I just got home from a week at the hospital and I'm honestly still shocked this even happened and need an outside opinion.
I was rushed to the ER a week ago, and knew right away I wouldn't be coming home for at least 5 days. I made arrangements with my fiance on how to take care of our pets (A leopard gecko, a ball python, a baby corn snake, two cats, one betta, 12 rats - I breed them).
My fiance lives with me, and although most of the pet care is usually mine anyway since they moved in with me about three weeks ago, I was sure he'd been around me enough to understand the care for them. I made him update me each day with what he'd done, whose bedding was changed, if my betta got her medication, if the rats were doing alright, if the gecko's shed was coming along smoothly, etc etc. He insisted everything was going just as I instructed.
Well I got home last night.
And barely ANYTHING was touched. The gecko's water was old, the baby snake clearly hadn't been misted at all. All the reptile enclosures were cold. The rats hadn't had their bedding or litter changed whatsoever. I thought I was being paranoid and tired at first, and maybe everything just looked worse than it did, but then I realized the betta's infection meds the vet had given me the morning I went to the ER were still unopened.
He tried to lie and say things were done at first, but when evidence piled up he admitted he hadn't done any of it, but said that I was a jerk for calling him out, and that my hospital visit had been hard on him too.
He hadn't cleaned up anything from the accident either. The coffee I spilled was still all over my floor and there was blood smeared on the wall. Granted, I didn't ask him to do this - and we do live in separate rooms (we live in the south US and are in his parents basement - don't judge too hard). So maybe he didn't notice?
It was stressful coming home and having to clean up my entire bedroom of the mess that sent me to the hospital in the first place, but when I tried to ask him to do it he stormed off.
I was so upset at the time that I called up some friends of mine who'd offered to give me a place if I broke up with him in the past. I thought they were exaggerating or kidding, but one of them offered me their basement immediately. The support was overwhelming, and honestly, it weirded me out that they had a whole plan ready already for getting me out. I was scared to tell my fiance because I didn't want things to implode, so I figured I'd wait til closer to the time I could get picked up on.
This morning, though. My fiance did a complete 180. He sent me a heartfelt letter explaining that he understood he'd been selfish and narcissistic about the whole thing and was going to talk to his therapist on monday about the whole situation. Last night he berated me for all of this and denied any wrong doing, and this is giving me whiplash.
I want to believe that he was honestly just stressed about my visit to the hospital and lashing out, but I was so furious and heartbroken that he broke my trust like that. And my friends have never liked him and really jumped onboard me moving in with them, I'm not sure how to tell them I'm staying if I choose to.
Is this still break up worthy if he apologized?
How do I tell my friends I'm staying with him if I do?
tl;dr: fiance neglected my pets while I was in the hospital and berated me for calling him out on it, I thought I had a wake up call and my friends were going to help me move out. This morning he apologized and I'm worried I jumped the gun
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