If you want to enhance your sense of self and your romantic partnership during this time, consider exploring these five strategies.
The post Redefining Individuality and Togetherness During Quarantine appeared first on The Gottman Institute.
No man is a superhuman, even when we want them to be. Women expect men to have it all together at all times, to never be emotional or insecure or need TLC. But men are human too and sometimes they need reassurance because they have fears about being hurt, abandoned or not being good enough.
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The post Men Have Fears About Relationships Too appeared first on Loving FLR.
In her new book, co-founder and CEO of the Mindsight Institute Caroline Welch takes readers on a mindfulness journey to help them de-stress and cultivate inner peace.
The post The Gift of Presence: A Mindfulness Guide for Women appeared first on The Gottman Institute.
Although most couples wish for the honeymoon phase to last forever, the experienced ones know that the later stages of a relationship can be just as exciting and even more. But, you need to know how to explore your sexuality, and how to talk about sex with your partner, no holds barred.
Exploring your sexuality takes time and inner strength, while also being vulnerable at the same time. Allow yourself to experiment, and stumble upon exciting and confusing findings.
But first, for those looking up for “exploring sexuality meaning”, here’s a shot at it.
It means knowing your sexual likes, dislikes, preferences, and the willingness to seek knowledge that will lead to a happy, and satisfying sexual relationship with your partner.
The thing is, later in marriage, we become more familiar with our partner’s imperfections – and we fall in love with them, too. In short, we start loving each other for who we really are, and this is when the true adventure begins.
The importance of exploring your sexuality within marriage is not only about exploring sex, but first and foremost, it is about strengthening intimacy, developing trust, sexual communication and learning how to love ourselves.
Our own needs and desires, and exploring your own sexuality are something that we might not be entirely aware of.
Discovering this is the first step in the process of exploring your sexuality.
The simpler part of this process is thinking about certain interests and desires that you may have, like role play, for example. For this part, you can write down all the things that you know you already like, things that you would like to try, and things that you are not interested in trying at all.
The more complicated part is understanding these desires.
As you get on the journey of exploring your sexuality, you will become more aware of your emotional states, motivations, and emotions.
It is another aspect of building a good relationship with not just your partner but yourself, too. So, the question is not only what you want to do, but also how you want to feel. This question can refer to either a specific situation or your sex life in general.
Moreover, while exploring your sexuality, keep in mind that this is not something you are supposed to understand the first time you think about it.
On the contrary, it is often a slightly scary yet exciting process. So be open, kind, and patient with yourself.
Nobody can talk about their sexual needs or engage in sex talk without exposing their vulnerabilities, so discussing sex with your partner is not going to be easy.
A good place to start when beginning to exploring your sexuality is telling your partner that you would like to talk about improving your sex life, and changes in marriage, so that they also have time to think and reflect about it.
The conversation about sexual exploration in marriage needs to happen in a neutral setting.
So, not after you’ve had sex, and preferably not even in the bedroom. Make sure that you are both feeling relaxed and comfortable.
The first part of the conversation should be about intimacy and being able to feel completely safe, honest, and free in front of each other. It is important to acknowledge if there is anything stopping you from fully enjoying yourselves. It could be work-related stress, kids, some health issue, or anything really.
In this conversation, you’re not supposed to solve those problems right away – you’re just supposed to state them. You may feel a bit uneasy, or even anxious, so it’s important to listen and avoid judging. Feeling comfortable talking about one’s own sexual needs sometimes takes practice, but it’s the basis of a fulfilling sex life.
Once you both feel comfortable talking about intimacy, you can start discussing and exploring your sexuality around specific things you are interested in. You can ask your partner to make a list of things they would like to try, and a list of things that they would rather avoid.
Once you make the lists, see what they have in common. You can do this in any way you are comfortable with, whether separately or taking turns reading the lists. If there are things that you’d both like to try, take the time to do some planning before deep-diving into exploring your sexuality.
For instance, if there are toys or lingerie involved, you can have a cup of coffee, casually browse an adult shop together, and have fun just looking at things. Talk about it, feel free to make jokes about things, and remember that this is about your relationship and making it stronger through fun and pleasure.
Whatever you decide to do, start small, and always check up on each other after. While for many people, these types of conversations may feel uncomfortable at first, with time, they will become a healthy habit. Talk about how things went after each exploration, and let your partner know whether you would like to do anything differently next time.
Also watch:
Make sure not to criticize, blame, or judge your partner, as it might make them withdraw from the whole idea.
Also, don’t worry about being perfect, and don’t take things too seriously. If you have good communication, establish clear boundaries, and adopt an open-minded, loving attitude, your sex life will become one less thing to worry about.
Last but not least, remember that sexual compatibility is not about having similar things on the list (even though it helps). It is primarily about partnering behavior in relationships and how you approach each of those things and how you make your spouse feel in the process of exploring your sexuality. So, have fun, and enjoy life with the person you love!
The post The Importance of Exploring Your Sexuality Within a Marriage appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.
How I Have Survived Working From Home With A Toddler … And How You Can Too
Scanning news headlines on COVID-19 every day, and seeing more and more people starting to cocoon in their homes, is a very strange and surreal reality.
The fact that we don’t have a time span for how long this new reality will last can be disconcerting at times.
However, as someone who is regularly working from home with a toddler, who doesn’t nap, things can get challenging during this Coronavirus pandemic.
So, many of you might be wondering how to work from home with kids during these testing times?
Here are some tips for working from home effectively. I picked these ‘work from home’ tips along the way, as they make my everyday life a little bit easier.
I am an educator, and my first love has always been teaching. In our training, we are taught to have an objective for what we are teaching, which is what I try to implement in my home school now.
After completing these series of exercises/assignments, I think of the skill set I would like my students (and now my own kids) to develop. In essence, what is the point of what we are doing?
During homeschooling, keep in mind what you want the end goal to be, or even have just a single idea you want to focus on.
My daughter started learning how to knit recently, and really enjoys it. My other daughter wants to learn her multiplication tables.
These are our upcoming goals while we are quarantining ourselves this week. They don’t necessarily have to be educational, and can even be anything you have been meaning to teach your kids and never got around to doing.
Here is a perfect time!
I want to make this experience as fun as possible for my kids. I certainly wouldn’t want them thinking that they being home 24-7 makes my life, and family management that much harder.
They’re young, and they are just excited about no school and no end of year testing. I am mindful to let them know how much fun we have as a family when we are together.
I want them to look back on this moment 20 years from now, thinking that it was strange, but we made the best of it and had some fun.
In that vein, I have also created a daily schedule that leaves room for activities like baking, making tents, drawing, etc., and the extra inbuilt flexibility allows me to work from home in the afternoons, and also meet everyday household needs.
Carve out work time whenever you can throughout the day. It might be challenging to have a strict or regimented schedule in place.
As someone who has been working from home for a few years now, I find that waking up an hour and a half before the kids, gives me a good amount of uninterrupted time.
It goes on the same lines as finding time in the afternoon and then working late into the evening after the kids are gone to bed.
It’s really the only way I have been able to manage to work from home, given my toddler doesn’t nap.
I find that the days I am most productive are the days that I change out of sweats or pajamas. It sets the tone to work from home.
If I am in my favorite pair of baggy pajamas, I end up having a slower day where I end up accomplishing very little. I feel that the clothes change my attitude and set my tone for the day.
For me, the more put-together (but still comfortable, because I am working from home after all), I am, the more productive I am.
Maybe, it’s a psychological effect, but to make your ‘work from home’ regime more productive, ditch your favorite pajamas, and make an effort to wear something as if you were stepping out to run errands.
I cook all our meals at home. I’m talking about breakfast, school lunches, and dinner.
I have fond memories of my mom cooking meals for us, and I try to carry on the same tradition. This doesn’t mean that I am in the kitchen every day making something from scratch.
I have about 10 recipes that I make most often and interchange them every week. I try to have all my groceries done on one day, and chop all the vegetables, and do smoothie preps that same day.
The next day (usually Sunday), I’ll cook 3-4 dishes at one time, and we use them throughout the week. This takes me easily to Wednesday – sometimes Thursday – with my fridge fully stocked with ready to eat meals.
I’ll make something easy on Instapot the other days. I find that this habit ends up generally being more cost-effective, and healthier.
Our kids get a free choice on what they would like to eat on Fridays, but everything is set for them on the other days.
Watch this video for some easy food recipes to cook at home:
Working from home with kids is an adventure on a regular basis, but now with 3 kids at home full-time, it is more challenging than ever.
The other day I had an important phone call, but my toddler kept shouting in the background and asking who I was talking to. I ended up having to explain that I worked from home and my baby was with me.
These days, and in these times, people are more understanding. Younger kids can interrupt phone calls, and video conferencing.
You can either leave phone calls for when your kids are occupied. And sometimes, you just have to roll with it and introduce them to your peers and co-workers.
When you’re working from home, it’s really easy to put off working on something and run over to empty the dishwasher or anything else that you’ve had pending for a while.
It’s hard to stay at your desk, without letting little interruptions get in your way. Carve out different times for different things.
Make a list of 2-3 essential tasks you would like to accomplish that day and try to get through that list.
In between this busy schedule, take time out for yourself, whether that means quietly sitting and having your morning coffee, a hot shower at the end of the day, or a small break during the kids’ play break.
In the midst of catering to everyone’s needs, don’t forget your own.
For me, I enjoy 2 cups of coffee in the morning by myself.
My first cup is a necessity, and the second one is more leisurely, but I really savor this time, when the house is quiet and everyone is asleep. It allows me to collect my thoughts, check my calendar and set the tone for the day.
But above it all, when you are set to work from home, throw out the rules that don’t work in your dynamic, and breathe.
Remember that this moment will be a distant memory someday. How would you like to remember it by?
The post Key Tips to Work From Home and Manage Kids Amidst Covid-19 Pandemic appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.
It’s Otto writing and I have a question for you… It’s a question that’s really important (especially in these crazy times we’re living in right now…) The question is… What are you trying to control in your life? Even if you aren’t aware of it, …
The Role of Control in Love, Relationships, Business and Life Read More »
The post The Role of Control in Love, Relationships, Business and Life appeared first on Susie & Otto Collins.
Casual dating or an open relationship is an appealing concept to many people that just want to have some fun with other people.
You can go out once or twice and not have to worry about bigger commitments. So the question, do open relationships work, lies in the affirmative for them.
Then there are those that continue a long-term relationship with someone while still dating others. This sort of open relationship has some obvious perks to those that aren’t ready to commit, but really like the person they are with.
So, are these relationships a good idea or a dangerous prospect?
An open relationship gives you the opportunity to seek relationships with other people while continuing to see your partner.
It basically means that you aren’t exclusive to each other and have the freedom to pursue other relationships. The rules for an open relationship always depend on the couple.
It is up to you and your partner to decide whether this means that you can be completely free to see as many people as you want. There is also the question of whether or not this should include sexual relationships or not.
So, how to deal with an open relationship?
Many couples can find an approach that suits them well.
Being in an open relationship isn’t uncommon for young people that aren’t ready to commit to use open relationships for dating. However, there are pros and cons of an open relationship. It is important to consider both sides before deciding if this is right for you.
The main advantages here are:
Open relationship dating gives freedom from restraints
The main advantage here is that a casual relationship gives you more freedom to do what you want while dating. One of the problems with a committed relationship is that while you may care for that person, you end up in their world.
You can feel tied to that one person to the point where you lose yourself and some of the things you like to do. There can be times when the compromises become a little too restrictive. An open relationship removes this restriction.
You can spend time with multiple people on a range of dates where you get to enjoy a lot more experiences. This can be perfect for those that are younger, perhaps just out of college, that are looking to explore their options and learn more about the world.
Of course, experimentation with different dating experiences also means a chance to date different types of people.
If you commit to being with one person from an early age with no room to date anyone else, you could miss out on some great relationships.
An open approach makes it more likely to strike up a conversation at a bar or a concert with a like-minded individual.
You can spend time with them on dates completely guilt-free if you are in a casual relationship.
This freedom to date different people can help you figure out what your interests are, who you prefer to be with and who you are as a person. On that note, we often overlook the fact that we all change and evolve as we get older.
We get scared of outgrowing college sweethearts because our needs, opinions or situations change.
Experimentation in an open relationship is also ideal for those that are still coming to terms with their sexuality.
The freedom to be with other people means dating anyone you like without restricting yourself on the basis of gender and sexual orientation.
For example, if you are bisexual or pansexual, but have only had committed relationships with one sex or gender, this is a great way to learn more about your tastes and preferences.
There is no reason to be stuck in a monogamous relationship with a heterosexual man, for example, and miss out on relationships with a bisexual or gay woman.
You may think that you will be getting the best of both worlds when you agree to a casual relationship but that isn’t necessarily the case.
There are risks involved and there is a good chance that you won’t always be on the same page. If you are considering moving onto an open relationship with a friend or partner, consider the following.
There are many couples that use the term open purely to describe their ability to go out and seek other relationships.
It doesn’t always mean that they are open about the intentions, feelings or their experiences. It is important that you are comfortable with the level of honesty and disclosure in this relationship.
There are pros and cons to this amount of openness and honesty.
However, if you are closed off and secretive about your other relationships and experiences, this could backfire. What happens if you have been pursuing the same person without realising?
Should you both be aware of your sexual history for the sake of your health and well-being?
This leads to another important point. Is your partner practising safe sex when they aren’t with you?
You may trust them enough to be sure that they would never put you at risk like that. But, if they are having casual sex with other people, there is that risk that one of those other partners has an STI.
These relationships can be great when there truly are no strings attached, as was advertised when you first started. But this can change quite easily.
One of you could end up developing deeper feelings where you want more from the relationship. You might even fall in love.
This could be a beautiful thing if the feeling is mutual and you decide to switch to a committed relationship. But, is that likely?
What happens when you begin to fall in love and decide you no longer want to sleep with other people, but your partner doesn’t feel the same?
It could be too easy to become trapped in a relationship that is only open and positive on one side. Either you talk to your partner and ask them to commit, continue with this unhappy situation or walk away.
The best approach to any relationship will always depend on the personal feelings and situation. There is no golden rule for all couples. For example, if you are friends with someone that you have trusted for years, and you are both keen to try out an open relationship, it might work.
If you have that honesty and prior relationship then you might have a strong foundation where you get to have fun and experiment. If you are already in a committed, monogamous relationship then it might be a different story.
Some couples will try and fix a failing relationship by allowing partners to find what they are missing elsewhere.
This can be great for those that lack sexual fulfilment or that need a break from their routine.
But, it can be heartbreaking for those that now have to watch other people break down the protective walls around the relationship.
Also watch:
Consider your options carefully
If you are curious about the concept of an open relationship, take your time to really think about the pros and cons.
If you have someone where everything is casual and you both just want to have a bit more fun, it might work for a while. It all depends on what you both want out of the relationship.
If you are both convinced that committed relationships aren’t for you, and you have the emotional strength to see your partner with other people, give it a shot. Just prepare yourself for the moments when it stops being fun and you need to move on.
The post Are Open Relationships Worth the Risk? appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.
Struggling with finances as a New Parent? Follow these 9 Tips to Save Money!
Babies can add joy and laughter to the boring lives of parents, but they also add a whole new list of costs to the family budget.
From clothing and accessories to nursery items to baby gears, the list seems to be endless. And. amidst all this buying spree, saving money seems to be an impossible dream.
Well, it can be really hard for you to manage your expenses while deciding what is necessary to buy and what is not.
If you are a new parent who is fretting over how to save money, and eagerly looking for money management tips, and tips for new parents, look no further.
Let this article help you to ease your financial strain with essential new parent advice, and money-saving tips.
One of the key tips on money management is to choose the convertible gear. Thanks to the advanced technology, you can easily find the gear that will grow with your baby.
From strollers that convert from newborn to toddler mode to cribs that convert into toddler beds, there are various options out there. Such convertible gears help reduce the number of items you need to buy, helping you cut the costs.
For instance, when your baby will grow into a toddler, you will not have to buy a new bed or a new stroller if the existing ones can be converted to fit the needs of your growing child.
Additionally, items like bouncy seats and high chairs also come with replacement parts, making it easier to fix them, if broken.
Planning to breastfeed your baby? A great choice for both your baby and your money management endeavor!
However, spending that saved money on an entire set of nursing clothing would not be a wise decision to make.
Zip up hoodies, button-down shirts, and even tank tops and t-shirts can do the job just as good as nursing tops.
Additionally, a big scarf would be as good as a nursing cover if you choose to cover up during the nursing time.
So, don’t spend too much on your nursing clothing. They might tempt you, especially if you are first-time mom-to-be, but don’t let yourself fall for them.
Tempting to buy cute little baby clothing? I know, those tiny shoes are so cute! And those sleep-suits look simply adorable. But, don’t let them trap the mommy or daddy side of you into their cuteness.
Those shoes or sleep-suits can wait in that store. Even if they sold out, you could always find some cuter ones. So, don’t rush. As a part of effective money management, buy them when there is a sale.
Make a list of things you need to buy and purchase them during flash sales. Since babies grow really quickly, spending a hefty amount on their clothes and shoes would only make your financial struggles more complicated.
So, act smartly, purchase wisely, and save money.
As mentioned earlier, babies grow really fast, it is better to purchase clothes that are one size up. It will help your baby grow into the clothing without outgrowing it too swiftly.
Additionally, the pants or leggings can turn into capris or dresses can turn into shirts as your baby grows. After all, money management is about how you utilize things.
Packaged baby food can be pretty pricey. So, why not mash those fruits or veggies yourself?
In fact, once your baby has been introduced to solid foods, sharing your meal with them is also a good idea. Making them eat table food is most likely to develop good eating habits.
They will be less picky about their food when they grow up. And, what’s better than a home-made healthy meal?
So, start sharing for efficient money management and to ease that financial strain.
Watch this video for tips to make baby food at home:
Charmed by those flamboyant baby bags?
Trust me, that tote or backpack you already have can do the job as good as those pricey diaper bags.
Moreover, if you choose to exclusively breastfeed your baby, you wouldn’t have much to carry in your bag. But, even if you choose to give formula, a bottle and a container won’t take much room in your bag.
If you still think you do need a baby bag, go for the less expensive one. The cheap ones can be as useful as the expensive ones.
Creating a budget is an imerative part of money management.
Money management can be really helpful in managing your finances. It helps you know where exactly your money is going and how to make cuts.
Once you start tracking your spending, it helps you identify the areas where you can save money.
Having a monthly budget allows you to become more aware of how to spend wisely. It helps you adjust your spending habits.
Once you are done creating a budget, try reducing monthly expenses. Remember, every buck you save in another dollar towards your baby expenses.
Here are a few self money management to help you cut down your futile expenses:
Want to stick to your money management plans?
Well, it’s time to ditch your credit cards. Simply, throw them out of your life, if you want to have a strong financial plan!
Credit cards can be really draining your bank account. Hence, to control extra expenses and spend more on the baby essentials, it is important to consider these small changes in your life.
Final words
From budgeting to reducing unnecessary expenses, there are quite a lot of changes that you can incorporate in your daily life to see big results. Small changes in spending can lead to a big amount of saved money.
When life can be enjoyed in less, why spend more and create a financial strain? It’s all about perspective and how you manage things. So, spend smartly and save greatly!
After all, it takes a lot of time and energy to earn the money that you can spend in just 5 minutes. Saving money would ensure your little one enters the world and grows in a financially stable environment.
The post 9 Essential Money Management Tips for New Parents appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.
Dating your spouse even when you’ve been together for many years is one of the surefire ways to keep the romance in your relationship alive. Initially, in the honeymoon phase, there is no dearth of date ideas for married couples.
Indeed, having dinner at your favorite restaurant or visiting your local cinema to catch a movie can be fun as one of the good date ideas . But let’s be honest, such date ideas for couples can get old and boring as years go by.
If you and your partner are one of those couples who have been married for a long time, it could be a challenge to spice up date nights, as you’re probably running out of new ideas to spend quality time together.
That’s totally understandable—but don’t you worry about it too much, because we’ve got a list of excellent, romantic date ideas to rekindle that sense of excitement and adventure you’ve been missing:
Memorable dating ideas 101
If food is something you and your spouse bond over, and you both are into eating out, then this date idea could be the perfect way to spend the day with your partner.
Start by trying out a new bistro that has amazing appetizers—maybe even pair it with a glass of sangria or a nice cocktail.
After that, head over to a nearby restaurant that you both haven’t tried for a sumptuous dinner. If you have a sweet tooth, then you could finish up someplace else that serves mouthwatering desserts.
If you feel like having a nice walk in the park with your partner is no longer as romantic as it used to, it’s time to whip out that picnic basket that has been sitting in your attic for years and go on a picnic instead.
To make it extra special, you can prepare the meal you’ll be bringing with your partner. It doesn’t have to be fancy—you can make Caprese sandwiches or a simple Greek salad to share. Don’t forget to bring with you a bottle of wine and some blankets to rest on while enjoying the beautiful scenery and fresh air.
If you’re a couple who enjoys spending time together in the kitchen whipping up meals for your kids, you might want to check out cooking classes in your local area—Vietnamese or Thai cuisines are certainly worth looking into.
You’ll not only learn new skills and exciting new dishes, but you can also potentially meet like-minded people and gain new friends.
Plus, cooking is a great way to take your mind off of the mundane responsibilities like pending chores for even just a few hours.In fact, as you will both discover that the art of cooking is a therapy in itself.
Also watch some exciting date night dinners:
Speaking of taking your mind off of the mundane, art galleries and museums are a great way to spend some well-deserved quality time with your partner, as art never fails to spark interesting conversations.
Even if you’re not an artist or nothing close to an art expert, visiting a gallery can be exciting and fun. To top it off, imagine taking in the beauty of it all while quite possibly scoring some free drinks and snacks!
If you’re looking for something more exciting, you can check out museums that feature interactive art exhibits like the Museum of Ice Cream in San Francisco.
If you’re interested in art, but want something even more interactive, you might want to take up a pottery or painting class with your spouse.
Get down and dirty, and learn the basics of pottery. Want to add more spice to the night?
You can check out a paint and sip studio nearby for an evening of fun and socializing with an artful twist.
Wine-tasting is definitely classy and romantic—you can ask everyone you know, surely they’ll agree.
If you’ve been stuck in a dating rut for a while now, this could be a great way to get out.
The best part is, you don’t even have to travel to a vineyard for this kind of date!
You can simply visit a local wine bar that hosts tasting events to guide you through the wine-tasting experience. To help you choose the right wine-tasting event, before giving your local wine bar a visit, make sure you know what bottles you and your spouse enjoy.
You can’t go wrong with choosing to volunteer as couples for a worthy cause. Giving back to your community is a fulfilling way to spend your day with your partner.
Aside from being able to help those in need, volunteering may help further strengthen your relationship while gaining new skills and memorable experiences.
Also, because volunteering is known to trigger the brain’s reward center, you’ll surely experience a shared feeling of fulfillment.
Whether you’ve been married for a year or over a decade, daily cuddling and dating your spouse are some of the secrets to a long-lasting and happy marriage. It’s time to break out of the dreaded dating rut and explore these date night ideas.
Get out there and have some fun!
The post 7 Memorable Date Ideas for You and Your Spouse to Reignite Your Relationship appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.
Are you facing road bumps in the journey of your marriage? Or, are you seeing the signs, your marriage is falling apart?
Sometimes when you fail to notice the sign, you take the wrong turn. Due to this, you end up in the wrong place.
But you can always make a U-turn and get back on the right path by focusing on where you’re headed.
Similarly, when your marriage hits a bumpy ground it is wise to look into the matter before it is too late!
If you have exclaimed by now that- my marriage is falling apart, and you are searching for ways to stop your marriage from falling apart, you have landed in the right place.
In this article, we have mentioned 6 ways to save your marriage falling apart, and help you fix your relationship.
So, how to save a marriage that is falling apart?
Often, couples try to mend the marriage when things have already turned ugly. Hence, at times it becomes impossible to save their relationship.
If you have noticed the signs or are actually facing a problem, don’t ignore it. Act on them immediately, when you still have time to salvage the relationship.
The moment you realize something wrong in the marriage, ensure you’re doing something about it.
Have an honest and open conversation with your spouse. Talk about what’s bothering you and get it fixed.
It is, of course, easier said than done. But remember, the key to a happy married life is always communication.
To lead a happy marriage, always work on the situation that is causing problems. And instead of playing the blame game, look at issues as a passing phase of life.
For example, do not assume harsh things if your spouse is late from work. Maybe there was too much traffic or they were in a meeting.
Always think twice before condemning your partner. This way, you can avoid unnecessary fights.
When it comes to marriage, build your good relationship on these three pillars: Intimacy, Attraction Alignment, and Emotional Connection.
Ensuring these pillars are strong and intact, you can develop a happy, well-balanced and healthy relationship with your spouse.
Your marriage will be perceived as good when all three pillars are aligned.
So, when you notice the signs of marriage falling apart, it is quite possible that one of them is unsteady. So keep assessing which pillar needs attention and work on it right away.
You say you are spending the majority of your time with your spouse. Does it involve actual communication or do you simply watch TV sitting next to each other?
If it is the latter, then you are doing it wrong!
The number of hours spent with your spouse doesn’t matter. What matters is how you spend it. More than quantity, it is the quality that matters the most.
So, how to save your marriage from falling apart?
Next time, maybe help them with grocery shopping, everyday chores or dinner preparations.
Add significance to the time spent together. Share your fears, happy memories, life issues, and successes with one another. Using this, make a strong foundation for your relationship.
When faced with a conflict, use it to your advantage. See it as a chance for you to grow and use it to repair your marriage.
Facing issues does not mean that your marriage has come to an end. Sometimes it means a new phase is about to begin.
Think of how you can use your problems to nurture the relationship. When you learn from your mistakes, it makes fixing your marriage easier and evades future problems.
When you see your marriage falling apart, make a list of things you love about your spouse. Remind yourself why you love being with them.
At times, remembering the things that kept you going for so long can help solve problems. It also pushes you to try and make things work.
Watch this video to build a happy marriage and avoid separation:
The bottom line
Marriage is a beautiful bond, but it does have its own ups and downs. When you notice your marriage falling apart, to reinforce the relationship, you have to work your way through it.
Saving your marriage requires hard work. And you have to move past the hurdles, to take it over the line!
The post Is Your Marriage Falling Apart- Here’s How You Can Fix It appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.
A divorce is the official termination of a legal marriage; a marriage annulment says there was no marriage.
Divorces are a lot more common, but they are also much more complicated than what marriage annulments are. Most couples go for divorces because they don’t have the option of getting their marriage annulled.
But what is a marriage annulment?
An annulment of marriage claims that the marriage was never valid. After a person goes through an annulment, their status changes to “single,” as opposed to “divorced.”
Marriage annulments in Arizona are rare; however, couples do have the option of getting a marriage annulled if they meet certain requirements.
So why would a couple opt for a marriage annulment over a divorce? And how long after marriage can you get an annulment?
Let’s take a look:
Marriage annulments are a source of relief for individuals who shouldn’t have been married in the first place.
For example, one of the reasons for annulment of marriage is if a couple gets married and the wife later discovers that her husband already had a family she wasn’t aware of, she has the right to ask for an annulment.
For a couple to be eligible for a marriage annulment, they must meet one of the following:
If either of the spouses lied to the other about something important like their age, being already married, financial situation, etc., they qualify for a marriage annulment.
Hiding a huge fact about one’s life, like a serious criminal record, can cause the spouse to seek an annulment.
Couples who find out after getting married that they don’t agree about having children can opt for an annulment.
The nightmare of discovering a spouse is actually a close family relative can force an individual to annul a marriage.
If one spouse finds out that the other is impotent after marriage, they have the right to get an annulment in that case as well.
In the past, the minimum age of marriage in Arizona was a source of controversy.
For the longest time, there wasn’t a clear minimum age. Today, the legal age is 18; however, a person can get married with the consent of their parents after the age of 16.
If an individual didn’t have the mental capacity to consent to marriage, they could get an annulment.
Typically these things are discovered in the earlier stages of a marriage. Rarely do couples find out major facts about their partners after spending years together.
If a spouse learns problematic things about their partner years into their marriage, they will have to check their state’s laws and work with a family lawyer to understand their options.
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Getting a religious annulment is different from getting one through the court.
Couples that choose to get marriage annulment through the Catholic Church will have to sit with a diocesan tribunal that decides whether or not they can get an annulment. Annulments by the tribunal will be given based on honesty, maturity, and emotional stability.
If the marriage annulment is granted, then both parties are permitted to remarry in the church.
In Arizona, the procedure to get an annulment isn’t too different from getting a divorce.
The injured party can file a petition and state the grounds for an annulment if they have been residing in the state for at least 90 days.
Based on the evidence they provide, the court will decide whether or not the annulment should be granted.
The court will assess the validity of the claims the injured party makes before deciding whether the marriage is void or null. If the marriage is annulled, the involved individuals are allowed to marry others.
Bear in mind that after the couple has been granted an annulment, they no longer have rights over their previous partner’s property. They forfeit the rights over marital assets, including the right to inherit property from their former partner and spousal maintenance (alimony).
Because annulments aren’t very common, people still have many misconceptions about the procedure, including the following:
1. Annulment isn’t a quick divorce
The annulment process is quicker than a divorce, but it’s not an expedited divorce. That being said, an annulment does share similarities with divorce.
A court will award child custody to either one or both parents, and the parent will be required to pay child support.
The biggest difference between an annulment and divorce is that in the former, the court treats the marriage like it never happened; in a divorce, the court acknowledges the marriage.
If the marriage wasn’t legal in the first place, why does anyone need to file a petition?
It’s important to go through the annulment process for legal purposes. It needs to go on record that the marriage has been annulled to avoid legal complications later on.
By officially annulling the marriage, the court can make decisions on issues like child support, parenting time, the division of debt and property, etc.
The court has the right to deny annulment if it believes a legal marriage exists. In such cases, the spouses will have to get in touch with a family law attorney or a divorce lawyer.
2. It’s easier to annul a short marriage
Contrary to what many believe, the duration of a marriage doesn’t have an impact on annulment proceedings.
A valid marriage of just 2 weeks can be denied annulment, while a forced marriage that lasted 5 years can be annulled, based solely on the fact that it wasn’t valid.
The only distinguishing factor that determines whether a couple should get a divorce or an annulment is the validity of the marriage.
A valid short marriage will still have to go through a divorce.
3. Common-law marriages
Common-law marriages aren’t permitted in Arizona; there are only a few states in the country that allow common-law marriages.
A couple that is romantically involved may be living together, but they won’t legally be considered married unless they make it official.
A couple got into a common-law marriage in a state like Texas, where such marriages are valid will have to get a divorce in Arizona.
If you suspect that you may be in an invalid marriage and are seeking separation from your spouse, contact an experienced family law attorney in Arizona that understands annulment and divorce proceedings.
The post Understanding Marriage Annulment in the Sate of Arizona appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.
To stay sane and happy on your wedding day shouldn’t have to be a concern—after all, this should be one of the happiest days in your life!
But emotions are bound to be running high and maintaining your sanity becomes a challenge.
Excitement, glee, and giddy ecstasy all come hand-in-hand with the special occasion. And not only is it natural, but it’s also exceedingly common to feel overwhelmed and exhausted with the whole affair, and the last thing anyone wants on their wedding day is a looming sense of anxiety or dread.
So what steps can you take to help ease the stress and ensure a happy Big Day? Tucker in because we’ve compiled a list of tips to stay sane and happy on your wedding day.
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Maybe you think your to-do-list is so overwhelming that friends and family will resent you once the wedding is over? Are you trying to do everything yourself and still struggling to stay sane and happy?
Actually, it’s more than likely that the exact opposite is true! Studies suggest that people like us more when we ask for help. Here’s another advice for the bride on her wedding day.
Start parceling out that to-do-list if you want to stay sane and happy.
If you’re planning a traditional ceremony, then you’ve probably already appointed your maid (or man) of honor.
It’s customarily expected that this special friend will handle some of those overwhelming details, pick up those persistent calls, or even answer questions from your guests.But in today’s modern wedding, this sort of task-appointing is becoming less and less common.
The attendant of honor is often asked to write a “killer toast” and little more. And yes, the reception toast is exceedingly important. And it’s true that writing it all can cause a wild amount of stress and take up a good chunk of time but you’re the one getting married- your mental health takes priority.
One of the tips for a smooth wedding day, it’s okay to ask for a little or a lot of help!
Consider using a Kanban-inspired app to keep those tasks organized, and don’t limit your helpers to just your maid or man of honor. Gather everyone who seems interested (including your mother-in-law!), and then watch as your crew annihilates that to-do-list!
Or maybe you’re planning a destination elopement and don’t have attendees? Well, that’s what wedding coordinators are there for, so you can relax and indulge in your vacation. And if you have any questions or concerns, a good wedding planning won’t hesitate to put you at ease.
If you really want to stay sane and happy, don’t be afraid to say “Wait.”
Schedule in time for yourself just as you do for important wedding business.
One of the tips to save your sanity is to block out 20 minutes or even several hours during a day when you know you’ll be the most overwhelmed. And make sure to keep that appointment with yourself!
Sometimes “Me Time” simply means a spontaneous second or two to collect your thoughts. Or a twenty-minute Starbucks break. Or even a day-long Netflix binge. Every second of self-care counts!
When you’re happy, everyone is happier! You (and your partner) will appreciate how your “Me Time” rejuvenates your spirits.
Who says codewords are just for spies?
Codewords are a great way to avoid uncomfortable whispers or sidelong glances while still keeping something on the down-low. Maybe you’re prone to social anxiety? Or maybe you have a hard time being around your in-laws after they’ve had a few drinks?
Creating a codeword gives you the ability to discreetly draw attention to the situation while signaling to your designated helpers that their assistance is needed ASAP.
When your partner is clear that “I need a coffee break” means you’re on the verge of an anxiety attack, they will be able to leap into action and do whatever needs to be done in order to give you some space.
Likewise, if your person-of-honor understands that “My feet are killing me” translates to “Save me from my in-law,” they’ll know exactly when to turn to your new mother and ask to see pics of her Corgi–allowing you plenty of time to slip away as she happily digs out her phone.
Onsite coordinators keep a detailed list of your priorities and concerns and are experts in dealing with all the snares that seem to crop up on wedding days.Be sure to keep your wedding planner up-to-date on all the issues that might crop up. An informed wedding planner helps to ensure that your Big Day goes according to plan.
Are there complicated family dynamics? Does your friend not want to be near the best-man because of a relationship that went sour years ago? Is your sister insisting that a song not be played because it’s “her wedding song”? A professional planner will make a note of it while you continue to stay sane and happy.
It’s perfectly normal to feel put-out with loved ones as your Big Day approaches, and while it’s practically a requirement to discuss genuine problems with your partner, it’s not a bad idea to save the minor venting for the ears of a close friend.
Find someone you trust unconditionally (ideally someone who doesn’t have a strong allegiance with either side of your wedding party) and ask them directly if you can reach out when you need to get something off your chest.
To stay sane and happy, keep it simple and honest: “I’m stressed about the wedding. Can I text you or call you from time to time to vent?”
Asking directly will signal to this person that this is “their job.” They’ll recognize that you’re trusting them with this secretive matter, and you’re also depending on them to listen.
Having the ability to excuse yourself and text a complaint that’s followed by 10 exclamation marks can be immensely cathartic. It’s called “venting” for a reason! Once you’ve released that hot air, you can return to whatever it is you were doing with a cool head and a fresh outlook.
To make the most of this tip to stay sane and happy, try penning “thank you” letters to those around you–you’ll be handing out keepsakes that will be treasured for a lifetime. And whether or not you decide to share these gems of gratitude, simply the act of giving thanks helps to ease depression and stir feelings of joy.Often it’s the negative thoughts or feelings that we focus on.
Things go wrong or people behave in ways we wish they hadn’t. And while it’s great to vent with your sounding board, taking a moment to reflect on the people and things you’re grateful for can have a lasting impact on your mental health. Life is beautiful, start writing about it!
Feeling in a grateful mood? Here are some letter prompts to get you started:
If you’d rather wait on the personal letters, consider keeping a gratitude journal. These trendy mementos are sure to become an irreplaceable wedding heirloom!
But there’s a high chance that the people you’re dealing with really do have good intentions, they’re simply expressing them in an unproductive way. While that doesn’tSometimes the seemingly thoughtless or rude actions of those around us can be so disheartening that all we want to do is turn to them and ask, “What were you thinking?!”
mean that true negative behavior should be excused, leading with a kind word can help prevent any misunderstandings or future resentment.
So before you respond, take a breath and ask yourself “What do they believe they’re trying to help me with?” Then try out this technique: Say thank you, explain your side, and before they can respond ask them for a favor that draws on their unique skills.
Here’s an example of this strategy in action:
Situation: During your dress fitting your sister subtly insults your veil and tells you to get rid of it.
Response: “Thank you for wanting the best for me, but I really love this veil.”
Next, assign a task to let her know you value her talents: “I could really use your eye for fashion with my shoes, though. Can I get your opinion on these two?”
Saying “Thank you” is a two-pronged approach. If the person you’re speaking with sincerely does have good intentions, then you can avoid hurt feelings and move on without a hiccup.
And on the off-chance that they truly do want to make you angry, leading with a “Thank you for wanting the best for me,” allows you to take the high-road while reminding them that their priority should be on helping to make your special day the best it can be.
This tip to stay sane and happy is short and to the point: Get enough sleep!
Everyone’s sleep requirements are different, and you know what works best for your body and mind. So put your phone on “Do not disturb,” turn off those blue screens, and cuddle up with your partner while it’s still early.
It’s not just beauty rest, it’s also sanity rest!
You’re in this with your best friend! The best thing about getting married is forming a bond that will last a lifetime.
So while you’re dreaming about slicing that cake, be sure to also slice out a few hours for your significant other. This could mean anything from a trip to the oceanside, a love note left on the driver’s seat or even simply a wedding day compromise.
Does he want wine instead of champagne? Does she prefer you in navy blue instead of midnight black? Why not give in to the change? Compromising is an easy and simple way to say “I love you.”
If your wedding is on a beach, plan to visit the shoreline a day or two before the big day. Walk along the sand with your partner, snorkel in the pristine ocean, or bring along an iced coffee and people-watch as you daydream of the special occasion.
Or pack a PB&J and head off for a hike in the woods. No matter how you go about it, kindling the pre-wedding romance is a sure-fire way to get your marriage off to the right start!
Easier said than put into practice, we know.But in the grand scheme of things, your wedding day truly is just another day. Post-wedding blues are a real thing, and feelings of disappointment or emptiness can follow the Big Day if the occasion is treated as an endpoint rather than a beginning.
As the date nears, remind yourself that your wedding marks the start of your journey as a married couple and (as the saying goes) it’s the journey that counts! Celebrate it together!
When you have a spare moment, take some time away from wedding planning and detail out your very first day as a married couple!
A jet setting honeymoon? Great! Netflix and a tub of ice cream? Even better! How will you celebrate your one-week-anniversary? Your month?
Invest some of your “I do” euphoria into planning the days ahead, try to keep it simple and intimate. After the wedding whirlwind, you and your partner will appreciate having something quiet to look forward to!
Whatever happens, just try to go with the flow! And if you ever feel that it’s too much to handle, don’t hesitate to reach out to a bonafide counselor. Your wedding day is important… but do you know what’s more important? You! So stay sane and happy.
The post 10 Tips to Stay Sane and Happy on Your Wedding Day appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.
