Saturday 30 June 2018

Your Inner Kid: Fun Ways to Practice Playful Mindfulness this Summer

Most kids have it down when it comes to being in the moment.  They live for the now and get fully absorbed in their activities.  Without the burden of responsibilities they master the art of play, wonderment and mindful attention.

Adults can benefit from getting in touch with the playful parts of their inner children.  It’s a great stress reliever and break from “to-do” lists.  With summer in full swing, you have an opportunity to see the world through the eyes of your inner kid in a playful and mindful way.  Take a break from the seriousness of life and your responsibilities.  It’s ok…really.

Here are some fun ways for you practice playful mindfulness this summer:

  • Lay in the grass.  Notice the feel of the blades against your skin.  Close your eyes and breathe in the smells of nature around you.
  • Collect shells.  Stroll along the shoreline with a bucket and on a mission to find the most unique, beautiful items from the ocean you can find.  Notice their colors, textures and edges.  Consider an art project you might create with your discoveries.
  • Blow on a dandelion.  Marvel at the delicate spores as they lift up in flight.  Make a wish.
  • Run into the ocean.  Don’t stroll all mature-like…RUN!  Fling yourself into the waves.  Notice the water against your skin.  If you’ve done this fully clothed, feel the weight of the water-logged fabric. Taste the salt water.  Float on your back.
  • Play hide and seek.  Shriek, giggle and run as you and your willing partner in play count down from 10 and hide from each other.
  • Skip rocks.  If you are near a creek that has any water in it, find round and smooth rocks or pebbles and try skipping them across the water surface.  See how many skips you can get.  Notice what the rocks feel like in  your hands.  Listen to the various splashing sounds different sizes can make.

There are many ways to get in touch with your inner kid that aren’t on the list above.  Do what resonates with you and is accessible in your environment.  Let loose and find moments to really take in the sights, sounds, textures and tastes of summer.

Play.

Be.



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When your relationship differences collide–Here’s what to do…

What do you do when your relationship differences collide and you’re stuck at an impasse? If there’s one thing that’s been the secret for the two of us keeping our love alive and growing over the years, it’s this… We’ve learned (and are continuing to re-learn) that each of us sees the world differently–and THAT’S... [Read More]

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Saudi Arabian Woman Celebrates Driving In Rap Video

Saudi Arabian Woman Celebrates Driving In Rap Video

Hellll yeah! This Saudi Arabian woman was waiting her WHOLE LIFE to bust this rhyme and she did it after women were given the freedom to drive in their country! We salute you! First your drivers license and NEXT LOVING FEMALE LED RELATIONSHIPS for ALL WOMEN! Hellll yeah! This Saudi Arabian woman was waiting her
+ Read More

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Friday 29 June 2018

22 Ways Happy People Get Their Groove On

What are happy people up to?  What do they do that others don’t?  Happiness is not a “one size fits all” but there are a number of things you can work into your life to increase positive emotions and good vibes in your quest for happiness.  Research has given us a solid roadmap to follow so pick what resonates with you from the list below and get moving!

22 Ways Happy People Get Their Groove On

  1. They spend time with people who are reinforcing, reciprocal and generally positive but are also compassionate and loyal when they are struggling.
  2. They stay aware of their emotional health; checking in on their mood states and practicing self compassion when needed.
  3. They recognize their negativity biases and counteract by savoring positive experiences for at least 10 seconds to allow the transfer from short-term to long-term memory.
  4. They do activities they are passionate about or even achieve a state of flow while doing them.
  5. They are attuned to themselves and others.
  6. They avoid over-thinking and social comparison.
  7. They express gratitude freely and openly as studies support it’s strong ties to greater happiness.
  8. They meditate, building an awareness of their inner state and physical body while building resilience and distress tolerance.
  9. They take care of their physical bodies; nutrition, sleep and exercise.
  10. They think positively but also realistically.
  11. They dream, imagine and set goals for the future as this has been shown to create meaning and purpose.
  12. They enjoy helping people in the many ways that exist; interpersonal relationships, volunteering, donating or being a helping professional.
  13. They know that they alone are responsible for their feelings regardless of how other’s actions might be a catalyst.
  14. They have good coping skills for the tough times and support to help get through.
  15. They practice forgiveness when necessary as research has shown that unforgiving people tend to be hateful, angry and hostile.
  16. They set good boundaries, knowing the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness.
  17. They are aware of their own vulnerabilities and actively work on them.
  18. They spend time in nature as studies have shown this reduces stress.
  19. They have at least one confidante who knows them inside and out.
  20. They outer life and inner life is in alignment; they live authentically rather than wear social masks to adapt to how they believe people want to see them.
  21. They are adept at finding the good in people and situations, if possible.
  22. They have done any needed personal work around family of origin wounds, traumas or other historical pain points.


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Increase traffic by promoting your blog

Increase traffic by promoting your blog or website A free way to increase traffic is to promote it in different social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Quora, Twitter, Pinterest etc. and also be active in forums in your niche. The good thing about it, that it is free and it works almost instantly. Besides your … Increase traffic by promoting your blog weiterlesen

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Thursday 28 June 2018

Love Doesn’t Make Bad Relationships, Insecurities Do

Love Doesn’t Make Bad Relationships, Insecurities Do appeared first on Relationships Reality and was authored by Sarah Adelle and Sophia Elise

Love doesn’t make bad relationships, insecurities do. You may not have started out insecure in your relationship, but more often than not that is the reason your relationship has turned into a complete mess. Stop using love as an excuse. Loving someone else is no excuse for letting them treat you badly, and allowing someone to treat you badly.

Love starts with you. You have to love yourself first in order to create a loving relationship with someone else. It hurts when someone you feel love towards treats you horribly. It is time you give your love to someone else instead of continuing to pour it on someone who only uses it against you. At a certain point what you are chasing isn’t really love. You are chasing someone who doesn’t love you and trying to change their feelings for you. You can blame it on your love for them that won’t let you leave a one-sided relationship like this.

Love Doesn't Make Bad Relationships, Insecurities Do

Love Doesn’t Make Bad Relationships, Insecurities Do

But is it really about you loving them so much or your commitment to chasing the wrong person for you? Love is not something that you can force, no matter how well you treat them. They either love you or they don’t. But some people feel it is just a matter of time, and that if they just keep up being loving some day the object of their affection will feel the same way. Wrong. Doesn’t work that way.

So how did your relationship get so bad? Look back on its progression. How many times did the one you profess to love do something or say something out of line? THAT was your chance to make the relationship better. Did your fear of losing them (which stems from insecurity) keep you from doing what you needed to do? Insecurities can make us feel that if we hold someone we love to a high standard they will leave. So, we lower our standards.

How can we not expect a sub-standard relationship if we keep doing that? That is all you can expect, and why relationships with problems that are not properly addressed get worse and worse. You can claim all the things you do and put up with are because you love someone so much. You are only lying to yourself. It isn’t love that is causing you to behave that way, it is your insecurities.

You want to act weak, then be prepared to have weaknesses in your relationship. It may sound romantic to say love makes you weak, when it truth real love makes you strong as hell. Real love between two people can created a healthy relationship with a strong foundation. Relationships riddled with insecurities have no foundation to build upon. They are rocky, tumultuous, and are destined to crumble.

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Wednesday 27 June 2018

5 Easy Ways to Build an Unbreakable Bond with Your Child

5 Easy Ways to Build an Unbreakable Bond with Your Child

Once your child comes of age for school, we as a parent get a little eased up on our responsibilities. We begin to give more attention to other things in life such as work and social activities. What we don’t realize is that we are creating a distance between our children and ourselves.

Often our marital problems cause our children to get distant from us. Happy married life is the key to holding the family together and building a good environment for children. There are more ways through which you can build an unbreakable bond with your child.

If you find it hard to take time out for your child, fret not! Here are some quick and effective tips for you to connect and bond with your little one:

1. Bedtime reading

Make sure you and your partner spend at least 10 minutes with your child before you go to your own room. Sit or cuddle the child while your partner reads a bedtime story to the little one. Doing so every night does not only help develop a connection but also improves your child’s language and helps him learn.

2. Make weekends special

Spending the weekend in a special manner with your child can improve the bond and overall family atmosphere. It is okay if you want to spend the weekend at home.

You can play games with your child at home, prepare a fancy meal or keep a trampoline at home for such weekends. You can also take them out for ice-cream after dinner.

Spending more time together means more talking, more cuddles, more eye-contact and ultimately more comfortable.

Spending the weekend in a special manner with your child can improve the bond

3. Be a good listener

Being a good listener and just hearing your kids out are two different things. We are often in a hurry or too busy to listen to our kids actively. Even if we hear them out, we do not respond to our child in a way that comforts him.

Start listening to your child actively. It will give them the assurance that you are there for them and also the confidence to open up to you.

4. Ask for their hand in chores

By asking for your child’s hand in chores, you give them a message that you count on them. It helps improve the bond greatly when you communicate and work in synchronization with your little one.

You can ask for their suggestions in table-setting and meal preparation. It will boost their self-confidence and the capability to make decisions.

By asking for your child’s hand in chores, you give them a message that you count on them

5. Take a walk with them

Walking with your little one outside is the best way to relax and connect with your child. Make them your partner in morning walks. The environmental change, fresh air and nature help relax the tensed muscles and you are able to talk more comfortably with the other person.

Share your childhood stories with them and ask them about their friends without sounding too inquisitive. It also helps you to keep a track of their activities and to guide them in the right direction.

Walking with your little one outside is the best way to relax and connect with your child

Wrapping up

Making such small efforts for your child’s happiness can bring him closer to both you and your spouse.

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5 Things To Consider When Planning A Small Wedding

5 Things To Consider When Planning A Small Wedding

Small weddings mean different things to different people.  A guest list of 150 may be considered as an exercise in restraint by one couple, whilst another couple’s perception of an intimate affair may be to limit the number of invitees to 40 of their closest friends and family.  

Whatever your vision is for your special celebration, you may be interested in these 5 tips for planning a small wedding:

1. Be prepared for reactions

If you’re planning a small wedding, you’re likely to have had to make some tough decisions about your invite list.  Not everyone perceives friendships and relationships, in the same way, so you may get some strong and unexpected reactions to your plans if people feel they have been unfairly excluded. There may be negative responses, some people may be upset or even angry, but it’s important to remember that this is your day.  

2. Focus on the things that you will remember most

Many married couples will admit to having some things at their wedding that really didn’t matter at all.  The choice of flowers may have stressed them out for ages or the colour of the serviettes may have caused sleepless nights.  It may have been the selection of wines or the bride’s shoes that caused months of angst – yet in hindsight, none of these things really mattered all that much.  

Remember, the occasion is about your experience as well as sharing your special day, so you need to find a balance between these two things.  Focus on the things that the two of you will remember and cherish and try not to worry too much about the things you think other people want.  

Think of it this way – your guests probably won’t remember what they ate at your wedding, but you will definitely want to remember your special day with quality photographs and videos, so prioritise where you invest your time and effort.

 Focus on the things that the two of you will remember and cherish

3. Pay attention to the details

Small does not necessarily mean simple, but it does mean that every little detail counts.  It can actually be harder to successfully host an intimate gathering than a bigger event where little glitches or oversights can go unnoticed amongst the masses, so go through every little thing in detail.  

A smaller wedding also creates opportunities to involve your guests a bit more, so you may want to consider things like getting everyone to write a comment on a tablecloth as a fun memento for the future or record a video message.  It’s virtually impossible to do intimate things like this when you have hundreds of guests as they take too much time and effort to organise and manage.

4. Spoil your guests

A smaller wedding may provide opportunities to spoil your guests with some special ‘extras’ which could be anything from personalised ‘thank you’ gifts, unique transport options, a live band or some other form of entertainment.   You may even want a wedding ‘weekend’ with just a few guests where you get to spend quality time with your nearest and dearest.

A smaller wedding may provide opportunities to spoil your guests with some special ‘extras’

5. Choose your venue carefully

The Bell Tower is one of the top attractions in Perth

It can be a bit of a challenge to find a wedding venue that complements and enhances the intimacy of a smaller gathering.  Some of the traditional venues like hotels, conference centres, community or sports halls and wineries may be more suitable to larger, lavish affairs and you may want to consider some of the more unusual places to hold your nuptials.  

Some ideas include someone’s beautiful garden, a restaurant, historic inn, heritage building, a boat or barge or even an art gallery.  Iconic landmarks like The Bell Tower in Perth are also highly sought-after as wedding venues, providing a dramatic and beautiful backdrop for the function itself and for the photographic memories too.  

The Bell Tower is one of the top attractions in Perth and with its sweeping Swan River and city views, manicured lawns, beautiful gardens, world-class function rooms and professional events team, it’s an elegant and unique venue choice for intimate wedding ceremonies and receptions.  

Final thought

Others’ opinions should be valued and considered, but don’t let negative feedback cloud your event or bring you down.  Rather approach things in a mature, honest way and be upfront to everyone about your desire to have a small event and how difficult it was to keep numbers down. True friends will stay loyal and those on the fringe will drift away.

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6 Crucial Tips – When You Fall in Love With Your Opposite

6 Crucial Tips – When You Fall in Love With Your Opposite

We can’t choose who we fall in love with. As a result, you may find yourself deeply in love with someone who, for all intents and purposes, is essentially your complete opposite. They do say that opposites attract, but it can be difficult finding the equilibrium you need to maintain a fun and healthy relationship.

Here are a few tips on how you can try and ensure everything goes smoothly:

1. Have your own groups that suit your own temperaments

Try and ensure that, as well as sharing friendship groups, you also have your own groups that suit your own temperaments. If you love going out and drinking, but your partner is more keen on staying in or going to a play, the pressure can make things uncomfortable. If you can both respect each other’s moods, and the fact that you may not always have the same idea of a great time, it will be a lot easier for you to both maintain healthy social lives.

2. Set boundaries

Make sure that you both know where you stand regarding boundaries and what is and isn’t ok. If one of you can’t stand to be away from the other, and the other is keen on some alone time, you’re heading for something of a standoff. If you don’t maintain proper, honest communication throughout your relationship, you’re unlikely to be able to keep things on an even keel for a long time.

If you don’t maintain honest communication throughout your relationship, you’re unlikely to be able to keep things on an even keel

3. Don’t assume they need your help to change as a person

Even if you feel your partner is the complete difference in everything you are, don’t expect to be able to change them. People generally loathe to change without a very good reason, and by putting pressure on, you’re distorting the balance of the relationship. Learn to become more tolerant of their foibles, rather than forcing your own personality on them.

4. Bear in mind that you might both have different tolerance levels

Bear in mind that you might both have different tolerance levels for being around groups of people, or strangers. Dragging an introvert along to a big party full of people you barely know is bound to end in tears. It can also be easy to get the wrong message if your partner avoids coming out with you for the sake of avoiding unwelcome social interactions.

Bear in mind that you might both have different tolerance levels

5. Communication is essential for any relationship

By sharing both your expectations with each other, you can both ensure that you aren’t set up for any nasty surprises in the future. It’s easy to assume, silently, that your partner wants the same things out of a relationship as you do. However, this can easily go wrong. By talking about the future, you can make sure that neither of you ends up disappointed.

6. Be wary of forcing an introvert into becoming an extrovert

You may think that you’re opening up a whole world of wonderful social interactions. In reality, many introverts are just as easy to talk to as extroverts. They just do it away from groups, when extroverts aren’t in the room.

Be wary of forcing an introvert into becoming an extrovert

Final thoughts

It’s crucial that you both acknowledge your differences from the start. You can’t simply keep trying to find aspects of yourself in the other person, as evidence that you’re both basically the same. While we may all share certain traits, the vanity of convincing someone else they’re just like you really is not worth it. These are a few tips, but ultimately you’re on your own.

No relationship is easy, at least not after a certain point. But with plenty of honesty and enough communication, you can definitely ensure things go as well as possible.

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“He had an affair with my best friend”

This has to be the hardest of all affairs to come to terms with.  In the process of losing a partner you lose a friend.  A whole social circle are left wondering what they do.  Sadly it’s not uncommon.  When we know that most affairs start as opposite sex friendships and we consider the gender mix of our social circles, you can see how this is not a rare occurrence.  There is, of course, a very strong moral line that is crossed here and that hasn’t escaped most of our clients, but they commonly agree the pull was too strong.  We’re here to help them understand why.

Andy* explains “I’m not sure how or why I did it or indeed what I was actually thinking.  I love my wife, my kids, my life.  My wife’s best friend has always been good fun, attractive and my wife and I have always enjoyed spending time with her and her husband on holidays, weekends and nights out.  We’ve always talked a lot and I’ve always flirted a bit in jest.  I got excited about our conversations and it made me more and more attracted to her.  I knew there was something between us and I put it to one side for over two years.  But when she said a few things to me that made me think she was attracted too, I really struggled to stop myself.  One kiss wouldn’t hurt.  But of course it was more than that.  We were secretly seeing each other for over a year when we  were found out, really sadly, by her teenage daughter.  The fall out has been horrific and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone”

 “But we were friends”

It was very sad to see Lisa Armstrong going through this pain as she heard about Ant McPartlin moving on with someone she considered a friend, through social media.  Even if a marriage is in difficulty it’s very hard to see an ex with someone you trusted as a friend  As Lisa implied, you invited them into your home, fed them and may even feel that you somehow pushed your spouse into a relationship with them.  It’s not about the food you made or the drinks you shared but the time and effort you entrusted to this relationship.

Lisa talks about the “girl code”.  She implies it’s just not what girls do to each other.  But sadly it can be.  Just as we’re seeing girls “troll” each other on social media about they way they look, girls can be as equally ruthless in love.  Just last night on Love Island, Megan stabbed a supposed “friend” in the back without any remorse.

Whether it’s your childhood friend, school mum buddy, nanny, cleaner or work colleague, the pain is still magnified when someone you trusted hurts you in this way.

When does it become an affair?

As we heard from Andy above, these affairs brew over a long period of time.  Connections are made and feelings grow.  But when is the line actually crossed?  Does it have to be a physical act to constitute an affair?  Not necessarily.

Relationships are more than sex.  Confiding in someone, feeling vulnerable with them , relying on them, are all essential elements to any relationship.  Mimicking these non-physical sides to a relationship with someone else constitutes an emotional affair.  The problem is these non-physical affairs are harder to quantify or challenge.  When is a good friendship something more?

Generally women will engage more in emotional cheating and men physical cheating and interestingly each will find the opposite harder to forgive.  Men really struggle with a physical cheat and women with an emotional one.  Men can’t deal with a woman being more physically attracted  to another man and women know the investment in an emotional connection so find it harder to forgive.  People are always surprised to hear that from the clients we see, emotional cheating is generally harder to come back from than physical but because it has built up over time and a lot more has been invested into it, the connection is harder to pull away from.

“Should I be worried?”

Shelley* came to see us a few weeks ago.  She wonders if she is being silly even suspecting her husband of 7 years, but she wanted to talk it through.  Her husband and her best friend have run together most weeks for the past year. They both really enjoy it and at first she liked the fact that they got on so well and she’s never liked running so it was nice Steve* can run with someone they both know.  But now she’s worried.  Steve has become distant with her.  He doesn’t want to talk about everyday things anymore.  The only time he seems properly happy is before and after a run with her friend.  

We’ve talked about the endorphins of exercise and it may just be that the relationship is having a tough time and he enjoys the space running provides.  But we have also talked about the danger signs and what to look out for. 

 If you’re getting emotional support and attachment elsewhere you are losing the connection with your partner.  This can make you distant.  For men, this is usually when they are getting a connection elsewhere.  They rarely just become distant.  This isn’t to say Steve is definitely having an affair.  A new emotional connection can even be subconscious, so he may not even know he is using up more emotional energy with Shelley’s friend, even if this is at all the case.  Shelley and I are now working through family patterns and other reasons, very personal to her case, why Steve might becoming more distant and how she can approach this incredibly sensitive subject with him.

“When will I get over it?”

The bad news for Lisa Armstrong is something like this can take years to move on from, if at all.  Losing a partner through a marriage breakdown can be like a bereavement.  When the loss is to a friend it can take even longer to get over. 

Working through all the elements of the break up, the emotions and feelings, can help at every stage of this cycle that people unwillingly find themselves in.  The Affair Clinic counsels and offers therapy to those at any stage, whether it be shock, anger, depression or even acceptance.

*Names changed

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5 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Give Him A Second Chance

5 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Give Him A Second Chance

When you first start a love relationship, you don’t think about all the bad stuff that can happen somewhere along the road. You are on cloud nine and you think that you have found the love of your life. But in most cases, you are wrong because everything that looks good at first is usually not that good. There are guys who will promise you the moon and the stars but they will cheat on you with the first girl they meet.

Raise your standards

And because of those guys, you should raise your standards and never settle for less than you deserve. So, if you think that there is a reason good enough to let him come back to you after a break-up, or an instance of infidelity in marriage, I will have to say that there isn’t. If a guy cheated on you once, he will do it again. As soon as he gets the chance he will jump into someone else’s bed and totally forget about you.

If I still haven’t convinced you, here is a list of the reasons why you should never give a cheater a second chance

1. If he did it once, he will do it again

The thing about exes is that they know all your flaws and they will use them against you. So, if he sees that you forgave him last time he will cheat on you again or will hurt you in any way, thinking that you will forgive him. That’s why you should never give him a second chance. He can’t change overnight and it will take a lot of time before he realizes what he really wants out of his life and the relationship.

If he did it once, he will do it again

2. You don’t have the same outlook on life

Getting back with your ex after a case of infidelity in marriage or relationship can sometimes be nice because you will feel protected and comfortable in his arms again but you will fall at the first hurdle.

You won’t trust him anymore and even if he does something quite small you will latch onto it, blaming him for hurting you. That’s why it is better to stay away from him. It is not good to patch up an old dress and you can imagine what kind of love it would be if it was patched up.

3. You are taking him back just because you are alone

Sometimes people don’t want to be alone so they make the wrong choices. I know so many girls who accepted their exes back because they were sad while they were alone. They were depressed and they thought that it was better being with someone than being alone. But that is not true because a toxic man can ruin your life while you won’t even notice it.

If you already have problems being alone, try to find something that will bring you back on track again but whatever you do, don’t give your ex a second chance, as it will not be a healthy relationship, any more.

 If someone hurt you and he knew that you would get your heart broken, it is time to choose yourself first

4. He is the same piece of shit

The possibility that your ex will change in such a short time is nothing more than a story for kids and if you believe in it, you won’t prevent yourself from hurting. If someone hurt you and he knew that you would get your heart broken, it is time to choose yourself first and let him go.

Building trust in a relationship is easy, but sustaining it is the real deal. If he gets mad and tries to win you back, show him that you are one of those strong women and that you will never let a man control you. After he realizes that you are difficult to handle, he will leave you alone.

5. The past will always haunt you

Even if you give your ex a second chance, the past will always haunt you. Every time he goes out with his friends you will bite your nails, wondering if he is hitting on another girl and if he will cheat on you again. Is that really the kind of life you want to have? Trust me, you deserve someone who will choose you every day or just leave.

Wrapping it up

Your half-baked love is not what you have been waiting for so if that is the only thing he can provide you with, just pass on it. Enough said.

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10 Exotic Ways to Celebrate Your Wedding Anniversary

10 Exotic Ways to Celebrate Your Wedding Anniversary

Love notes filled with words of love and sweet wedding anniversary wishes. Culinary recreations of your favorite date. A night of stargazing. These represent just some of the fun things you can do with your spouse on your wedding anniversary. But you’re not limited to just those. The following list gives you ideas for 10 fun ways to spend your special day. Some of them are nostalgic. Others are tasty. All are romantic and unique. Let the adventure begin!

1. Take a culinary tour back in time

For many couples, the milestones in their relationship have been celebrated over plates of gnocchi, creme brûlée, and shrimp scampi. (Or some other worthy dishes.) If you and your spouse are foodies, why not celebrate your anniversary with a culinary tour back in time? You could choose one meal, in particular, to make together, say from your first date or your wedding day. Or make a sampler meal from each of your most memorable days together.

2. Under the stars

If you have a pickup and live near the mountains, you and yours can spend the night stargazing in the back of your truck. Just pack up a picnic, some chilled wine, some blankets, and your compass. Drive out of town until you’ve reached a point where your stargazing won’t be diminished by the city lights. Roll the bedding out in the back of the truck and lie under a blanket of stars, staring into the heavens.

Under the stars

3. Lovers’ TV

Digital media like burnable DVDs allow you to capture those special moments with your spouse and set them to music. If you have tons of photos from your favorite hikes around the city, shots of your favorite meals in your town’s eateries, or even just pictures of the two of you goofing off at home, assemble them into a home movie for your love and set it to music.

4. Make  something together

Have you ever wanted to try paint-n-sip? Or to throw a pot on a pottery wheel? If you and your spouse are the artsy types, a night creating beautiful art can be a lovely way to commemorate your anniversary. Not only could you make something to keep in your home, but you’ll also create something that expresses your feelings about one another.

Make  something together

5. Create a focal wall

Focal walls typically feature a series of family photographs set against a dramatically painted wall that contrasts in color from the other walls around it. Why not make a focal wall with your spouse for your anniversary? Choose your favorite photos of one another, convert them into black and white with a photo editing program, and hang up gallery style on your new wall.

6. Love notes with a twist

Husbands and wives often send each other love notes to express their deepest feelings for one another. Why not create love notes with a twist by making a romantic crossword puzzle for your spouse? You can find online crossword puzzle makers that allow you to personalize a puzzle just for your beloved.

7. Romantic coupon books

Romantic coupon books give you the opportunity to give of yourself to your spouse. Create one using craft supplies and fill it with promises for gifts like 10 kisses, a massage, or even a night of babysitting so that your spouse can go out with friends.

8. Renew your vows

Your wedding vows created your first anniversary. Why not recreate that special day and share it with family and friends? Saying your vows to one another again is a lovely way to express your deepest feelings to each other.

9. Make matching mugs or t-shirts

Personalized mugs or T-shirts allow you to create your own private romantic swag. To do this, design something that fits you and your spouse’s personalities and have a local company print your design on a T-shirt or mug. Wear the T-shirt to bed or serve coffee in the mug to your spouse in bed on the morning of your wedding anniversary.

10. Go to an escape room

Want to be locked in a room with your spouse for an evening of fun? Then why not try out an escape room adventure? Escape rooms put people in a room or series of rooms for an allotted amount of time. During that time, they have to work together to solve a puzzle before the time is up. The rooms have themes like Harry Potter, ancient Egypt, or outer space. Pick a theme your spouse would love and go play!

Concluding words

Your anniversary gives you the chance to connect with your spouse and to assess how you’re doing as a couple. It’s also a good excuse to just get out and play with your love. The memories that you share on this special day will not only make you look at where you’ve been as a couple but also at where you’re going.

While some couples prefer to do this while they cook together, others do it in the throes of adventure. But no matter how you do it, just know that if you choose to celebrate your anniversary with any one of these activities, you’re in for a memorable time, indeed.

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Save Your Marriage- All It Takes Is a Cup of Coffee!

Save Your Marriage- All It Takes Is a Cup of Coffee

A cup of coffee is like a marriage and the analogy is not irrational. A cup of joe will not be the same every morning and so will be mornings with your soulmate.

The person you love is the same, your bond is intact but what happens when something goes wrong and it won’t ever get fixed? The most awful thing is people get separated for good. And would you believe a cup of coffee can improve your marriage and even save it? Keep reading and you will realize how it works.

Delaying the response

A random sweet thought can become dispute provoking and it may hurt your relationship so badly. Having a discussion over coffee would let you make understand the situation clearly.

Let me tell you my story. On the morning of balmy November, my husband said, “let’s move to the country back forever and raise some alpacas on the farm.” We were sipping our coffee and he just said those words. I could’ve said “Mike, really? Are you out of your mind?” This kind of reaction could’ve been a spark to a wildfire but I said: “ I hear you, my love.” I was shocked to get the idea of his being stressed by something. ‘I hear you’ means ‘I am listening and that doesn’t say I am agreed to what you have said’

That day later I discussed what was going on with him over coffee and I got to know how coffee has saved the day. So, take a deep breath, calm your nerves and just be yourself.

Community

Sometimes a bad day and a wrong choice of words create the whole mess. Occasional and casual meetings over coffee with cousins, friends, or siblings can kill the awful arguments.

Vent out in front of them and if your beloved one has got on your nerves last time.

Sometimes all you need is some listening ears and if you vent out in front of your beloved one then it is going to get only worse for sure. Socializing over coffee is a great way you can avoid big wrong things.

Expressing what you want

There is one more instance when I was with my husband. On a dinner date, he suddenly insisted me to go for a movie on the late-night show. I didn’t want to deny as I too wanted that. But the thing was, I was feeling tired and didn’t want to ruin the date.

I told him: “Mike, I’m feeling tired and want to enjoy our date. I’d need a cup of coffee so that we could stay up till late in the night and enjoy your movie.” Coffee became the savior and you can imagine how it could’ve gone wrong if I simply said ‘No’.

Expressing what you want

Ritual

I and Mike follow a ritual that makes us feel more connected to each other. We never depart for our work before our morning coffee on the same table. I am booked as his coffee companion and the vice versa. This drags us closer and allows us to understand each other better despite our difference of opinion, hectic work schedule and workload.

Coffee has made my marriage a blissful experience and so it can be yours. When in solitude, a cup of coffee and my books make my world surreal and those disputes stay far away from me and Mike.

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Gifting Ideas for Couples for the First 5 Wedding Anniversaries

Gifting Ideas for Couples

Once all the preparations and functions for the wedding are over, and you are officially married, you reminisce this special day in your life each year on your wedding anniversary. With the growing years, every anniversary has a different meaning and gifts associated with it. In the ancient times, gifts were chosen for what they represent, but today there are modern alternatives which are explicitly designed to help couples furnish their lives together. Here are some of the gifts according to all the significant wedding anniversaries for each passing year and the meanings that are associated with the gifts you are giving.

1st Anniversary gift – Something made of paper

Weddings are an expensive affair, with all the decorations and celebrations. So, whoever devised the concept of anniversaries had probably figured out that the happy couple might still be struggling hard with the expenses of their wedding, hence the traditional first gift is pretty affordable. Since the first year of marriage is like a blank sheet and relatively fragile, the tradition of gifting paper seems appropriate for the first anniversary. So, celebrate your first wedding anniversary with some creative paper gift like a handmade paper card with romantic quotes or poems.

2nd Anniversary gift – Something made of cotton

Cotton can be seen as the perfect metaphor for marriage. Cotton fabric is made of lots of threads that are woven together and the same goes for marriages. The longer you are married, the more your life gets intertwined with your partner. There are a number of cotton gift ideas that you can think of, so get creative and personalize this gift for your partner, like a pillow photo framed of both of you or a couple bathrobe set.

3rd Anniversary gift – Something made of leather

As your marriage matures, your relationship also gets stronger. Just like leather which is durable and traditionally used to protect and provide shelter to people. So, gift your partner something leather as a way to represent this. There are many good gifting options, but if you want to go with the classics, then a wallet or a handbag can be the best and safest choice as a gift.

4th Anniversary gifts- Something made of flower and fruits

After the wonderful four years of togetherness, you can see your marriage bloom and partnership ripen before your eyes. So giving gifts comprising of flowers or fruits makes the perfect sense. Online Pune florist offers a wide range of bouquets that you can order before time to be delivered at your anniversary.

5th Anniversary gift- Something made of wood

In ancient times, trees were a symbol of wisdom. This is where the idea of gifting wood to celebrate the fifth year of your wedding comes from. Your marriage is strong, and you have grown deep and steady roots that are entwined. There can be a lot of creative and unique gifts that you can give to your partner like a romantic sign to hang in your bedroom, or even a beautiful wooden photo frame to showcase your wedding photos.

The list goes on, but the starting five years of a wedding are amongst the most cherished and precious for every couple. So, make it a point to surprise your better half with a beautiful yet affordable gift every year on your wedding anniversary.

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Successful Marriage – Analogy Between GPS and Marriage

Marriage is an interesting but quite frustrating journey, just like every other essential trip you have to make in life

Marriage is an interesting but quite frustrating journey, just like every other essential trip you have to make in life. Your love life is something you want to consider investing in. If you are taking a trip to somewhere, for example, there are many routes that may lead to that destination but some few are the best. At times when you don’t know the way, you often engage the aid of your GPS (the geographic positioning system). The equipment leads you with a voice, which guides step by step how you move to that your determined destination. One thing you do with this is that:

1. You set a destination from the beginning of the trip – this helps to focus the attention of the GPS to where you are going.

2. There are allowances for a detour when there is an error – in case you miss your road along the line, it automatically redirects and still takes you there.

3. You can decide to follow or not – no matter how many times the equipment guides, you are the one who decides whether you will follow or not.

4. When you follow strictly you always arrive on time – this is so sure. Your obedience to the instructions eases you of so much trouble along the trip.

5. The GPS takes you through the best route ever by avoiding the obstructions on the journey.

The above analogy can be used to give a vivid description of how our marriages are crafted to work out:

Having a vision is a great way to make your marriage succeed

Just like the GPS machine before you embark on your journey you must plan out and program the expected destination

Yeah, just like the GPS machine before you embark on your journey you must plan out and program the expected destination. In the same way, your marriage is an institution created by God-given for you and your spouse to run. Set a vision for your marriage, set goals for what you want to achieve. What are the dreams you desire since you were young and single, don’t let those dreams die.

The marriage institution is supposed to enhance those dreams and not to kill them. In fact, you now have better chances of fulfilling those dreams other than doing it alone. You now have a better advantage to work it out with your partner. Two good heads are better than one so they say.

  1. Decide how many children you intend to have;
  2.  What kind of home will you like to stay together?
  3. When do you intend to retire?
  4. What do you plan to do after retirement?

You can have short term, medium and long-term vision. They will help channel the course of your marital journey.

Your vision fuels your life’s mission to a successful marriage

Your mission is your assignment in life. Another way to make your marriage succeed is to allow for detours. Everything may not always work out the same way you have planned it. However, you can be flexible to change whenever the situation demands. There is a particular reason you were married to your own spouse and not somebody else.

Have you stopped to ever think this way? The marriage is a combustion force to propel you to unimaginable heights. Once you get it right, you are sure you will both live right and finish well.

Trust is an essential key to a successful marriage

Again, trust and obedience is another way to make your marriage succeed. Although, like the GPS you are not mandated to heed to the directions communicated. In fact, you actually have a choice to either follow or not. Trusting each other and obeying God in your marriage will keep you on top. Following direction and being obedient to one another always makes you get to your destination and even get there much more quickly than if you didn’t heed each other’s trust.

Your vision that you set for your marriage gives you a compelling reason to follow suit. It’s like a laid down guide to follow. There are certainly many distractions that will come along your marriage journey: friends, work, community engagement, religious activities, children, finance, health and other issues. However, there is no force that can stop a determined mind.

You are focused because you have a set destination in mind so all your strength and passion are channeled towards that vision. Those words in the scripture which says if somebody’s eye is single his whole body will be full of light validates that.

Trust and obedience is another way to make your marriage succeed

Never allow pro-vision take away your vision

The beauty of setting marital vision together is the fulfilment of that same vision. In reality, it is not always easy. In pursuing your marriage goals at times you might be tempted to neglect the important things at the expense of the mundane things. For your marriage to succeed you must focus on the important things by channeling more time and effort to them. In my own opinion and from my 14 years of marriage experience your marriage is better when ‘kept’ in God’s hand. Let him guide and lead you all the way. You can be sure you will land safely and successfully.

Provision is a way you work hard by your strength and human connection to meet the needs of the family. The basic necessities of life: food, shelter and clothing that really make live enticing. Furthermore, in the process of achieving these many marriages have failed woefully. This is because couples now have little or no time to share together, cuddling, talking and sharing affections together. They often don’t even have enough family time and the children from such homes suffer greatly for this. But come to think of it, how can your marriage be strong, better and successful this way?

Keeping healthy boundaries is another to make your marriage successful

As you journey in your marriage, there are many other variables and factors that come to place ranging from family, in-laws, co-workers and friends. There are times when friends may want to take your time, in need of your attention.

Again, after your relationship with God, your next important thing is your marriage and relationships. It is important to set boundaries as to limit of time to share with other people apart from your spouse and indeed family. This is not meaning to be selfish but prioritizing sets things in the right order. Many cases of infidelity have been uncovered through unhealthy friendships with coworkers. Therefore be observant and stay alert at all times.

Keeping healthy boundaries is another to make your marriage successful

 

Engage the influence of harmony

Empirical reports have shown that united couples who are united are hardly divorced. Unity, as it depicts, is the act of oneness in purpose, vision and in character. Husband and wives are able to achieve more result than when not united. They are able to make benefiting decisions, not only on their lives but also on their children and close family matters. They are not divergent. Unity brings growth, progress and a better marriage.

List forgiveness in your calendar

Forgiveness is a huge one. If your goal is to see your marriage succeed. Truth be told, there are no two different people living together that will not step on each other’s toes from time to time. But when a heart of forgiveness flows between both spouses, they will conquer the many dangers lurking at the doors for the joy and peace of their successful marriage.

List forgiveness in your calendar

Maintain true love with each other

Love is the bond that makes you feel you are a perfect match for each other! Love is such a beautiful thing. Be intentional to grow this love from time to time. This is what will keep the union. No power can conquer true love.

Hence, when the trials and storms come in your marriage the love you have planted, nurtured and grown together will now be harvested to cater for inherent lapses that may occur due to the unavoidable factors of marital livelihood.

Your marriage success is absolute

The success of your marriage is paramount above all hence. But it takes time and intentional efforts to see this to fruition. Therefore, having a vision for your marriage and diligently following through the aforementioned factors listed above is good enough to provoke a good success in marriage. No excuses, no matter how huge enough is acceptable for failure.

Success is the goal that every marriage seeks. Only those who follow prepared patterns actually reach to that point of success indeed. Certainly, your marriage will succeed when you have a propelling vision; you trust each other, keep healthy boundaries, engage the influence of harmony, always forgive and have true love.

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Tuesday 26 June 2018

Navigating the Challenges of Stepfamily Life

A successful remarriage and building a new stepfamily requires a foundation built on appreciation, respect, and tolerance.

The post Navigating the Challenges of Stepfamily Life appeared first on The Gottman Institute.



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The Root Cause of Your Relationship Struggles

Relationship struggles can go on for years without resolution. Here's Joan's story of how she learned how to let go of the struggle for more peace & love...

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Monday 25 June 2018

Anger: A Prelude to Courage

Linda Graham, MFT, examines the neuroscience of anger and though it is a necessary, hard-wired survival skill, the key is to recognize healthy vs. unhealthy anger. 

It’s important to understand that anger is a hardwired-in, body-based survival response.  We can feel angry at the drop of a hat from the moment we’re born – because that’s how we survive, individually and as a species.  Anger revs up right out of the amygdala when we feel threatened, just as fear does, often in response to the same threat.  This revving up of fight-flight in our nervous system is what gets the body moving very, very quickly to protect our own life or the lives of our relatives, our kin, our tribe.  Anger is as necessary to our lives as breath and food and love. (Anger also has its costs.  Sustained anger, like sustained fear, sustains the revving up of the stress hormone cortisol which over time leads to increased risks of heart attacks, strokes, gastro-intestinal illnesses, and a steady compromise of the immune system which leads to more colds, flu, headaches, and less protection against cancer.  Research has linked sustained anger to increased risk taking, poor decision making and increased substance abuse as well.) We experience the body-based revving up of anger in response to danger or threat as a full-fledged emotion as it links up with our perceptions and interpretations of our experience, signaling a perceived violation of a boundary, or a perceived lack of respect, or a perceived unfairness or injustice or oppression.  The perception may be accurate or inaccurate, but the fueling of anger is based on our perceptions, not intrinsic to the external triggers themselves.

 It’s never what people do that makes us angry; it’s what we tell ourselves about what they did that makes us angry.  

– Marshall Rosenberg

 The two main problems with anger as an emotion are:

  • anger that is explosive, out of control, our tempers hijacking our better judgment or a full-blown rage knocking the functioning of our thinking brain off line altogether.
  • anger that is repressed; out of sight, out of mind, survival relying on pleasing or placating instead, which can lead to self-sacrifice, self sabotage, self-blame.

In the first case, anger is under-regulated.  Not enough top-down management from the higher brain (especially the pre-frontal cortex which bears most of the burden of regulating the amygdala).  Anger arises naturally, spontaneously, signaling us and others something important is happening!  Pay attention!  But then the anger continues unchecked, often fueled by memories and beliefs from past injuries to our bodies or our psyches.

Flying off the handle sometimes causes hammers and humans to lose their heads, as well as their effectiveness.   

– William Arthur Ward

In the second case, anger is over-regulated.  Too much top-down management from the higher brain.  When anger does naturally, spontaneously arise, it is quicklyAnger - A Prelude to Courage compartmentalized or dissociated away, so as not to offend someone, put us at risk, or get us into trouble, often very wisely so at the time.  Over time, the deflection of anger can be so swift, we no longer feel the anger as an emotion at all, though, of course, the activating of it in our bodies is still there.  Sometimes the repression of anger can be so powerful, all other emotions are swept into denial, too.  We wind up feeling nothing, our feelings flatlined, hence the shorthand phrase – “depression is anger turned inward.” (Why helping people get in touch with their anger and expressing it adaptively can be a skillful means to activate out of depression.) Since all emotions are body-based signals to pay attention and carry with them adaptive action tendencies, the under-regulation or over-regulation of anger implies that an adaptive regulation of anger is possible, which is what we learn here. In her classic book, The Dance of Anger, Dr. Harriet Lerner talks about the first kind of anger – explosive – which gets us labeled a bitch or a prick.  And the second kind of anger – repressed – which leads us to live life as a doormat. She suggests there is a third way to express anger: to channel the energy of the anger into being firm, assertive, clear, and relentless in our cause until our boundaries/needs/rights are respected. This third option – of anger finding its courage to insist, skillfully, appropriately, on change -can actually happen when the pre-frontal cortex – the executive center of the brain – stays online long enough and strongly enough to manage the surges of energy in the body we experience as anger, slowing us down long enough (hence the folk wisdom of counting to ten) to manage the anger, to stop feeding the anger, and to channel anger into some well-thought through adaptive action. You may have experienced in your own intimate and family relationships an earnest desire for the people closest to you to respect your needs – for sleep, for time away; your boundaries – which music or TV show you’re willing to listen to after 11pm and which you’re not; your rights – to speak your own truth about career, finances, holidays with relatives, and be understood and cared about, even if disagreed with.

 Healthy anger requires us to define ourselves and to be the best expert on what values, priorities and desires are not negotiable under relationship pressures.  It requires us to change our part in the relationship patterns from which our anger springs…..Healthy anger requires self-focus, so we can observe and change our part in the patterns that keep us stuck, rather than dissipating our energy trying to change another person who doesn’t want to change.

            – Harriet Lerner

Anger is so cued by our perceptions of unfairness, disrespect, discrimination, humiliation, injustice, oppression, it behooves us to bow to the power of its kissing cousin – shame – to fuel the anger response.  Anger arises on its own steam, of course.  It is hard-wired in to activate the body to move – in fight or even flight to fight another day.  Shame is a learned response, conditioned over time in the right hemisphere of the cortex by our experiences in personal and social relationships.  The right hemisphere does have a built-in negativity bias toward anxiety, shame, and depression, so everything we learn early on about self-worth and self-dignity can encode negatively in our neural circuitry instead of positively, creating underlying automatic patterns of self-doubt, self-hatred. Shame as a primary experience can then trigger anger as a secondary emotion to protect us from feeling unbearable shame.  Anger is often quite justifiable; it is also quite often a reactive force over a deeper underlying hurt, fear, unmet need, or shame.  It is more empowering to feel anger than to feel shame.  Our body-mind can learn to protect us from shame by being conscious of the anger with no consciousness whatsoever of the unconscious shame trigger it is protecting us from. Anger or conflict at work is often a signal something drastically needs to change there, too.  When needs of the whole – fairness in promotion policies, reasonable deadlines for team projects, adequate recourse for grievances – are being overlooked, ignored, even violated, anger conveys an urgency, something needs to be addressed, NOW.  Some problem – unclear goals or timelines, credit not given where credit is due – needs to be resolved, NOW.  If that urgency can be acknowledged by the powers that be, the anger can act as a signal to open minds rather than close them and work creatively, collaboratively, productively toward the greater good for the entire enterprise. This striving for ourselves is what we want to catch and re-channel for the truth of the common good.  There is always plenty to be angry about in the human condition, for ourselves personally and for those people and causes near and dear to us: financial collapse and corruption, the worsening threats to the environment, the siphoning of resources for education and health care into endless military quagmire.  When we can channel our anger toward the benefit of the community – thinking globally, acting locally – insisting on recycling programs at our jobs, campaigning for the restoration of music and the arts in local schools, we are converting anger to action for the common good.

Anger may be foolish and absurd, and one may be irritated when in the wrong, but a man never feels outraged unless in some respect he is at bottom right.

            – Victor Hugo

When social-political change is blocked, then resentment builds and rage erupts.  We’ve all seen race riots and political protests, in person or in the media.  The wisest leaders of all time have had the vision and courage to channel the anger and threat of violence into an unstoppable force to end oppression – ending Jim Crow, ending apartheid, getting women the vote, liberating India from the rule of the British raj. Dr. Agnete Fischer, a psychology professor at the University of Amsterdam, has an interesting angle on anger.  She posits: the more words a culture has for the nuances of anger – irritated, annoyed, miffed, peeved, nettled, vexed, irked, cross, resentful, galled, rancorous, riled, wrathful, furious, enraged, outraged, pissed off, put out, in a snit, indignant, irate, fuming, seething, hot under the collar, foaming at the mouth, hopping mad, in a lather, incensed, livid, offended, infuriated – the more tools we have to steer anger into constructive rather than destructive directions.  The more tools we have to channel all nuances into healthy anger rather than unhealthy rage, the more empowered we are, the more courageous we can be, to channel the signal of anger into the prelude of productive change.



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Sunday 24 June 2018

How much does SEO cost?

How much does SEO cost? By Marcus Miller How much does SEO cost? SEO is not as easy to nail down as, say, sending out a direct mail campaign to 100 recipients. In some ways, it is not always as easy to measure, as many marketing activities may impact organic search traffic. The cost of SEO … How much does SEO cost? weiterlesen

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Saturday 23 June 2018

How Long Does It Take To Rank For A Keyword

Keywords By Anil Agarwal How Long Does It Take To Rank For A Keyword Are you up for an interesting SEO case study? Want to improve Google search ranking? Do you want to know how long does it take to rank for a particular keyword? We recently worked on an interesting SEO case study and found … How Long Does It Take To Rank For A Keyword weiterlesen

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Friday 22 June 2018

What Pride Means to the Gay Couples Institute

The Gay Couples Institute saw the need for specialized care for LGBTQ couples, and we provide support to their tribe members.

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LOVE ISLAND – A PSYCHOTHERAPIST VIEW – WEEK 3

Love Island – Week 3

Relationship and affairs expert Yvonne Filler analyses week 3 on the island.

When Love Island makes BBC Breakfast news you know its been a controversial week for the islanders.  Not for the first time Adam steals the limelight, or is that gaslight?  This week we possibly add our own controversial view as we cast an expert eye over proceedings.

Adam – Adam, Adam, Adam.  If only you knew what was being said on the outside world.  Despite his nasty sniggers and smirks I almost feel sorry for the lad.  Yes, he’s made for some incredibly uncomfortable scenes but I’m left wondering about the scenes we’re not shown.  He hasn’t changed.  He claimed he finds it hard when a relationship gets too intense.  It did with Rosie.  Zara is understandably being more cautious and therefore plays neatly into Adam’s “type”.  Despite his obvious interest in Zara I still maintain his style as dismissive-avoidant.  I believe he’s hiding behind the charm – you can tell he’s having to really try at it and it doesn’t come naturally.  He is 20. And he’s male.  He clearly doesn’t yet know how to handle his emotions. He’s on a reality show called Love Island. I think it’s dangerous to call him a “gaslighter” or “emotional abuser”.  We can’t judge him on a few carefully chosen excerpts from 24 hours of filming but we can use it to highlight the danger of emotionally abusive relationships in general.  I await the disinterest with Zara as soon as she becomes that little bit more settled and keen.

Laura and Wes – Be careful what you wish for Laura.  Last week we heard her almost tease the producers when she said “we need something to test us”.  Enter Ellie stage right.  When a head is turned purely by the same colour hair and eyes as your partner we know we’re not watching a particularly scientific experiment about human interaction.  I predicted last week that the producers will try their hardest to make it happen and their minor efforts have at least wobbled the couple.  Laura with insecurity, and Wes asking “am I wanting to settle down?”.  With Ellie’s eyes firmly on the cash prize, as opposed to Alex, Laura can rest easy.  For now.

Jack and Dani – Warning – another controversial view for those who are as besotted with these two as much as Jack likes to think they are besotted with each other.  I talked last week about game playing by Dani and last night I picked up on a big hint that I might not actually be too far off the mark.  When new boy Sam arrived Adam asked “lets cut to the chase, who do you fancy”.  Others joined in the questioning but if you listen hard enough you’ll hear Dani say “Yes, what’s your game plan?”.  She’s enjoying time with Jack but she’s either very camera shy, worried what her dad might think or playing a very good game.  She’s not giving a whole lot.

Josh and Georgia – Still not a lot of airtime for these two, so clearly still not rocking any boats and hanging under the radar.  Georgia wasn’t slightly concerned about the arrival of the two new girls and confirmed our assertions that she’s not here for love, more for fame.  Josh was slightly unsettled by the arrival of Sam but he too is confident in his own skin with a secure style that doesn’t seem to be causing any dramas.

Meghan and Eyal – Almost certainly to Adam’s disappointment Megan and Eyal appear to have provided the first sexual encounter of the series, 3 weeks in.  I was quite surprised.  She was seeming almost reserved and not willing to give much to the coupling up until the wine tasting date.  Perhaps it went to her head or maybe she is seeing something in Eyal that audiences aren’t.  Twitter is full of negative comments for his personality which doesn’t conform to the usual Love Island style but it seems to be impressing Meghan although she is easily taken in by a few compliments.  I’d worry about her if, or when,  Eyal’s head is turned.

Alex and Samira – ….and finally.  They’re still here.  Alex possibly safer than Samira.  Desperate to find Love on the Island, he’s now coupled up with Ellie.  Who, I’m guessing, is desperate to be coupled up with a viewers favourite – after all there is £50,000 up for grabs.  They are a very unlikely couple and although I’ve seen many different personalities work together long term, this one just doesn’t look likely.  Ellie is already finding Alex’s awkwardness difficult to manage and asking him to “go with the flow” more.  My guess is he spent a large part of his teens and twenties with his head in a medical text book and is only now realising what more he’d like from life.  Socialising and romancing takes practice and he’ll get there.  Just not on Love Island. I really hope Samira stays in but she comes across as too level-headed, wise and emotionally aware to make good TV.

So, there we are, Week 3, done.   Another coupling up tonight is going to make for interesting viewing. I predict new boy Sam will go for Georgia, so we might see a little more of Josh over the next few days.

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