I (27 m) have been with a (23 f) for about 9 months. 7 months ago, she invited her ex be over while I was working my shift as a police officer. She had been drinking and was acting sketchy while I was on duty. When I got to her place, she was sitting with her female roommate. I could just tell something was up. When she fell asleep I checked her text messages. I saw that she had been texting her ex and she invited him over. The text messages were explicit, about how he wanted to do sexual things to her and she lead him on. She woke up and I called her out on it. Maybe it was wrong to go through her phone but I knew something was up and I didn’t think she had any plans to come clean. She went on about how she needed to have him over for “closure” to be able to move on in our relationship. Her roommate confirmed that after he arrived they only talked. I did have reasons to believe her roomie was telling the truth about that. However, the next day I told my gf that if she wanted to remain a couple she would have to cut ties and communication with this guy. She said that she didn’t want to lose me and she agrees. The following months gave no indication that there was anything else shady going on. She did keep him as a friend on Facebook though. I saw a couple times that she “liked” a post involving him. I’ve had a lot of trouble believing that this was the last of it. There are still pictures of them from when they were together on her Facebook. I just feel disrespected that the door is still open a crack with them. She originally said that they were just friends but that was apparently bs after that night. I know if I gave her another chance that I’m supposed to just trust her now. But I recently voiced my remaining concerns to her and it turned into a bad argument. Of course it turned into her saying that I don’t trust her. I don’t think she’s going to do anything to hurt me intentionally, but I’m still worried about it all. I explained this the best I could. I’m just looking for some advice on how to proceed.
TL;DR
Gf invited her ex over behind my back and I’m having trouble accepting it and moving forward.
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