Sorry about the typo in the title ******* My parents got divorced when I was 5. I do not remember much of them being together but i remember them fighting and my mothers house still has some holes in the walls from him. He has always been abusive.
My dad was never around me much. He would always disapear for months on end and just show up one day or leave a note on our door to call him. We would stay every other weekend at his apartment for a year or two. It was in a really bad neighborhood and he would always have random people over getting drunk or high. He was always a drug addict. He has stolen my guitars, electronic devices, and even stole my phone once and pawned them for money for pills.
I have 3 older sisters that we share the same dad but not mom, and they havent talked to him in years. They dont want anything to do with him. My twin sister moved a few states away to finish highschool and didnt even tell him.
Ive always been the one who trys to make it work with him. Even though it only lasts a few months before i cut him off. He always acted like he had some say in my life. Even though he was never there and fucked it up every time. He would come to my house when he knew my mom was at work and scream at me for not talking to him and basically manipulate me into thinking hes the only one who cares about me. When him and i were in contact, i HAD to call him every single day or he would freak out. One time, i didnt talk to him for a week and he left a voicemail on my phone saying im just like my whore mother and i dont love him and i dont care about him etc. This is just an idea of his behavior.
This last time i cut him off because we had a bad fight ( from me not calling him for a week ) and I stood up for myself and it just escalated into a screaming match and i ended up hanging up and blocked his number. A few weeks later he had my aunt call me and say he was dead. Then my bestfriend saw him driving down the street 5 or so days later and sent me a snapchat of it. I was so angry and hurt. I couldnt believe someone would cause that pain on their daughter for attention. It still disgusts me to this day.
About a week ago his girlfriend sent me a message request on facebook with his new number. I thought over the past 9 months maybe things changed and he will be different. I called him and we talked and we planned to go get food after i got off of work on Sunday. I agreed and was honestly really excited to see him and try to build a healthy relationship. I planned to talk to him and set boundarieand just make it work. All i wanted was to have my dad in my life.
He picked me up an hour and a half late. But all seemed good. We decided to go to a resturaunt about 20 minutes away. Once we got there and ordered food, he started to nod off and lean over. Instantly i knew he was fucked up. He was looking at me with his eyes barely open and they were almost rolling into the back of his head. He kept asking me how my birthday was. My birthday isnt until next week and he asked me atleast 3 or 4 times. He kept knocking things off the table and even knocked his plate off. It broke my heart seeing him like that. It wasnt anything new to me, ive seen him have seizures and over dose before. But i just couldnt do it. I went to the bathroom and called my boyfriend crying and he came and got me. I told my dad id be right back and i just left without saying another word. He then called the police and said he thinks a man is overdosing at said resturaunt and gave the license plate number.
I feel guilty for leaving. I’m more pissed at myself then at him. I didnt want to , but my boyfriend insisted and wouldnt take no for an answer. He daid he wasnt letting me get into the car with my dad again. I just feel like shit and can imagine my dad is so upset with me. I dont plan on talking to him again. But I still feel like I was wrong and need someones opinion because ive been beating myself up over it since it happened.
;TLDR; my dad showed up to dinner with my fucked up on drugs so i ended up leaving him there. Was i wrong for that?
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