When we met he owned his own home. His parents had purchased it for him. Together over the last 6 years of our relationship we renovated it together, using both of our incomes and a large inheritance that I received. Then we sold it, I largely dealt with the sale of the house as he works longer hours than me and is very busy. We have 2 children together but I also work. So I organized all the lawyers and everything to sell the house. The house sold and we purchased our new home.
He refused to put my name on the new house. Due to most of the funds coming from his old house he tried to say my name couldn’t be on it due to my income not being as high as his and me having two dependents (our kids). So as far as all documentation and legality’s it is his home.
I honestly couldn’t care about the documents it is the way he acts because he owns the house and I don’t. Every day he will come home and inspect it, by this I mean he will go room to room and make sure I have done all the chores to his standard. If something is not done or done wrong he will loudly do it. Tonight I was making dinner and quickly left the room to help my youngest find his PJs when I came back he had tipped out the entire jug of pasta sauce I had made because I had “left it on the bench” and things aren’t allowed to be on the bench. If I cook dinner I have to clean up entirely before I eat so while the rest of the family eats I have to scrub the trays (can’t even leave them to soak for half an hour) .
Despite him earning 5x what I do and me taking care of the children every day we split all bills and expenses 50/50.
If I ever want him to pick up dinner for me I have to transfer the money to him and send him a screenshot as proof before he will do it.
I do what I can to save money and keep our expenses low (due to my low income) he however will have a 1 hour shower every night. Which is reflected in our gas/water bill.
If I ever try and bring any of this up in discussion with him he tells me I can move out if I don’t like it.
It’s so stressful I hate knowing he is going to come home and check everything I always worry I may have over looked something especially because I only get home shortly before he does.
Is there any way to help him see me as an equal?
TLDR - boyfriend owns our home, does daily inspections and stresses me out
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