Red Flags of Financial Infidelity and What to Do About It

You must have wondered, ‘what is financial infidelity in a marriage?’ To help you better understand financial infidelity in marriage, here is an article which will answer your questions aptly.

To begin with, most of you must have experienced certain things in your marriage but have chosen to simply ignore them.

Whenever money comes up with your partner, do you sense something is off? You notice credit card bills that are far larger than they lead on, unpaid bills stashed away in a secret drawer, or you discover a separate account they haven’t made you aware about.

Well! Something is not adding up, but you just can’t put your finger on it. It turns out there’s a name for your partner’s suspicious behaviour: financial infidelity. And, this kind of behaviour causes financial infidelity in marriage.

Red flags of financial infidelity and what to do about it

What causes financial infidelity among spouses?

To explore the symptoms and signs of financial infidelity, the Ascent by The Motley Fool surveyed over 1,000 men and women in relationships reveal their sentiments on sharing finances with a partner.

The survey carried the most common acts of financial infidelity witnessed among spouses and why they chose to become financially unfaithful towards their partner.

Financial infidelity affects more couples than you’d imagine.

71% claim to have committed at least one instance of financial infidelity and 48% report never being caught.

The most common ways someone can be financially unfaithful with their partner are hiding a purchase price, hiding the actual item purchased or lying about a purchase amount.

All the while, 82% still believe they’re transparent with their partner about finances.

Nathan Hamilton, the Industry Analyst at The Ascent, advises couples to find a “compromise budget” which allows both partners to feel happy with the amount being spent and saved to avoid creating a situation where someone tries to hide purchases.

“No one wants to feel like their partner is a parent telling them what to do. Trying to control what your partner buys all the time is a major contributing factor to financial infidelity since harsh restrictions feel constraining. If each partner has a little bit of fun money to spend on anything at all, there’s no need for anyone to be dishonest.” – Nathan Hamilton

Crucial steps to deal with financial infidelity

Though conversations surrounding money may be uncomfortable, honesty is the best policy.

Couples are 34% more likely to consider lying about debt a more significant challenge than settling political differences.

If you think your in-laws are unbearable, they may be the least of your worries. Couples find lies about earnings or assets harder to deal with than issues with their partner’s family.

It turns out there are specific dollar amounts needed to start the conversation. Both men and women agree spending more than $200 on something would at least require advance notice. If you’re planning on spending more than $400, your partner will likely want to be involved in a joint decision before making the final call.

It’s essential to remember dealing with financial infidelity isn’t a death sentence in a relationship. “If you and your partner get comfortable talking about money issues as early as possible in the relationship, it will be easier to talk about financial decisions – and money mistakes,” says Hamilton. “Set aside a time to talk regularly about shared financial goals, financial pet peeves, and your philosophies about spending and saving. By maintaining an open dialogue, you reduce the risk your partner will feel the need to hide financial decisions.”

Is financial infidelity grounds for divorce?

Yes! Financial infidelity in marriage is a common cause of divorce. The whole act of spending money, at times extravagantly, without the knowledge of your partner, can cause marital problems. Such marital conflicts can often lead to separation.

So, to avoid divorce, it is advisable to keep your partner acquainted with your expenses and do away with financial infidelity in marriage completely.

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