It first started last year after she had just had our second kid. She started to get really depressive and feel down about everything. She started to see a therapist about postpartum depression and things seemed to stabilize for awhile but after a few months her moods started swinging more and more and she kept telling me she felt gross and disgusting and ashamed of herself and her body.
Eventually she told me that she wanted to look into cosmetic surgery to fix the way she looked and help undo the "damage" of two pregnancies. I kept telling her she was fine and didn't need to change but it just kept bothering her more and more and eventually she decided to go through with it, and though I didn't agree with her decision I still supported her. Because I want to protect her privacy, I'll spare the details of what exactly she had done but I'll just say she had multiple operations, it cost us quite a bit of money, and she looked a lot different afterwards.
For about a month after that, she was unable to leave the house or engage in any kind of sexual activity for emotional reasons. Since she works from home this wasn't much of an immediate issue, but it was still very concerning for me. Once she started being able to go out again, I noticed an immediate change in her behavior.
She had always been a very modest and conservative dresser, but now every time she would go out she'd dress in the most revealing and noticeable way possible, and basically try to show as much skin as she could get away with. She would also start making dirty sexual jokes constantly which she almost never did before, and just altogether seemed to enjoy all the attention she started getting, both positive and negative. I was more than a little uncomfortable with her new behavior and I noticed a lot of our more straitlaced friends were as well but I was also happy that she seemed to be feeling better so while I brought up my concerns a couple times I never really pressed the issue.
For awhile after that things seemed to be getting better overall, and while some of her behavior grew more extreme, she also seemed to be getting a lot happier and more stable. Unfortunately this never seemed to translate into much of an increase in her sex drive and while we did have sex a couple times it was clear she wasn't into it, and she would always insist on doing it in the dark or under the covers since she was worried about me seeing her naked. She kept telling me she was getting better and to just give her time so I did.
This lasted until last month, when she confessed to be that she'd been uploading explicit photos of herself online. She showed me all the accounts that she'd posted with and a lot of the pictures were topless, fully nude, or wearing nice lingerie. She apologized for not telling me sooner but claimed that it was helping her emotionally right now.
I certainly didn't feel very comfortable with other guys seeing her that way, but I also wanted to be supportive, so I just said okay and moved on. I did insist that she not send any photos like this to people we knew or reply or chat with any of the rando internet dudes who messaged her. She agreed quickly and I believe she was being sincere when she did. She also apologized for our sex life being in such a slump for so long, and things have gotten a LOT better on that front since then.
That said, this whole situation has made me feel very uncomfortable both because of how she's been acting and how unpredictable she seems right now. None of this is remotely in character for the women I married seven years ago and I honestly have no idea where her head is at right now. Also if I'm being honest with myself, I'm very uncomfortable with the way she's been acting for obvious reasons. Although I'm trying my best to be supportive, a very large part of me is uncomfortable with how she's been acting while we're out together and (especially) with the idea of her showing herself off to other men the way she has been. I could really use some help trying to understand and navigate this situation.
tl;dr: My wife has been behaving in really strange ways ever since she gave birth to our second child.
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