Me and my wife have been married for about 10 years and have always had a fairly stormy relationship, but adventurous life together. Over the last years and particularly this year, she has become almost perpetually angry, blowing up over things maybe 10 times every day, usually directed towards me but sometimes on our young daughter. She often behaves like I owe her something or she has made a large sacrifice over something or other that she resents me for. I have literally no idea what that sacrifice would be, though. I don't even know where to start.
I've found myself for the first time lying about small idiotic things because I can't stand being yelled at yet again (like throwing a bottle in the wrong recycling bin, how much I tipped at a restaurant where she took a dislike to a waiter, and so on). She also checks and asks about small idiotic things like this all the time, then blows up if I haven't done what she expected. She'll also be angry if I walk to far in front of her, if I'm not where she expects at all times, if I don't hear something and act on it, and so on.
In addition I will often get yelled at for anything that goes wrong in the world, often over a contrived reason why it was my fault. For example: coffee being bad at a restaurant at vacation -> I picked the vacation destination -> my fault. Or if a country in the world does something bad -> I once visited and praised the country -> I get berated. She's triggered all the time, I don't think an hour goes by in the day where something doesn't happen that creates another squabble.
She also tends to be like this with other people to some lesser degree, and has lost many friendships over minor slights. But overall she generally avoids squabbles with friends or family, instead picking topics to talk about that she's angry about or that she knows will rub people the wrong way.
Our life in general has zero worries, we have tons of time to spend with the kid, each other and to travel and enjoy life. It would be almost perfect if I didn't have to live with this never-ending aggression.
In general, I also rarely take being yelled at passively, and definitively often contribute to escalating the anger more and pick up the fights. But lately I've also just stopped caring and let her rage away while I carry on with my business.
Ugh - hopefully this made sense and anyone can help reduce the anger.
tl;dr: my wife is always angry over something. What can I do?
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