Fighting is one very common part of married life. But things tend to get messy when you no longer are aware of how to fight. Yes! There is a proper way to fight in a marriage, and this way has to do with being fair.
How to fight is the key for a successful and long-term marriage. Fighting fairly while having respect for one another is a critical marital skill you must learn.
The way you fight is how you are in a relationship. If done correctly, conflicts can be very healthy for the success of the relationship.
Keep on reading this blog in order to find how to fight fair and make sure you follow these tips when arguing with your spouse.
1. Do not let the little things that bother you get to build up
This is one of the most common problems of a relationship.
Couples hold onto grudges for a long time and then explode over a small fight. This is not fighting fair. Instead of bringing up old grudges try to solve the issue at hand.
2. Let things slide
If you are angry at something and did not talk to your spouse about it within 48 hours, then let it go. If you do not let it go then, you are not fighting fair.
3. Address the issue
If your spouse does not want to discuss the matter with you, then set up an appointment with them within 24 hours. Make sure that you discuss the issue in order to have a fair fight.
Keep in mind that it is okay to go to bed angry, you need your sleep in order to fight productively, but you must address the issue. If you do not address it, it will keep building up and eventually explode one way or the other.
4. Be aware of the issue
Fighting fair means that you know what you two are arguing about.
Being aware of the issue ensures that the fight between you and your spouse is good. Both of you must stick to the subject and know that the fight is between you two and the issue not you two with each other.
5. Keep the fight between yourself
When fighting makes sure that it remains between the husband and wife only.
Do not bring third parties in between as the fight will get biased.
Involving kids, mother-in-law and your friends can lead to a very messy outcome.
6. Don’t hit below the belt
Fighting fair means that you let your point across but also remember your boundaries.
Do not say things that may hurt your significant other such as talking about how they look or how their family is. Avoid doing this because once the issue is solved, the words and sentences you say will be left behind.
7. Forget the past
Fighting fair means that you do not bring up the past.
Bringing your partner’s history will lead to a never-ending conflict, and such conflicts should be avoided at all costs. Under no circumstances should you bring the past up.
8. No name calling
This is a very crucial tip for fighting fair. During a fight, everything has a larger impact even if you say it in a sweet way. Everything you say during an argument will take a wrong turn so avoid doing that. Avoid calling your partner with ugly names, names that may hurt them or words that may leave an unforgettable scar.
Remember, even pet names and endearing names can be hurtful when you make use of a sarcastic tone.
9. Take care when using humor
When making use of humor during an argument be cautious. Laughter is good for the health, but teasing can be easily misinterpreted and hurt your spouse.
10. Listen to one another
When fighting to take turns to be the listening one.
Listen to your partner’s point of view and their opinion. This also includes watching for body language. During a fight look at how your spouse’s body is if it is too tensed up then slow down your argument and change your tone to a more sweeter one.
Make eye contact and look at one another when you speak. Avoid interrupting your partner and let them get their voice and point across. This is very important in order to fight fair.
During a fight, couples must remember that it is not a very big deal. Every person fights and no relationship is perfect. Conflict is not the problem, all married couples have disagreements but not being able to argue effectively is what is wrong.
This creates difficulty in marriage. Using threatening tones and words ruin a marriage. Make use of our tips and fight fair!
The post 10 Tips for Fighting Fair – the Ultimate Secret for a Happy Marriage appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.
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