Obviously she was assigned male at birth but last year she came out as a trans woman so she became my sister. Our parents had a hard time accepting it but they eventually begrudgingly did however they said that while they won't be assholes about it, they won't endorse or incentivize her transition.
Transitioning isn't cheap, and it's really difficult if you don't have help at that age. I didn't have much when I was her age either but at least I was in a body that I was comfortable with. So I promised that I'd help her out and our other sister [29F] is doing the same. It just seemed unfair to me that she had to begin life in the negative rather than just zero. She's already doing everything she can too, and is working as well.
So anyway, I'm helping her out. She hasn't had surgeries yet but she's getting laser hair removal which I'm paying for now. She is saving her own money for her future surgeries which are more expensive.
Here comes my girlfriend of 6 months, who is amazing in many ways. But since learning that I'm helping out my sister she thinks I'm basically enabling her right now. She believes that the financial hardship should be part of her transition so that only the people who are truly trans would have the willpower to follow through it. I was really taken aback at her comments and was quite shocked. She really thinks I'm doing my sister a disservice (in the long run) by making her transition easier for her.
She believes far too many people transition who don't need to, precisely because they're enabled by close ones and the process of dealing with the hardship is a great test to see who really needs to transition and who doesn't. She believes this is why many trans people are depressed or suicidal. I tried talking to her about it but she said I'm too biased because of my sister.
This happened a few days ago and I'm totally reconsidering this relationship right now. Having a trans sister it will be awful if I brought this mentality to our family, as if our parents weren't bad enough. I fear that there might be hope, but I also fear that there might not be.
Should I end this over this?
tl;dr: Sister [17 MtF] is transitioning and me and other sister are helping out financially whenever we can. Girlfriend believes this is enabling our sister because financial hardship should be part of transitioning to ensure that only those who truly need transitioning will transition. And that we're doing a disservice to our sister by making it easy for her. Should I end things over this?
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