How to Be an Active Listener in Your Marriage

I believe that at least once in your life you heard someone saying that communication is the key to a happy and lasting relationship. You might have noticed too. The thing is, that communication is not all about communicating your message effectively – that’s only a part.

Communication is also about listening and knowing how to listen to someone when they are talking. The art of active listening is the most important part of the whole communication process because what’s the point to communicate at all if the other person doesn’t listen to you.

Listening means to care what other person has to say. That’s why becoming an active listener is so important in a marriage. Fortunately, you already care and love each other, so becoming an active listener should come easier than in other cases.

With no further ado, learn how to actively listen to your spouse

Here are some useful tips to become an active listener in your relationship- 

1. Don’t interrupt

The first rule in the art of genuinely listening to your partner is to do not interrupt – let your spouse finish their idea and make their point. Only then, after you heard and understood their point of view you can say how you feel about it.

Interrupting someone, especially your partner, is rude and it shows lack of respect. In marriage is all about respecting each other.

Therefore, if you keep interrupting your partner at every two minutes you’ll prove them wrong and sooner or later tension and abstinence will make an appearance when they will try to communicate with you. Not interrupting is one of the most important tips for improving marital listening skills and to become an active listener in your marriage. 

2. Focus

When your partner wants to share something with you, all your focus should be centered on them – not your phone, TV, or laptop. Again, focusing on other things while your spouse tries to speak with you is disrespectful.

How would you feel coming at home to your beloved one after something amazing or bad happened at home and you can’t wait to tell your spouse about it and they are watching at the TV, barely listening to you?

Pretty offended I bet. No one likes to feel that way.

Not to mention that if you try to listen to you your partner and read a tweet at the same time you’ll end up doing none of them. So, what’s the point for risking your lovers’ respect?

You don’t have to google ‘ways to be a good listener for your spouse’, all you have to do is listen to become active listener in your marriage. 

3. Pay attention

Focus and paying attention might seem similar to you, but they are completely different, despite the fact that they go hand in hand.

So, after you centered your focus on your partner, you have to pay attention to the details. No one is using only words when they are transmitting a message verbally.

People are leveraging the tone of voice, specific gestures, and expressions of the face to transmit the message.

Words are just words without emotions, that’s why you have to pay attention to what nonverbal signs they use when they are communicating with you to be active listener in your marriage.

When you pay full attention to what your partner is saying, you make them feel important and valued which can build more intimacy in your relationship. Yes, you have read it right, you can create intimacy in marriage using active listening. 

4. Use body language wisely

Since we’re talking about body language, I have to bring in your attention that when you’re genuinely listening to someone and you’re so caught up in what the other has to say, you’re using your body language too – expression of the face and gestures.

Now, this can be a good and a bad thing. Good because you can show your empathy and letting them know that you understand them.

Bad, because when you have something else on your mind and you’re stressed out because of it, you’ll tend to make some gestures, like checking the time and constantly looking in other directions. Those gestures will show that you don’t really care about what your lover has to say.

That’s why you should be attentive to your body language.To be an active listener in your marriage you need to keep a tab on your body language as well. 

5. Show empathy

Empathy should come naturally in marriage because is love which binds you two together – and empathy comes from a place of love.

Therefore, if you want to become an active listener in your marriage, one of the things you have to do while you’re listening is to show your empathy.

As it is not polite to interrupt your partner while they are talking, you can do this by using several gestures like take them by the hand or smile warmly. This way you’ll make them understand that you are by their side and that you truly understand what they are dealing with.

You need to express empathy to become a truly active listener in your marriage. 

6. Don’t be defensive

Another thing from the category “things you mustn’t do” is to not be defensive. Why? Because when your partner is talking to you and you are defensive you’re turning the conversation into an argument or even a fight.

If you become an active listener in your marriage, you can actually avert conflicts between you and your partner.

When your lover is trying to talk to you, all you have to do is to sit and listen and try to understand their point of view. Don’t jump to conclusions while you don’t know the whole story yet.

Even if you sense that they might be wrong or that they are the one who did the bad thing, it’s not an excuse to interrupt them in a defensive way. What good will your defensive attitude bring to the situation? NONE. 

7. Put yourself in their shoes

Sometimes we can have a hard time understanding our partner’s actions or perspectives. That’s one more reason why you should become an active listener.

To become a genuine active listener in your marriage means to put yourself into their shoes and try to understand the reason behind his actions and judgments.

We’re talking about our loved one, so it’s only fair to try and put a little extra effort to try and understand them, so you can help him overcome their problems or to enjoy their achievements.

One of the main keys to a successful and happy marriage effective communication. But communication is not only about communicating our ideas, thoughts, and emotions effectively. It is also about how good an.active listener in your marriage are you.

To become an active listener in your marriage is extremely important for the health of your marriage. Therefore, simply follow these simple tips every time your partner is communicating with you.

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