12 Indications You are Living an Authentic Life

11 Father’s Day Gift Ideas to Love

Father’s Day is just around the corner. Now is the time to shop around and look for the perfect gift to show your Dad how much you appreciate him. Good thing this article brings you 7 amazing Father’s Day gift ideas he will surely love.

An Outdoor Celebration for His Special Day

It is incredible how the special day of all daddies in the world takes place at such a great time of the year. It happens at the transitional period when spring turns to summer, which is one of the best times of the year. Go out and organize a party for your Dad with a lot of balloons and air dancers and his favorite food.

It is also an excellent time to go out and enjoy the outdoors if your dad is an outdoorsman. Even if he only imagines himself to be a nature guy, these gift ideas would still be perfect for him. Get him one of these, and you can surely improve his time outdoors or at least encourage him to get out more.

Best Outdoor Gift Ideas for Dads

• RFID wallets

For dads who love to travel, whether work or pleasure, RFID wallets are surely a lovely gift. It makes it easy to keep your dad’s credit cards, passports, and other identifications safe in one place. With the option of personalizing it, you can make it even more special for the number one male in your life.

• Whiskey Decanter and Rocks Glasses Set

Father’s Day is a great day to celebrate and a beautiful gift for a day like this would be a Whiskey Decanter and Rocks Glasses Set. Show your dad how much you appreciate him with a personalized set that tells him to enjoy a drink from time to time.

• Carry-on Cocktail Kit

Another excellent gift for fathers who love to travel is the Carry-on Cocktail Kit. It is a fantastic travel product that can give your dad everything he needs if ever desires to have a cocktail. Well, except alcohol. Still, it is a must-have gift for every father out there.

• Travel Laptop Backpack

It must be hard for your dad to carry his laptop when going on a corporate trip. It’s heavy and bulky, which makes traveling inconvenient. In that case, a travel laptop backpack from Alpineswiss is a perfect gift. It has all the compartments for when traveling for business and is one of the best purchases for organizing travel.

• Camping kit

Plenty of dads love to go out and enjoy nature. If your dad is not one of them, you may still be able to compel him with a nice camping kit. With the right gear, your dad may want to take you and the family on a leisurely getaway.

• SmartWatch

Gift him with not just any ordinary smartwatch. Get him one that can help him accomplish his fitness goals. There are plenty of good choices for this, capable of reminding your dad to get up and go out, especially when he has been on his desk for a long time.

• Wireless Headphones

Does your dad love to work out while enjoying the outdoors? You can help rev up his time with a wireless headphone. Get one that you think will fit him snugly and can last for more than a few hours on a single charge. Look for 2019’s top performers to find the best wireless headphones for your dad.

• Waterproof Digital Camera

Even if your dad is not as tech savvy as you are, a waterproof digital camera is a beautiful gift. A camera is a lovely gadget to capture the best moments while traveling. In his age, he will love to get a shot of outdoor videos and pictures of all the great things he sees.

• Survival Tool

Ensure your dad can survive the outdoors with a good set of survival tool. It is an excellent gift for dads who spend his idle time mountain biking, trail running, fly fishing, or snowboarding. This way, he will have just what he needs for good camping or backpacking experience.

• Pocket knife

A pocket knife has a lot of uses, and anyone who loves outdoors definitely needs at least one. Even if your dad already has a pocket knife he keeps when bike riding, he will surely appreciate you getting another one.

• A Good Book

Who says your dad cannot enjoy nature and a good book? He will appreciate a nice read while waiting at the airport when going on corporate travel. Even when going on a leisure trip, a book is a perfect companion when he gets bored.

Here are some simple gifts you can give your dad this upcoming Father’s Day. They are fantastic and quite affordable, so there is nothing to say that you need loads of money to make this special day extra special. As they say, it is the thought that counts!

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5 Tips on Choosing a Perfect Birthday Gift for Your Girlfriend

Buying a gift for Valentines, Christmas or any other occasion is a common thing and it’s not hard to find a good gift. But when it is your girlfriend’s birthday your gift should be unique. You must choose the best gift for a girlfriend on her birthday.

Choosing her birthday gift is not a simple decision to make, it has to be something special that truly projects your feelings for her. So, you must research deeply to find your girlfriend’s birthday gift.

We have listed everything you need to know about ways to pick a birthday gift for a new girlfriend.

Below we listed some interesting birthday gift ideas for girlfriends to make her day beautiful.

Awesome birthday gift ideas for girlfriend to choose from

1. Flowers

If you are wondering ‘what is the best birthday gift for girlfriend?’, choose flowers.

Flowers represent love. So, birthday flowers are the perfect choice to convey your love to your girlfriend on her birthday. Most girls love fresh and long-lasting flowers. Beautiful roses are great to make your girlfriend feel even more special. A fresh flower is a timeless gift that can cement your love for each other right there on the spot. It features at the top of the list of birthday gift ideas for girlfriend.

2. Photo album

Another beautiful and meaningful gift in the list of birthday gift ideas for girlfriend is a thoughtful photo album that can be filled with pictures of both you experiencing unforgettable moments. If you search online and you can get a lot of collections with different varieties which fulfill your requirement. Giving a beautiful photo album with a bouquet is an even better idea to make your girlfriend feel awesome. There are plenty of online florists available who offer such customizations. So, you can simply contact them and get the perfect gift for your loved one.

3. Trip to a special place

What is the most romantic gift for a girlfriend?

An exciting trip!

Every girl has a favorite place and at least once in their entire life, they want to visit that place. So, if you take your girlfriend to her favorite place on her birthday it will probably be an unforgettable gift for her. If you are going to go for this one, then this gift should be a surprise. You should keep this as a secret. This is one of the best birthday gift ideas for a girlfriend.

4. Breakfast in bed

‘How can I make my girlfriends birthday special?’ you ask, then, cook for her.

This is a kind of romantic gift which will save your money too. If you are working every day and you don’t have enough time to spend with your girlfriend then also, this will make a great gift. You can make her favorite breakfast and surprise her. You can prepare a heart shape of bread with some fruit and mimosas and she will be thrilled.

Personalized gifts

Another way is to give a personalized gift to your girlfriend on her birthday. There are plenty of personalized gifts available online.

How to choose the best gift for your girlfriend?

Just remember, buy gifts your girlfriend actually wants.

Women’s clothing items is one of the best gifts. But, you should be aware of her favorite dress before purchasing anything. Handbags are another gift option which girls really like. Before you choose a bag, check your girlfriend’s dress collection. Girls buy bags which suit their dress.

These tips should be able to help you pick the perfect birthday gift for your girlfriend.

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Is Your Dog Ruining Your Relationship

Having a dog in might be one of the most gratifying experiences in a man’s lifetime. They greet you with excitement every time you come home, they cuddle up with you when you relax after work and they make perfect companions for your outdoor activities as well. Although they definitely require time, attention and work, once you have a dog, you can never imagine your life without him.

But what if your, or your partner’s relationship with your dog is interfering with your marriage? Is Fido affecting the time you spend with your other half? Can a dog cause a divorce? Read about the clues your pet is ruining your relationship.

Today we’re letting you know what are all the ways your dog is ruining your relationship involuntarily –

1. Your dog sleeps with you in bed

Going to bed with your loved one is one of those moments when you can finally have some peace and quiet after a long day at work and cuddle up together. Often it is the only part of the day couples manage to fit in some intimacy time, especially those with small children.

Can pets ruin your relationship in such a scenario?

If your dog sleeps with you in bed and doesn’t let you spoon with your other half chances are your dog is ruining your relationship. While having a dog sleep beside you might be a very cute thing at first, after a while, you will realize that your dog’s sleeping habits might be creating an emotional distance between you and your partner.

2. Your dog gets all the attention

Relationships are all about giving and receiving. It is the lesson number one we all learn when entering a relationship built on trust and commitment. But has something drastically changed in your love life since the moment you or your partner got a dog?

Dogs are adorable creatures, and it is easy to become obsessed with them. We create their Instagram profiles, take photos of them, cuddle with them, give them pet names, talk to them, and so on. Most of these things are normal parts of having a pet, but sometimes, things can get a little out of control.

You might finally be alone with your partner, but instead of talking and finally spending some quality time with your loved one, you just can’t stop playing with your dog. If this situation sounds familiar to you, then you might be neglecting your partner because of your pet, your dog is ruining your relationship.

In this case, you need to work on finding a balance between spending quality time with your pup and being overly attached to him (not to mention that this kind of relationship could lead to other behavioral problems in dogs such as separation anxiety).

3. You don’t have some alone time with your partner

While some dogs will leave you much-needed space and time with your partner, others simply don’t accept the fact that they are not the center of attention all the time. Some dogs can even get jealous of their owner being all cuddly with their partner to such an extent that they always choose to sit between the couple. Your dog might also be following you wherever you go, making having a moment for intimacy nearly impossible.

However, if this is the case, it is not your dog’s fault. You should show your dog that you need to have some time in private by teaching him to keep himself entertained when he’s alone. Put your dog in his bed, provide him with some toys and reward him for staying in his place.

In order to have a fulfilling relationship, each couple needs to have some alone time only for them, your dog excluded. Prevent your dog from ruining your relationship.

4. Your dog is affecting your sleep quality

While the first ways a dog could be affecting your love life are rather direct, this one can affect it completely indirectly.

Your dog is ruining your relationship by affecting your sleep quality by sleeping next to you and moving a lot, or by barking during the night and interrupting your sleep. Interrupted sleep can make you feel tired in the morning, and eventually lead to sleep deprivation.

When we are sleep deprived, we experience more mood swings, feel rather cranky and sleepy all the time. Feeling excessively tired throughout the day makes us less enthusiastic in general, which inevitably leaves consequences on all our relationships, marriage included. Your dog is ruining your relationship if you are not getting adequate sleep because of it. Once you solve your sleeping problem, you will likely see all your relationships improve.

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Indicators of Online Infidelity to Look out for

Romantic relationships can be tricky. No one wants to believe that their partner would cheat on them, however, it does happen, often.

A recent study has revealed that 90% of people have been cheated on, and that most people find out of their partner’s infidelity through at least one form of technology.

The easiest indicators of infidelity related to technology:

1. Texting history
2. Call history
3. Social media activity
4. Internet history

Technology plays a large role in infidelity

Trust is important in any relationship. Discovering one’s infidelity not through a partner’s mouth but rather through their phone/computer can diminish any sense of trust that your relationship once had.

If you feel like you cannot trust your partner you need to ask yourself if you believe that they are capable of infidelity. Marriage is special and such feelings should not be taken lightly.

If you do think that your spouse is cheating based on behavior and circumstance, the clearest indication of their infidelity would be their phones and computers.

Here are the most common ways that people use technology to catch their spouse cheating- and how you can use these techniques to determine whether or not your spouse is being unfaithful.

1. Texting history

The study found that 36% of people found out their partner was cheating by checking their verified texting history.

If your spouse is texting at all hours and hiding their phone from you, it may be a sign that they are texting someone that they are romantically involved with.

Texting has become the easiest way for people to connect with their affair partners. It is easy to enter into lengthy and intimate conversations with someone other than your spouse while texting.

Texting allows affair partners to communicate in ways that they could not do in person.

Texting gives affair partners the opportunity to send each other racy pictures, say things that they may not have the courage to say in person and talk to each other even more often so that intimacy can develop quickly and easily.

How to catch your partner cheating through text message

With apps that spy on text messages, recovering deleted text messages, reverse phone lookup websites, and late night texts that you can view while your partner is sleeping, looking at your partner’s text messages is an easy way to determine if they are cheating.

Use one or more of the techniques above to see if you can determine if your spouse is being unfaithful.

2. Call history

The study found that 34% of people found their partner was cheating by checking their verified cell phone call history.

Calling an affair partner on the phone is another way for cheaters to connect with one another when they can’t see them face to face.

If you think that your partner is calling their affair partner on the phone, the signs are similar to if they are texting their affair partner. They will be secretive with their phone, they will exit the room to make calls and they may be video calling them (vs. sending pictures if texting).

How to catch your spouse cheating through call history

Your spouse is probably smart enough to delete the call history associated with their affair partner.

They might even be smart enough to make calls on apps instead of right through their phone app and even change their affair partner’s name on their phone so that when they call it comes up as “Mary from human resources.”

Cheaters use this tactic so that when their affair partner calls, they have the excuse to leave the room stating that is a call from work.

The best way to catch your spouse cheating through their call history is by:

1. Checking their phone call history
2. Checking their phone bill
3. Using a reverse phone lookup to lookup numbers that are called frequently and/or numbers that have long conversations
4. Downloading a cell phone spy app

3. Social media activity

The study found that 29% of people discovered that their partner was cheating via social media (Facebook, Instagram, etc)

Social media sites such as Facebook plays a central role in modern infidelity.

On average, adults spend 116 minutes a day on social media websites alone.

Social media sites are breeding grounds for cheaters to communicate and meet one another.

What’s worse, social media sites are perfect places to look for “back burners” (people that can be worthy for future affairs).

How to catch a spouse cheating through social media

As in all other instances check your spouse’s behavior. If they are on social media more often, are secretive on their phone and delete social media history (such as all of their search history is deleted or you catch them deleting messages on Facebook messenger)) this is a sign that they are cheating.

One of the most tell-tale ways to catch someone cheating is by logging into their Facebook account and downloading all of their activity, which you can learn how to do by clicking here.

You can also search any known usernames that your spouse has on Google to see if they have any secret social media accounts. Additionally, you can check for any hidden accounts by performing a deep web search on them through a people search website.

Finally, if you haven’t been able to find anything, try making a fake Facebook profile of someone your spouse would be attracted to and send a message to your spouse to see if they reply and/or hide the message from you.

4. Internet history

The study found that 21% of people discover their partner is cheating via internet history.

The internet is a great way to positively connect with one another- but it is also a portal for cheaters and other negative people to do dirty deeds.

The internet is an obvious way to meet and maintain relationships, especially for cheaters. With hookup sites designed for married men and women to meet each other, x-rated visuals, videos and live camming, the internet is a ways for someone to cheat on their spouse in a matter of seconds.

How to catch a spouse cheating through internet history

Cheating spouses often go online for multiple reasons. You can certainly catch them by installing either hardware or software keyloggers.

If that doesn’t work, if you don’t have the cash to install the hardware or if that sounds too complicated for you, you can also create free and fake profiles on dating websites.

You of all people should know what type of person your spouse would find attractive, so create the bait and then either play the waiting game or send a message to their old dating profile that they say is “inactive”.

Start slow and ask them basic questions. If they respond, slowly try to get to know them. Hopefully they will ask you to back off right away or before things get too far.

However, if your spouse is a cheater they will probably respond positively. If you get to the point where you can really take things far, perhaps you can try to turn the conversation sexual and see how they react.

If at all possible, try to get your spouses phone number. This is a good way to see if your spouse has secret prepaid cell phones that they use for cheating.

If you find out that your spouse is cheating…

It’s up to you and your partner on where to go from there. Statistics show that 64% of people stay with the partner that cheated on them, but 86% also say that the cheating affected the level of trust that they have with their partner. Source: National Cellular Directory

Despite your decision, my suggestion would be to talk to someone about your experience that is impartial and take time to heal.

Additionally, if your partner is being forceful in trying to get back together and you aren’t ready or don’t want to, don’t let them try to convince you to change your mind.

Final thoughts

In a perfect world your partner wouldn’t cheat. At the very least, they would be honest with you if they did make a mistake.

However, that’s not always how things end up. Often when someone thinks that their partner is cheating (and has good reason to believe so) confrontation will just lead to denial.

That goes to say that in most cases, unless you have hard evidence of your partner’s infidelity, chances are that all of your accusations will be denied.

Therefore it is important for you to do your own research and find out whether or not your spouse cheating without ever giving any indication that you are suspicious. Use the above ways to determine if there are acts of infidelity and if you do find something,

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3 Ways to Stop Unfair Criticism in a Relationship

Here are 3 ways to stop unfair criticism if you're struggling in your relationship and a story of hope from Susie and Otto Collins...

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4 Things to Avoid in Social Media If You Are in a Relationship

Do you know how many romantic dinners and planned dates were ruined because one person couldn’t skip checking social media or messaging? A lot! Social media is a new form of substance abuse. Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are so commonplace nowadays that they can even destroy happy relationships.

Social media may seem like it cannot influence the lives of real people. But in fact, it has the power to ruin the love and trust between two loving people. Social media and relationships are deeply intertwined these days and could cause severe consequences in your love life.

What should you avoid doing on social media if you want to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner?

To answer the question, ‘how can I protect my marriage from social media?’, let’s explore the ways to keep social media from destroying your relationship-

1. Searching and commenting to your ex’s posts

It’s quite common that people search for accounts of their exes to make sure that their lives haven’t changed or that they’ve even gotten worse. For some people, it’s like making sure that their life is better and happier. However, a truly successful relationship doesn’t need any approvals.

In social media and relationships, the former can wreck the latter into pieces. Social media is more influential than what most people think.

Frequently, social media seems less realistic than real life, and specific actions seem to be innocent. Leaving a compliment in a comment under your ex’s photo is less harmful than saying it in person, isn’t it? In fact, you may hurt your partner’s feelings in both cases.

Take it as a rule in social media and relationships: if you wouldn’t say the compliment in real life, don’t like or comment on the photos in social media.

Can social media ruin a marriage? Yes if you don’t exercise caution and keep in touch with your ex, it will ruin your present relationship.

2. Hiding posts from your partner

No matter whether it’s a funny picture that only a few of your friends will understand or a meaningless post – don’t hide it from your partner. Also, it would be a bad idea to share the post with your friends and leave it private for a beloved one. In social media and relationships, if you hide anything from your partner, social media will become the ghost that will forever haunt you.

Even if your viewpoints on the topic are different, there is no need to hide it. Secrets in social media only test your patience and trust.

Can Facebook ruin a relationship? If you are not transparent to each other, especially on social media then it can definitely ruin your relationship. In social media and relationships, it’s not hard for any kind of information that you have posted on social media to reach your lover, no matter what safety measures you had used to conceal the facts from them. It could spell the end of your relationship.

3. Sharing too many photos or information about your relationship

There is nothing wrong about posting a photo of your happy couple. But if you do it too frequently, it may look like you have nothing else in your life. In fact, sharing too much information about your relationship on social media may be harmful to you, your partner, and your friends. You have to strike the correct balance when it comes to social media and relationships.

Always try to think of your partner first. Remember this when you want to share your photo and details about your relationship on social media. If your partner doesn’t appreciate the publicity, it will be better to take their side. When you are considering social media and relationships, remember, there are certain things you should never post on social media about your relationship. A romantic relationship is an intimate relationship and not all the things that happen in a relationship must be disclosed to everybody.

One of the ways you can protect your marriage from social media is to ask your beloved whether it’s appropriate to share information about you two on social media.

Remember that the number of photos doesn’t mean that your relationship is strong. Most of the happy couples prefer not to disclose information about their personal life.

4. Spying on your partner

These days, there is no need to hire a private detective or lying in wait to keep an eye on your partner. You can just take their smartphone and look through the activity in social media and messengers. Some partners even insist on knowing all passwords and login data to social media accounts as a sign of fealty. All you need to remember is that spying on your partner is bad practice.

If you feel the need to check a partner’s messages, it’s time to speak about a lack of trust in your relationships.

Some couples decide not to follow each other in social media or pick only one type of social media to follow up. If you both share the idea to avoid spying and totally trust each other, it will be the best solution. A small amount of distance is important in social media and relationships.

Wrapping up

All in all, we need to admit that social media has a great impact on many couples. The last thing we should recommend is to not jump to conclusions. The things you see on the screen have no clear tone and intention. Always try to express why you are upset or worried instead of accusing. For example, before starting to argue with your partner because they have added an ex-girlfriend to their friend list, ask them to explain the reasons.

If you are reading this article and see that your partner is bored or upset, leave it all and hug your beloved one. It’s time to set aside your phone and have a talk with your husband or wife. Believe us, it’s much more interesting than news on the web.

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In a Pending Divorce, Who Gets the Custody of Child?

The custody of child during divorce proceedings is always a question. Moreover, divorce can be very frustrating and will adversely impact the entire family. And when it comes to divorce if you have kids, this situation gets more troublesome and painful.

This is a long process when you try to own the custody of your child. In some situations, the case on, ‘who gets custody of child in divorce?’ has even taken years before settling to the separation.

Initially, both the parents have the same right for custody of their children if there is no agreement in the place. Also, both the parents own visitation rights and that too, with no legal objections.

So, both the parents have the same right to custody before and during the divorce process.

Divorce is never easy, but we can help

In cases where the divorce is unavoidable and is certain to happen, it is advisable to seek legal guidance, learn about the child custody laws, and proceed with the same to establish the child custody rights.

But, can you get child custody while divorce is pending?

When the parents file for divorce, it totally depends on the child with whom he or she wants to reside if the child is school going or is close to 15 or 16 years old. Here, the parent who owns custodial rights will be the first to get the custody of child and he or she will have to take responsibility of the child’s needs including medical, social, emotional, financial, educational, etc.

However, the parent, who doesn’t hold the right, will only have the right to access.

Custody of child while divorce is pending

Let us understand who gets custody of the kids while a divorce is pending?

The custody of the child does not depend on the earning capacity of either of the parents, however this, for sure, accounts for a safe and secure future of the child.

The rights of a mother who is not earning, shall not be held accountable but the child’s support will be sought from a father who is earning.

1. If the child is in tender age and needs complete care, the right of custody will be preferred for the mother.
2. If the child has reached his age of discernibility, it depends on his desires for taking decisions regarding custody rights and access rights.

Hence, the above two points hint that who should be considered for the custodial rights of a child depending on his or her age.

In case of mutual divorce as well, both of the above mentioned points will be taken under consideration. It is totally wrong to say that the father should be given the right of custody once the child has reached his or her age of discernibility.

Joint custody of child provides the right to both parents but with different intensity. A parent will be given physical custody of the child whereas the other parent will be considered as the primary caretaker in case of a joint custody.

The intensity of access to a non-custodial parent may be daily, weekly, monthly or even fortnightly. The same can be overnight access or even day access. This may increase gradually and it may include special days, vacations or weekends.

The same can be a free access without any scheduled; however, this includes the right of a non-custodial parent to school events such as PTM, annual functions etc. which will be totally dependent on the convenience of the child and the parent who gets custody of child.

If the parent who has the right to access and wants to keep the child for some days (for a week or two), the non – custodial parent has to take orders from the court to that effect depending on the mutual understanding.

Duties that come with custody of child

The right to child’s custody shall also hold responsible the parent to exercise certain duty for the child. This duty is as important for the parents as the right to custody is. Both the parties can agree to any amount or payment during different phases of a child’s education or for monthly expenses as well which are needed for the child, upon agreement.

Now, this amount can be anything, but it has to cover the regular expenses which are required for living a life including social, medical and social needs.

Child custodial rules when kids own property

If the child owns some property in his or her name from either of the parents can also be settled as lump sum which can be adjusted as the expenses for monthly maintenance.

If there are investments in the name of the child which are potential enough of larger return in future (insurance & educational policies), can also be taken into consideration. Further, any situation of emergency (covering medical situations) will also be held accountable while handing over custody of child.

Saying that the money given in the name of the child for his or her expenses will be misused by the custodial parent should not be considered for the prevention of the cordial settlement.

The court will be the authority, and will also be the ultimate guardian. All the laws/rights, custody terms etc. will be protected by the court only. Every decision will be initiated in ‘the best interest of the child.’ The welfare of the child will be taken as the paramount consideration.

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Why Is Exercising with Your Significant Other Beneficial for You

Get better together.

There’s nothing like an intense, shared experience to bring people together and bond them. You can accomplish this by jumping out of an airplane together, spending date night watching a horror film or exercising with a partner.

In fact, you can get to create a healthier, happier body while creating a healthier and happier relationship by working out together. People that train with a partner get better results! It’s true…they work out harder, longer, and more regularly.

There are reasons why couples who sweat together, stay together. Here’s how that works:

1. Accountability

Showing up is half the battle! Committing to exercising with a partner will force you to overcome the myriad excuses that arise during the day.

You need to bust those excuses such as –

1. I’m tired
2. I’ll do it tomorrow
3. Skipping once won’t hurt, and so on

We all want to be trusted by our partner, and we would like to be considered highly reliable. By scheduling your workouts as a couple, you will have many opportunities to develop trust, reliability, and dependability.

2. Respect

Believe it or not, you have a fitness super-power. There is some exercise, which you are fantastically amazing at…you just are! Maybe you already know what it is, or maybe you just haven’t discovered it yet.

Trust me—everyone has at least one fitness super-power. No matter how much fitter one of you is than the other, there is always that one thing that the other person will be better at.

Discovering, acknowledging, and celebrating those fitness abilities when exercising with a partner will create a newfound area of respect in your relationship.

3. Intensity

You’ll work harder with a partner. It’s just the way your brain is wired. You have mirror neurons in your brain that cause you to match the movements of other people.

A mirror neuron is a neuron that fires both when you act and when you observe the same action performed by another. That means you will match the form and pacing of your partner, and together you will achieve greater intensity than you would likely to achieve on your own. Even as one of you gets tired, you will continue to maintain a better pace due to the fitness and pacing of the fitter partner.

4. Regularity

The best workouts are the ones that you do and perform on a regular basis!

When exercising with a partner, you’ll agree to a schedule, and then you’ll hold one another accountable to adhering to the schedule of your shared training sessions. As you progress, one or both of you will notice a change in fitness levels. That person will become even more enthusiastic about the sessions and ensure that you both stick with it.

Nothing feeds success like success.

5. Motivation

Is it better to workout alone or with a partner?

Exercising with a partner has its own share of benefits. In fact, there is nothing more motivating than your partner recognizing and genuinely celebrating your efforts and achievements.

Training together is a great opportunity to show your partner your athletic side and impress them with at least one thing that you are great at. Not just that, but they are sure to notice and comment when you get better at something that you may have, initially struggled with.

Be sure to notice and celebrate incremental improvements as you notice them in your partner. Finally, if you are evenly matched at an activity, you may find yourself engaging in some good-natured and healthy competition.

Enjoy the challenge…after all, steel sharpens steel.

6. Attachment

Exercising with a partner will help you create a stronger sense of attachment to one another. Exercise stimulates the release of the attachment hormone, Oxytocin.

Train together frequently, increase your production of attachment hormones, and your bond will be strengthened.

Is it good for couples to workout together?

You already knew that working out was good for you. Now you know that exercising with a partner is good for your relationship, too!

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Can Words Really Hurt Me?

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but can words really hurt me?

The post Can Words Really Hurt Me? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

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Money Is Important but Relationships Matter More

It all started when my Mom’s friend discovered that she and I had the same birth date – she was in her 30’s, and I was 5 or 6. It seems odd today, but apparently, she was so excited that she actually gave my Mom some money $19 in honor of my May 19th birthday. This was how my first savings account began, and since then, not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought about how to grow that money, how to add to it, and how to eventually live on my assets and become a millionaire.

I made $27,000…and almost lost my wife

Seriously, I was obsessed with money.

1. At the age of 9, I built shoe cabinets and sold them at flea markets.
2. By 12, I was mowing and weed-whacking the neighbors’ yards
3. And, at the age of 14, I was working full-time in the summers at the local greenhouse.

The obsession began early, but didn’t end in those early years.

1. By age 26, I had a college degree and paid off all my debts
2. At age 30, my home was completely paid for and I had $40,000 saved in my retirement accounts
3. A couple years later, I was married and soon paid for a rental house with cash.

I was on the road to millionaire status by age 38

It seemed that I was a complete success. From the outside looking in, it appeared that I was one of the “lucky ones”. My money was compounding and it seemed that nothing was going to stop me!

And then it happened…

The decision that almost broke me.

The 2nd rental house

We found a diamond in the rough. Actually…we found some coal in the rough and decided to try to shape it into a diamond…

All kidding aside, we found a house for $75,000 that was probably worth $100,000. And, all fixed up would be worth around $135,000. Our plan was to rent it out for about $1,300 a month, which would have netted us approximately 13% a year on our investment. Not too shabby!

The only problem (small details here)…it smelled like cat urine, wet dog, and smoke…everywhere.

I probably should have realized it from the beginning, but the house was a total gut-job. We tore down the paneled walls, the ceiling, and the floors. My wife and I handled the demo. That alone took us about 3 weeks…

The rest of this house project was mine…and it took approximately 8 months.

I worked mornings before my 8am-5pm job. I worked nights after our toddler went to bed. And, I of course worked most Saturdays and Sundays to try to make a dent in this disaster-of-a-house.

At about the 6 month mark, my wife was at her whits end

1. I saw my daughter each evening, but was completely missing her life on the weekends
2. My wife and I maybe went on one date during that time
3. With her being pregnant with our second child, she was worried that this was going to be our new-normal…working, and then working some more, while working on the side (did I mention that I was running my blog during all this too??)

Our Marriage…Hanging by a thread

By the time I put the final coat of paint on that project house from hell, we were arguing nearly every night and needed to start counseling sessions so we didn’t take the “discussions” too far and do or say something that we’d regret for life.

We knew we wanted to stay together, but this house was tearing us apart. By the end of the project, my wife put her foot down and had me sell that house – mainly because she couldn’t look at it without burning up with anger and sadness.

Yes, I made $27,400, but I nearly lost a wife in the process.

Lesson learned

While this was one of the lowest points in our marriage, the lesson learned was one that I am forever thankful for.

Like I mentioned in the beginning of this post…I absolutely love to make money.

1. It’s a passion,
2. an interest,
3. and a thrill.

It’s not about buying cars, showing off my big houses, and it’s not even about offering my kids the best life possible. The whole thing is just a game to me (like Warren Buffett I guess).

1. How quickly can I become a millionaire?
2. What about a deca-millionaire?
3. At the rate of 15% growth, I could double my money every 5 years…so maybe I could even make it to a billion! Wouldn’t that just be amazing??!

This was always my perspective. I could be uber wealthy and ultra-powerful, and everything would be perfect, right?

Probably not…

In fact, I’d probably be single, lonely, and severely unhappy…and still thinking about how to make more money.

In my heart, I knew that there was more to life than just money, but my mind was continually thinking of ways to acquire more, earn more, and be more. But what’s the point of working so hard for such riches if you’re just going to be left miserable in the end anyway?

Life is about much more than money

It so true. Here’s the list to prove it. There’s:

1. relationships,
2. experiences,
3. spiritual practices,
4. new friendships,
5. health/fitness,
6. intelligence, and
7. career growth.

What is more important money or relationships?

Well, both are important. Life wouldn’t be beautiful with just relationships and no money. In fact, there are ‘n’ number of reasons money actually does matter in every relationship.

Does money matters in love and life?

Yes, but money is just one spoke of a 7-spoke wheel. If I would achieve that one goal and kill it like no other…The happiness wheel of my life would be left un-turned. I’d be stuck, unable to move because my life wheel would not be supported.

Why your relationships are more important than money?

Money alone cannot solve all the problems in your life.

During that terrible stretch of our lives when my wife and I were barely speaking to each other, I’m glad my thick skull was beginning to break down and understand this message. Since then, my focus has moved away from my money-only mentality…

1. We run/hike more,
2. We host more social events at our house (we moved recently and bought a place that made no financial sense…it’s been wonderful… ;))
3. I read more than just finance books now. I’ve branched out to spiritual, relationship, and personality type books. I love it.
4. Also, since I haven’t shown up to work looking like a zombie lately, I’ve been promoted once and I might be getting yet another one soon.

Your money or your wife

Ever hear of the book, “Your Money or your Life“? It’s a fantastic book that explores two major avenues that people can take. Either they can work for money and gather up a bunch of stuff along the way, or they can earn and spend only what they need and then enjoy a massive amount of their life actually living…and not working.

My recent experiences lead me to mentally change that title to, “Your Money or Your Wife”.

Either I could strive for success in the minds of millions on this world and lose my spouse, or I could reach for perfection in her eyes and truly be happy…even if it means a net worth of just a couple million and not billions…

Quite frankly, now that I look back on those moments, I just shake my head at all the money-chasers out there. At some point in their lives (most likely toward the end…), they’re going to realize that chasing money is a folly’s aspiration. Chasing after love, experiences, and helping others…now THAT will lead to a life of gratitude, contentment, and permanent happiness.

Which will you choose? Will it be your money or your wife??

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How to Handle Sabotage of Your Parent-Child Relationship

No one should have to fight with their current or former spouse for the affection of their children. And yet, this is the case for thousands of families every day. If your spouse or former spouse is underhanded, they might take it one step further to sabotage your parent-child relationship with your kids through lies or other manipulation.

The traits that may make someone exciting to date don’t translate well to parenting. And people do change over time, not always for the better.

If you do find that your former partner is trying to sabotage your parent-child relationship with your children, here are a few steps you can take to handle it.

Ways parents sabotage their kids’ future and how to stop it to save your parent-child relationship-

1. Find common ground through clear communication

The first step is to ask what you and your ex-spouse might do differently to encourage better communication between the households. Try and ask your ex what you all can do to create a healthy environment for the kids.

Ideally, get them to agree that parent-child relationship sabotage on either side ultimately hurts the children. It may be necessary to seek assistance from a family therapist to mediate.

2. Create defined boundaries

If your ex refuses to come on board to work as a team, then it’s time to create some definite boundaries prevent parent-child relationship sabotage. Don’t fall prey to the effects of their habits that sabotage the parent-child bond.

Examples include visit pick up and drop offs at public places only, and forbidding the parent-child relationship sabotaging parent access to your home.

Since emotions run high, it may be best to communicate strictly via text or email (not to mention you have documentation of negative comments in the event you end up in court).

3. Secure your communication channels

Technology is lending a helping hand, and there are several great apps out there to assist you in bridging the communication gap and are strictly about scheduling and the well-being of your children.

4. Stay in communication with your family attorney

Your ex or child’s biological parent may try to abuse the court system during or after your divorce to punish you. This can hurt financially, emotionally, and be a big drain on your free time. In this situation, you will need a family lawyer. They can argue before the court to point out unreasonable legal tactics they may be using and put an end to it, or seek restitution from the court.

5. Take responsibility for your new partner

In the event that an ex is especially vengeful toward your new partner, it is your responsibility to protect them to the best of your ability, even involving law enforcement if need be, along with protecting your parent-child relationship.

If your ex continually slanders your new spouse, put an end to it. You may need to block social media, emails, and even phone numbers on your partner’s behalf. You, as bio parent, should assume the role of handling all communication regarding the children with your ex. This will also help you prevent your ex from sabotaging your parent-child relationship.

Characteristics of secure, high-functioning co-parents

How do you know if you have a situation on your hands that demands immediate attention? Consider the following checklists which distinguish between functional and dysfunctional co-parenting relationships.

1. Flexible
2. Respectful
3. Fair
4. Focus on kids’ emotional well-being
5. Supportive
6. Safe
7. Respects boundaries
8. Positive and rational communication style
9. Respectful of new partners and stepparents

The result of demonstrating these traits in your co-parenting lives? Having children who handle change well, are emotionally resilient and possess the courage to take risks. They have not one, but many adults in their lives who care for them and provide key resources: money, time, guidance, and above all, LOVE.

This has a direct impact on both their physical and emotional health: kids operating in this type of environment develop hardy immune systems and secure attachment styles. This creates a healthy parent-child relationship between you and your child.

Traits of low-functioning, highly-anxious and sabotaging co-parents

1. Confrontational
2. Condescending or narcissistic
3. Pumps kids for information about an ex and their partner
4. Constant feeling of instability and even danger (physical threats)
5. Household “walks on eggshells” to avoid confrontations
6. Inflexible
7. Doesn’t pay child support/alimony on time (or at all)
8. Inconsistency with visitation
9. Keeps the child’s toys, clothes, etc.
10. Abuses court system
11. Uses children to communicate
12. Vents resentments and anger regarding an ex with children

The potential result of children living with such toxic parents? They may suffer from deep emotional wounds all their lives and be prone to chronic anxiety.

Furthermore, studies have shown that these kids are predisposed to addiction and may encounter difficulties in achieving fulfilling romantic lives. Their immune system will be compromised by the constant anxiety and instability.

Finally, one of two outcomes may occur: they may be too insecure to take appropriate risks, or may choose to take inappropriate risks that could deliver tragic results.

Put a plan into action

Remember: you can only control what goes on in your household. Doing the best you can means creating and maintaining a safe, supportive space for your young ones in a difficult situation. Bear in mind that your kids will eventually grow up and understand that you are there for them. While you can’t change what happens in your ex’s house, you CAN concentrate your efforts on creating a healthy environment.

If your child’s father is doing all he can to slander you and alienate you from your kids, don’t fight fire with fire, fight fire with water.

Teach your children the value of honesty, and how to look at evidence to determine what is true and false. When they go low, you go high.

Put equal effort into maintaining a constant, consistent presence in your children’s lives. The bottom line is DON’T GIVE UP. You owe it to your kids to let them know and feel that you have fought your darndest to have a good relationship, and that you’re doing all you can to make the best of a bad situation.

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Dealing with a Critical Partner and the “Criticism Dance”

Dealing with a critical partner and your particular "Criticism Dance" can be a challenge. Here are some general truths about the critical partner...

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Relationship in a Nutshell – What Happens When Couples Are in Love

It is taken for granted that everyone is natural at forming and maintaining relationships or getting involved in any form of romantic relationships. There are no relationship classes in school, our parents are themselves clueless and the quality of our interactions with others are left to chance.

Nonetheless, we all need to learn to understand each other more and communicate better. This is how we can enjoy sharing our lives with those we care about and understand the true meaning of love in a relationship.

We are products of our upbringing.

Our parental and societal value were engraved in us before we developed a conscious self-awareness and judgment. So, they all went straight in to form the core of our personalities and to determine our choices and behavior.

With awareness, we can make our own decisions.

Therefore, we no longer have to be puppets of our upbringing and we can now develop the power to create our personality, our behavior, our life the way WE choose to.

Mind you, some people don’t ask themselves these questions and so their awareness is limited and they continue to behave out of habits, ending up with the same outcome and being ‘Oh! So surprised’ about it.

Understanding what defines love in a relationship?

We decide to build a relationship with a person because we like them. We like people who are like us. So we get together and progress through the relationship expecting that they will turn out to be just like us in all ways.

Before you know it, the time has passed, attachment has developed, promises have been made and in some cases, other little humans have been born. An occasional disagreement went unnoticed and an argument was forgotten after a moment of intimacy and passion.

The true picture

But, a romantic relationship is not always a bed of roses. Do you understand what does a romantic relationship mean? Relationships have a little bit of both love and hate, agreement and disagreement, passion and resentment blended in a perfect mixture.

If your romantic relationship can survive the trying times, then you both as a couple have clearly unraveled the true meaning of love.

So, long before you realize (or sometimes after long), the intimacy subsides, the fire of romance dims in your once romantic relationship, and all you have left are two people who are now recognizing more and more little differences that are popping up here and there.

Little annoyances turn into grievances and with enough time even the resentment is not far behind. Top it up with expectation from your partner to live up to the promises you both made to each other as well as the pressure of everyday chores just add to the list.

The fault lies in us and not in our romantic relationship.

We have an inherent expectation that our partner’s behavior will remain the same forever.

Remembering the good old days

Just remember, how much extra thought and effort you have put for all the dates in your life, particularly that very first one?

With time, that much of plastering will be coming off as you will slowly return back to your true selves. In the romantic relationship, this period is called falling in love, floating in the clouds, the honeymoon phase, and so on.

Once you have changed back to yourself again, suddenly your partner’s expectations will not meet, arguments ensue, and resentments will take the place of love – Say hello to disappointment!

Honesty is always the best policy

So, remaining yourself in any situation will attract people who will like you for who you are and not for who you are trying to be. Hence, always ‘Welcome Honesty’ in your romantic relationship.

Also, if you are making this extra effort, it indicates that you are not happy with the way you are in your romantic relationship, or might feel ‘we are not enough’ for one another. And, to mask this “deformity”, you will try to put on an act. But, when you are upset, the misunderstandings will arise. Intentionally or not, you will end up deceiving the other person.

So what do you expect out of your romantic relationship with your partner? Obviously, love and harmony forever and ever.

Now you multiply this performance by two and it leaves very little room for surprise that the relationship is not going to work out just as you have planned.

Here we can see how trust and honesty are being compromised before you even meet another person. In the long-term relationship, such behavior manifests as jealousy, cheating, and distrust.

What can a boy or a girl do?

1. Get to know yourself better

If you don’t know who you are, your needs and preferences, how can you properly introduce yourself to another? If you are not having fun with yourself, are you really expecting someone else to enjoy your company?

2. Learn to enjoy your own company

Spend some time alone and explore your goals and desires.

We tend to wait for that someone special to bring the best in us and love us unconditionally, but all it really means is we can’t be bothered (or don’t know how) to iron out our own creases and want somebody else to do it for us.

3. Be honest with yourself

Build the trust with yourself, learn to express it and have a check in place that you and your message are being received by another the way you intend.

With the above, you are opening a channel of communication to your inner-self and your date, your partner, your child, and an occasional passerby.

Making sense of love and romantic relationships

In a more long-term romantic relationship, when the disagreement does take place, this honesty and the ability to express yourself will allow you to quickly identify your view on the situation and understand that of your partner’s.

So, enjoy harmony and feel loved in your romantic relationship.

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Addiction Guide for Married Couples Facing Addiction Together

Relationship dynamics within marriage are often a tricky territory to maneuver.

Each individual brings their own personal stuff into a marriage, which sometimes creates tension or misunderstandings, hurt feelings or frustration.

Consider yourself married to an addict or just add a joint drug or alcohol addiction to the domestic picture. The word dysfunctional may not begin to describe the difficulties in the marriage relationship.

When partners both manage to be engaged in substance use or when married couples face addiction together, and seek treatment for disorders, then it can present a unique set of recovery challenges. The addiction will have led to disordered accommodations and a co-dependent dynamic, with each party playing into an intricate dance of aiding and abetting the addiction behaviors of the other.

Emotional and physical intimacy has taken a back seat to drug seeking and using, and the ripple effect of negative consequences extends its reach into all facets of the relationship. The partners are sick.

Now, the question is can couples get sober together?

Yes! Married couples face addiction together. When such couples address the particular challenges of getting sober together, they know that it will be a tough row to hoe. The best way to tackle the task is to get sober together and then go through treatment together.

With this shared experience, each partner will have a clear understanding of what the other is experiencing in therapy, as well as learning the essential recovery skills together.

How addiction impacts a marriage

No matter which substance is involved, drugs and alcohol alter perceptions. They cause mood swings, irritability, laziness, irresponsibility, impaired judgment, and financial difficulties, all of which can cause an escalation of tempers, increased conflicts, broken trust, and general discord between the partners.

Worse, when your partner has an addiction which is becoming unpleasant for all or any form of serious drug addiction in the home can lead to domestic violence, child neglect or abuse, and divorce.

No two couples are alike. Each will respond to the consequences of drug or alcohol addiction in their own way depending on the strength of their relationship, their interpersonal relating skills, and the severity of the addiction. Regardless of coping skills, however, addiction eventually gains the upper hand in causing serious damage to the marriage. If the marriage is to survive, getting sober is the only true option available.

Why getting treatment together is better than going it alone

There is deep truth to the statement that addiction is a family disease.

Addiction behaviors within the family unit begin to upend normal functioning in many ways. Where the primary focus of any marriage should prioritize being caring, compassionate partners while tending to the needs of the children, addiction replaces those with the prioritizing of obtaining, using, and recovering from drug or alcohol abuse. Over time, the marriage suffers as addiction corrupts and erodes the relationship.

When married couples face addiction or seek treatment together, then the couple will benefit in many ways. These might include –

1. Team sober – Getting sober together provides a built-in mutual support system for the couple in recovery. Their shared experience generates a sense of understanding and empathy for the other.
2. Couples therapy – The core emphasis in couples rehab will center on addressing maladaptive behaviors that accommodated substance abuse in the home and make fundamental changes in recovery.
3. Matching toolbox – When both partners go to couples rehab together, they will learn and practice the same recovery skills, making the tools more effective.
4. Sentinels – Couples who go to rehab together become each other’s primary support once back home. By having each other’s back, the partners can provide feedback and guidance when threats to sobriety arise.

Because distress or anxiety about separation can be a barrier to treatment, couple rehab helps remove that obstacle.

When married couples face addiction together, they have a sense of comfort when entering rehab, knowing they will still be able to interact together during the treatment process.

This is how to fight addiction as a couple.

What to expect in couples rehab

Couples rehab offers both partners the opportunity to break free of the grip of addiction at the same time and in the same rehab program. The length of time will depend on the severity and length of history of the problem but usually ranges from 1-9 months in duration.

Some inpatient drug rehab for couples will provide separate rooms where others allow couples to sleep in the same room, thereby helping modern couples face addiction together.

1. Detox

The partners will typically undergo the medical detox process separately, with the process lasting anywhere from 5-14 days, again depending on the acuity of the addiction. Some individuals will be provided with medication-assisted treatment (MAT), drugs that can help withdrawal and reduce cravings in early recovery.

These medications are initiated during the latter phase of detox and withdrawal.

2. Treatment

During treatment, the couple will engage in various activities, some individually and some together. Therapy is provided in both individual and group formats.

Other elements include 12-step or similar recovery meetings, addiction education classes, relapse prevention planning, and holistic therapies.

Best therapies and recovery tools for helping addicted couples

Rehabs that accommodate couples, will provide specific types of psychotherapy that are oriented toward couples counseling.

Married couples facing addiction together can undergo these couples-focused therapies which help partners identify and change codependency or enabling behaviors, improve communication skills, and teach conflict resolution techniques and coping skills.

These couples-focused therapies include –

1. Behavioral couples therapy (BCT) –Designed for couples who struggle with substance abuse, BCT helps partners recognize the dysfunctional patterns that have reinforced addiction. The couple creates a recovery contract with each other while also learning problem-solving and communication skills.
2. Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) – EFT teaches partners how to better regulate their emotions and replace negative behaviors, such as hostility and criticism, with positive behaviors that encourage mutual support, leading to a deepening of the marriage bond.
3. Alcohol behavioral couples therapy (ABCT) – This is similar to BCT but specifically designed for couples with an alcohol problem. ABCT teaches recovery skills that promote abstinence so couples learn to have a healthy, loving marriage without drinking.

After couples rehab, it is recommended that couples participate in a recovery community such as Recovering Couples Anonymous (RCA), which is a 12-step group for couples. If an RCA group is not available, A.A., N.A., or SMART Recovery meetings with also provide the social support that is so important in early recovery.

So, when married couples face addiction together, they can go through this addiction guide for spouses and partners. This article will definitely help them fight their addiction and improve their marriage in the long run.

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The Science of Love

In his TEDx Talk, John Gottman explains how his scientific research has created a new understanding of love relationships.

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5 Ways to Make a Relationship Work If You’re in College

Many married couples who have been together for a while now usually started their relationships during college years. But with so many things to think about and your studies to prioritize, it definitely is a challenge to maintain a good and harmonious relationship with your significant other.

But there is always a way for people who are in love. And if you are willing to do whatever it takes, you might make it through your college years while you are still in each other’s arms.

Here are some ideas that you might want to put into practice to make your relationship work.

1. Squeeze in little moments together

Let’s face it. College life is very busy. If you want to pass and earn honors on your graduation day, it may even be more difficult. But if you want to keep your loved one close, put in some time and effort to spend some time together. Even a video call or just by sending some sweet nothings through text can help you remind your partner that you are thinking about them.

Better yet, if it’s possible, try to schedule even a short meet-up if you’ve got some time to spare. Maybe just meet at the park and share a snack together or maybe just carpool on your way to school.

2. Respect each other’s schedule

It is a good idea to let your partner know what’s keeping you busy during a certain time. And if you two have set up a date and this is something you’ve both agreed upon, make an effort to meet and be there as agreed upon.

If you value your partner’s plans and life goals, you should make sure that you value every moment that they decide to spend with you.

3. Live close by

Distance makes the heart grow fonder. But keeping the love of your life within a car drive away, or even a few units away is even better.

If it’s an option for you to live near each other, do it. This way, you get to make the most of every free time that you have and turn it into a special moment with your loved one.

4. Establish good communication habits

Make it a habit to always talk to your partner. Do your best to be transparent and always be honest to each other. And if scheduling constant meetups is not always an option, find ways to keep your lines open.

Technology has made it easier for us to always stay in touch with people, no matter the distance. Set up your formal communication format and always keep your lines open. Whether it’s a text, call or a video chat, make it a point to always communicate with each other.

Apart from tech-based communications, it’s more important that you get to spend time to face each other and talk. No high tech communication tool or app can beat your special face-to-face chats.

5. Make small gestures of appreciation

Did your partner put in some efforts to prepare and share a candlelit dinner last night? Or maybe your partner cancelled a night with friends just to be with you? Let them know how much you appreciate what they did. It doesn’t have to be flashy.

A simple love note in the morning or something that your partner truly enjoys can already do wonders.

It’s not always about making an outlandish show of your love. What’s important is that you get to constantly remind your loved one how much you value what you two have. If the person you are with is the one that you see yourself with for the rest of your life, make an effort to show how much you love them. And remember that no matter how busy you can be, there can always be a way for the two of you to spend memorable moments together and make things work no matter how hectic college life can be.

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