My boyfriend Jake and I have been together for a year now. We actually met in a dive bar in our town last year.
When I first met Jake I wasn't even 21 yet, but I had a fake ID and I had already been going to bars downtown for years. He brought me around the dive bar scene and I really enjoy it. There's a lot of little bars on a strip in our town it's nice. Much chiller and I've met so many good people and made lots of friends with people in my town. I have no interest in going out to crazy bars and clubs downtown. Jake was pretty wild when I met him. He was drinking every night, doing drugs, selling drugs, and just was all over the place. I always was a party girl though too so we just clicked and soon fell in love. That will never ever be a question to me, he loves me like crazy, and we have always trusted each other.
Jake and I had a fun ass first year together. Recently he got himself a really good job. He stopped selling and he doesn't go out and drink on week days anymore. He strictly wants to go out on Friday and Saturdays and that be it. Which is totally fine, I respect it and I'm so proud of him for becoming so responsible. The problem we have been having lately though is that, he doesn't want me going out at all on week days either. I am in school and waitress and so after working at night I like to stop by my favorite local bar with a couple co workers and friends and get a beer or so. And Jake isn't having it anymore. He tells me that he can't be with me if I want to continue living like how we used to. Which is not the case at all, I don't want to go on benders like we used to and do the drugs like we used to. But when I do not work the next morning I would like to go get a beer with some friends at the bar down the road. He tells me I'm irresponsible for wanting to do that during the week anymore and accuses me of being out doing drugs too, which I don't when I'm not with him. He's became so insecure but I think it's because we've never went through this. It was always me and Jake for the past year together, it's not like us to go out without each other at all. So I try to respect his wishes when he asks me to just come home after work and what not. I get it's probably frustrating he's at home sleeping trying to better himself so we can have a nice life together and I'm at the bar. I try so hard to understand what he's feeling and see the situation from his eyes.. But I'm not out going crazy. I'm not at clubs. I'm at a dive bar 2 minutes from his house with a whole bar filled with people that know him. If I was out of control in any way he would know about it in seconds. I'm not being irresponsible and I only try to go out for drinks one night during the week. Any other time I'm at his place with him, we spend every second together when we're not working. It's honestly even a little bit of time to get out with my friends, I don't have much friend time where he isn't there. I try to explain this all to him but he doesn't want to hear it. He's stubborn. I just wanted the opinion of people who don't first hand know us. Do you think I'm wrong? How do I make this not such an argument between us. We are so good together we never fight, but this has been really getting to both of us.
TLDR; My boyfriend and I used to go out and drink/party all the time.. now he has a good job and doesn't even let me go get 1 beer with a friend if he isn't going.
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