My [27 M] girlfriend [24 F] of almost 4 years (September 2014) disappeared under my nose. We've always been close friends, she's actually been my best friend for a very long time now. We've had some issues in the relationship from time to time but nothing major as far as I was aware. Yesterday however, she completely moved out: her clothes, furniture and her cat. She, her mom and her sister did this while I was sleeping in the morning and somehow managed to do it very quietly. She left a few items behind and the house key. I'm not sure if she went back home (she moved here several years ago from 2 hours away), or stayed locally since she likes her current job and it pays well.
This comes as a big surprise to me because I didn't feel that anything was wrong. She'd come home stressed from a day's work but I'd always ask about her day, offer her a massage on really bad days, etc. I work from home so I'm always here when she got home. We went out to dinner the day before (saturday) and everything seemed as normal, we came back home and played some games as usual, laughed and enjoyed each others company; nothing seemed out of the ordinary. She's the type to bottle things up that are bothering her though and we did have a conflict 2 years ago where she was planning on moving out due to not being happy. But I was able to see subtle clues and we talked about it. This time though, I'd ask if everything was okay with her and she'd say everything normal. She did a better job at hiding this time and that really hurts. We both don't really have any other friends so we really only had each other, which is why this is so painful on me. I wish she'd have been honest and talked to me before this instead of just disappearing. At this point I value the friendship of my best friend over our relationship.
I've felt all kinds of emotions and the way she chose to end things really hurts. I've always been good to her, not physically or mentally abusive or anything like that; I've always shown her genuine love. The only problem I can even come to close to thinking of is that she makes more money than me and probably got tired of being the one that footed more of the finances. Which if this was a problem, she could have sat down and had a heart to heart with me about it. I know I should have noticed myself but I'm not thinking rationally now. She's had some bad relationships, but ours was never anything like those, so I just don't understand it.
I don't want to lose my best friend, but she hasn't really given me any options. She blocked me on Facebook Messenger, blocked my number and has un-followed me on basically everything, even games that don't let you communicate. I don't know what to do now, if there is even anything I can do to let her know that I'd like to just sit down and have a talk about all of this. I know I can force her to do that, but I'd like to think she at least loves or cares about me somewhat and cherishes our friendship as much as I do.
I've tried to contact her a few times, she only sent me a message saying that she was unhappy and that I only care about improving myself and not improving us and that she wasn't getting enough out of the relationship. But if that's true, why didn't she mention any of this sooner when we could have fixed it? I'm a very open and understanding person so I'd have listened, I don't see why is she throwing away her best friend too. I know that she genuinely loved and cared about me, but now I'm not so sure. I don't see how that can just change and she just faked everything. Maybe she'll regret it after a few days, but I honestly doubt it... I did send her one final message telling her that I don't want to lose my best friend and asked if we could meet up somewhere and talk like adults sometime, but I haven't heard anything back. She seems like she is going to remain firm for now, which is unfortunate. I just don't understand how someone can do that to someone you've spent so much time with, especially with how close we were. I felt like she genuinely enjoyed the time we spent together laughing and enjoying our shared hobbies.
I'll probably never understand why she came to that conclusion for her choice for ending it, she's always been pretty mature other than this. But I suppose if it makes her happier in the end, it's a shame that she didn't want to work it out though.
The other cat we had (my cat), has been roaming the house yowling for the other one. He really misses her and doesn't like the change, it breaks my heart to see that and it actually caused me to break down. That's when everything really hit me like a ton of bricks. But it does get a bit worse...
Her leaving has put me in a bad financial spot because I can't afford rent and bills on my own now so I'm going to have to find additional work. It's a really crappy situation overall and I really feel like I didn't deserve this without a notice.
If she truly doesn't want to be together or even be friends anymore, how can I get over this? She has been my best friend for several years and the only person I've shared things with and confided in so it's very tough. I'm an introvert so meeting people is difficult, but if I really must adjust to this change I don't know how to get my head back on straight. I could use some advice on moving past this part of my life, as painful as it is.
TL;DR: Girlfriend of nearly 4 years gathered all her stuff and moved out, despite nothing seemly wrong; we even had dinner the day before. We've been best friends throughout the entirety of the relationship and we were each other's only friends. I don't understand how she could do this and not feel bad about it at all... How do I cope with this loss?
Thanks.
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