity?

What is the venue’s capacity?

Another important thing to ask the wedding venue is the total capacity of the place.

You’ll want to also make sure to find out how many people can fit with a band versus a DJ because the numbers may differ.

Venue capacity is a big factor to consider depending on the number of guests you are likely going to invite, so it’s best to ensure they can all be accommodated comfortably.

5. What happens if it rains?

If your wedding is outdoors, you’ll want to know what their plain is for bad weather. The rain option is the most important aspect of a venue. Where will it take place?

When do you make the rain call? What happens if it rains during the ceremony and you’re outside? Do they have umbrellas on standby?

6. Who will be our main contact as we plan our wedding

It’s good to know if the person who helps you with the planning will also be involved day-of. Even see if you can meet them before you book, most venues will have that option available if you ask.

Being involved and proactive with your contact person at the venue will help you and your wedding team rest easy knowing everyone’s on the same page and in communication.

7. May I bring in my own rentals?

When you see the venue, can you bring in your own linens and chairs? If you bring in your own chairs, will they charge you a storage fee? This sometimes can be more costly than the chairs themselves, so be in the know.

If you bring in your own linens, will they actually place them down for you or do you or your planner have to actually physically place down the linens? This can be time-consuming.

 What if the linens are wrinkled, can we get them pressed? Most will allow you to steam them but the will not assist you.

8. What is the end time sound ordinance?

Many people love to continue the celebrations, however, you may have restrictions. Ask about the end time and the hour allowed.

You will be surprised to know that MOST parties have to end music by 11 PM – and sometimes couples are not okay with that. So what are your after-party options?

 In the end, never assume and make sure that ALL that is verbally promised is physically written down. Always keep a paper trail of the conversations to use as a back up in case management changes and your original contact person has left the property.

 Always hire a planner who acts as your advocate and knows the questions to ask. Knowledge is power and a great planner should have the knowledge needed to ask the venues the RIGHT questions.

When this is the first time a couple is planning a wedding, they need a strong, knowledgeable advocate in their court.

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Wednesday 25 December 2019

How to Handle Finances Together and Improve Financial Communication in a Relationship

How to Handle Finances Together and Improve Financial Communication in a Relationship

In our society, talking about money is often considered taboo. However, in a relationship as intimate as romantic partnerships, failing to have a discussion about money can be a dealbreaker.

Whether you are going to be married soon, a newlywed couple, or have been in a relationship for years, it’s important to talk to your partner about finances.

Money issues can make or break a relationship. So, how to manage your finances as a couple?

You should both be on the same page about how to handle both windfalls and lean times. Continue reading to explore four of the best reasons every couple needs to talk about money and how to deal with money issues in a relationship.

1. Ensure financial stability

Relationships are challenging enough on their own before finances come into play. That begs the question, how to talk about money with your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse?

In order for two people to build a life together, they need to discuss who will be the main provider for their family, how they will respond to emergency situations and any other details that contribute to financial stability.

Failing to discuss any of these topics will cause further trouble for a couple as ignoring these details and the issues that come along with them may ultimately lead to the couple’s downfall.

It’s easy for people to not want to think about money and hope things all work out, but taking the time to talk about your plans and goals with your partner will help both of you feel more confident and secure in your shared future.

Make sure than both of you are comfortable with your plans.

It can be difficult when one is shouldering the burden of providing or when one partner feels they’re the only ones attempting to save.

On the subject of how to manage finances as a couple, speak to each other to ensure the stability of both your finances and your relationship.

2. Decide how finances are shared

In a couple, two partners agree to share their love and lives with each other.

In this type of relationship, both partners need to discuss basic details like who is responsible for paying for living expenses like rent, food, and insurance, in addition to other important decisions like whether they should apply for same-day instant cash loans to cover the costs of big-ticket items.

How you save, take out loans, or apply for funding are all important things to be discussed between you.

While many couples choose to share their money in some way, these types of decisions need to be discussed by both partners beforehand.

To handle finances together, never assume you are on the same page without talking things through. That also answers the question, “how to talk about money in a relationship”

3. Avoid fights about money

Avoid fights about money

Fighting over money is more often than not the reason that many love relationships disintegrate. So,  how to handle finances together?

Couples that never talk to each other about something as essential as money will find themselves lashing out over misunderstandings, speaking from their own financial insecurities, and arguing because of uncertainties about the future.

Though broaching the topic of finances isn’t always an easy decision to make, it may be the very thing that saves your relationship.

Talk about finances when you are both in a good mood and don’t make accusations.

Remember that it is okay to seek counseling and therapy together, and not at all a sign of a bad relationship. There is no shame in seeking mediation or help so that you can handle these discussions.

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4. Build a better future together

Talking about money makes it easier for couples to be honest with one another.

How should married couples handle finances?

Rather than hide something like extra income or mountains of credit card or debt, couples that have the “finance” talk with each other are able to be transparent about anything and everything related to money.

Whether they go through a financially challenging situation or they are working together to reach certain milestones, being on the same page financially will help to strengthen their relationship.

Honesty and respect are the two foundations of any good relationship, and they are attributes that are naturally developed when talking about money. That’s a crucial piece of advice on how to handle finances together.

It may be difficult and uncomfortable at first, but by taking the time to talk about finances, you and your partner will be able to build a better future together.

On how to handle finances together, don’t be afraid to broach sensitive subjects, but do so with grace and love.

Many couples may be reluctant to talk about money, as they’re afraid that discussing such topics may lead to future arguments. However, this important talk about finances is the best way to protect their relationship and prepare for the future.

Begin with small talks about saving and future goals, and from there you can begin to have larger discussions about long-term saving accounts, loans, mortgages, and other financial issues.

So,  how to handle finances together if it looks hard and entails misunderstanding?

Even if it seems hard at first, doing so will strengthen your relationship and your love. The more secure your financial future, the less you and your partner will have to worry about what comes next. Once you become nuanced on how to handle finances together, you can focus on what matters most now-each other.

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How to Make Renewing Your Vows as Special as the Wedding

How to Make Renewing Your Vows as Special as the Wedding

There comes a time in every marriage when some romance is in absolute order.

You might want to renew your vows every year – or do so every ten years. Regardless of the time that has elapsed since you first said “I do” to each other, a vow renewal can be the perfect opportunity to get your friends and family together and relive that special day again. However, there is no definite answer to the question of when to renew vows.

If you are considering renewing your vows, but are not yet quite sure about the details, read our guide on making your vow renewal just as special as your wedding day.

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Who should host the ceremony?

As vow renewals are much less “structured” than weddings, you can tailor them to your own preferences as much as you’d like.

When renewing your vows, your hosts can be your children if they are old enough and would like to take on the challenge; your parents, if you have recently gotten married and they would like to add their voice to celebrating your relationship; your best man and maid of honor, if they have had a blast the first time around; or any other friend or family member you would like to include in your special day.

Who should you invite?

Some couples choose to host an intimate renewal ceremony, especially if they’ve had a huge wedding.

This gives them the time and space to focus on each other and their closest guests, as opposed to mingling with everyone.

On the other hand, those who’ve had small weddings like to take it up a notch and host a larger soirée for their renewal, especially if they couldn’t afford the big wedding they wanted at the time. You can extend wedding vow renewal invitations as per your discretion.

The choice is entirely up to you: consider the costs, and tailor your guest list accordingly.

Where should you host it?

A place of worship, a beach, a restaurant – you can choose any location for renewing your vows you’d like (that fits into your budget, of course).

You can choose to echo the atmosphere of your wedding and hold it in the same or a similar location, keeping to the original theme.

On the other hand, you can now craft the wedding you never had and incorporate all those elements you dismissed the first time around.

Make sure that the theme you go for and the location you choose speak of who you have become as a couple. After all, the day is all about celebrating your relationship, and the location and mood should reflect that.

If the weather permits it, you can take your wedding outside, and enjoy a day in the sun with your guests and each other.

Make sure you also incorporate a photographer into your special day – while this is not the actual wedding, you still want to have plenty of photos to frame.

What should you wear?

What should you wear

The simplest answer would be your original wedding dress and suit. 

If they don’t quite fit, you can find a way to work them into a new outfit. Stick to the original tie with a new suit, use some of the original materials to create a new dress, etc.

Of course, you can go for a completely new ensemble, but make sure you do dress up for the special occasion of renewing your vows. 

It doesn’t have to be as formal as the first time, but make sure you wear the outfit for the first time on the day, as opposed to reaching for a dress you’ve already worn to a different occasion.

Should you write your own vows?

While weddings can come with pre-scripted vows, renewal ceremonies don’t, and this is your chance to put to paper some of your feelings.

While it can be very difficult to write your own vows, remember that they don’t need to be formal and serious when it comes to renewing your vows.

They can be lighthearted and even silly, just as long as they tell your partner and the world how happy you are to be with them on this day.

Think about all the things that make your marriage special, and write about them – something as simple as thanking your partner for making the best cup of hot chocolate on Christmas morning can be a very intimate and personal touch.

Should you get new rings?

The ceremony for renewing your vows itself will require you to exchange rings again.

These can be your original bands, perhaps with an added engraving to mark your renewal ceremony, or you can add a new band to your original stack if you want to. 

The choice of vow renewal rings is entirely up to you.

Who officiates at the ceremony?

Since a vow renewal is not legally binding, anyone can officiate during the ceremony.

You can choose your minister or priest; it can be your rabbi or someone from the local registry office, but it can also be a friend or a family member who has made an impact on your marriage and whom you would like to include in the ceremony of renewing your vows.

Since you can write your own script, you can take this time to personalize the experience as much as you’d like, and make it entirely your own.

That also answers the question, how to renew vows.

A wedding vow renewal can be an excellent way to share your love with friends and family, gather everyone you love, and simply have a wonderful day together. 

The details of the ceremony are entirely up to you, and you can make it as formal or relaxed as you’d like it to.

Remember to make it personal and specific to your relationship, and most importantly: enjoy the day and the love you have for each other.

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