How to Kill a Speech with Marriage Jokes

Marriage is a very diverse kind of bond between two soul mates. There is sheer love, there is friendship, there is possessiveness, and there are sweet arguments too.

This diversity in a marriage should be celebrated at every cost.

You could be a father to the bride, or you could be a bridesmaid, or you could be groom’s college buddy; your appearance should add a little color to the event. Whether you are attending the marriage ceremony as a relative or a best friend, you are likely to prepare a speech for the special day.

If one initiates the speech with a harmless joke about marriage, it would set the atmosphere light and cherished. It is a day of joy and laughter, you should see to it as a speaker. You should add some jokes to your speech along with emotional notes. You should make your speech a win-win speech, so to say.

Following are some marriage jokes to make your speech a stellar one:

Why so emotional, peeps?

If you have already penned your speech sarcastic and hilarious both, to get the audience ready for it, you should begin with:

This has been a very emotional evening; even the cake is in tears.

If you see an emotional audience before you, this could be the best starter for them. You would get to hear lots of giggles after this joke, and this will eventually prepare the audience for what is coming.

A never-seen couple

We all hear of ideal couples before, and at the time of the wedding, a joke related to such a couple could be a good addition.

Once upon a time, an invisible man married the invisible woman, their kids are also nothing to look at.

Here, you would be referring to an event that never took place, and it was never witnessed by anyone in the world. Though, this invisible family is sure to make everyone bust a gut.

Love and Wine

Love and wine are two things that go arms in arms. Now here is some love for the wine!

One couple sat beside each other in a bar and drank wine together. The wife, all of a sudden said I love you. The husband got shocked and asked his wife; is it you or the wine talking?

It’s me, said the wife, talking to the wine!

This joke can be a real suspense thriller. You should have serious facial expressions through the end – until the climax. This will not let the audience guess that it’s a joke.

The husbands who never cook

You can crack an interesting culinary joke which goes as;

Once a wife asked her husband,

Where would we go for our anniversary?

The husband responded,

A place I have never seen before.

The wife immediately suggested,

How about the kitchen?

The husbands who do not learn to cook and help in the kitchen are going to regret that for life. This joke is going to roast them for sure!

Calming your wife

Most people in the crowd would enjoy this joke, and the husbands would agree to it too. You better be inquisitive this time and raise a question in the crowd. The question be like;

What do you do to calm your wife when she is really angry?

Well, a simple ‘calm down’ is all it takes to get her a lot upset.

This joke would leave the people rolling in the aisles. They got something that they were not expecting at all.

Marriage is a bond eulogizing equality among the genders

Be careful that you choose no sexist marriage jokes. There are a lot of old-school jokes maligning one particular gender, specifically women; you should not opt for any of them. Your marriage jokes should not carry bias for any one gender.

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