We have been together for coming up to 2 years. She was a friend of a friend, who introduced us when she was doing study abroad (Trans Atlantic long distance) we hit it off, then spent the next 6 months talking causally, before I went to visit her when I was next in the States.
At the end of the two weeks we decided to make it official and exclusive. The subsequent 2 years were the best of my life, I took a number of trips out there as I was fortunate with a work schedule that gave me a bunch of holiday.
In October I took a new job, that would ensure I could actually save, still travel (but less frequently) and build for our future. She has been with the same company since we met, in a high pace industry and isn't as fortunate with time off, having only visited me twice since the beginning (I'm on trip 7/8)
Just after a Christmas trip, thing's began to get more icey out of the blue, she wouldnt ring/text as much, wouldn't ask how I was, wouldn't give me the attention I had enjoyed for the last 2 years.
We acknowledged we had issues, I love messages, texts, reassurances, she loves physical contact. We talked about how to reduce these where we could, I bought her any and every sex toy she wanted, and got a bit more attention here and there.
Things went well for a few months until we were seemingly back to square one, she would ghost for a day or so and then just say "sorry works been busy", our arguments became petty again, but would clear up quickly, and when we facetimed she would pretend to be falling asleep but then still be online 2 hours later.
It all came to a head at the weekend when I woke up to a text of "I love you, wanna facetime later?" the kind of text and love I had been begging for the last few months and thought that she had seen the light again and things would be on the up.
Boy was I fucking wrong...
The Facetime she had mentioned was one in which she told me it had all become too much and she needed time and space to work out where and what she wants in life. I suggested other options but she was certain and had obviously put a lot of thought into it.
I am now left empty, wondering what to do, if she'll come back, or if this it and am at a loss, I took yesterday off work to get my head straight and exercise, but to no avail. I feel like an empty shell, with questions that won't be answered until time has passed/ she knows what she wants. And I both dread with fear but hold so much hope for that day and I just don't know where or what to do with myself besides run to the bathroom at work and cry every half an hour.
I've deleted all my social media accounts as I can't bare the thought of seeing her out partying but now I'm left best friend, girlfriend, future wife less for an indeterminate amount of time and have nowhere to turn.
(Writing this has helped me out 100x over though)
*bolded TL;DR - Girlfriend of two years started blowing hot then cold the past few months. She wanted to take a break, and now I'm at a loss
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