So here's a really low-stakes question: how do I get my boyfriend to dress up for things like weddings?
We recently got invited to a wedding that listed "black tie preferred" on the invitation. From what I looked up online that's basically floor length gowns and tuxes. When I mentioned that we'd have to rent a tux for him, my BF said he wasn't wearing one. I was confused and said something like, "well then what are you wearing?" He said he'd wear a button down shirt and slacks but no tux. I tried to explain that wasn't appropriate, given what the invitation said. He shot back that it said "preferred" so he didn't have to wear a suit or a tux.
I'm frustrated. I think it's rude to go to someone's fancy event and look either out of place or sloppy. But I don't know how to explain this in a way that makes sense.
It does seem silly that you have to wear anything in particular to witness someone you care about get married. And it is really out of his character to own a suit let alone a tux and wear it anywhere.
I tried to explain that it would be like if someone came to our wedding (next year) in jorts. Yes, our wedding vibe is casual-ish (sundresses, khakis, whatever) but wearing jean shorts would seem so, tacky? Idk. When I tried to explain it this way he got defensive and asked if I would be embarrassed of him. I said no. But honestly? A little bit. It draws unnecessary attention to us as guests when you look out of place, it's rude to so blatantly disregard what the couple wants, and I wasn't about to dress down just to match my boyfriend so, yeah, I would feel really awkward with him. It also doesn't sound like fun if we have to have a dumb argument about clothes beforehand.
TL;DR Are there any arguments I can make about dressing the way you're "supposed to" for a wedding or do I just have to give up and stop caring what my boyfriend wears to formal events?
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