Throwaway because my husband knows my reddit username.
I have been with my husband for 10 years (married for 2 out of those 10 years), we have a great relationship, and we are extremely open with each other. I can't think of any secrets I keep from him, honestly.
I am a lawyer, but wills/estates are not my specialty and I really know nothing about wills except for what I learned back when I studied for the bar exam. So, when my husband's parents asked that I help them re-draft their will, I declined and sent them a referral for a lawyer that specializes in that area. They seemed extremely disappointed that I wouldn't help them draft a new will, but eventually worked with the lawyer I referred instead.
After it had been fully drafted, notarized, etc., they asked me to "take a look at it just to be sure it looks fine." I reiterated that this wasn't my specialty and that I would review the will but that I was NOT their lawyer (so, no issues with attorney/client privilege here) so I couldn't really give them advice on it.
To back up a little, my husband and I are aware that his parents are well-off. Even though their careers were not especially high-paying, they made a couple great real estate investments many years ago (which they sold a few years back) and are living off their pensions, which seems to be more than enough for them. The value of real estate in my city has absolutely sky rocketed in recent years. We figured that we may get an inheritance from his parents, maybe a couple hundred thousand to my husband and a couple hundred thousand to his brother- which in our minds, is a huge/life changing amount of money.
Well, we were wrong. When I reviewed the will I discovered that my in-laws are much more wealthy than we ever realized. They have already put away the money for their sons "inheritance"....and it is a lot. As in, we could choose not to work, buy a nice house, live a great lifestyle, and we would still be able to leave quite a bit to our future children.
I kind of panicked when I saw the number and asked my in-laws if this was for real. They gleefully told me that it was, and that they were happy to have told someone finally. My husband and I have been trying to scrape together enough money to buy a house and pay off some of my law school debt. My in-laws expressed how happy they were that now we could "move forward" with buying a house without worrying about paying my school debt, etc. In fact, they said that they hope we now buy a much more expensive, move-in ready home.
But...there's a catch. They asked me not to tell my husband or his brother about the inheritance. Both my husband and his brother have jobs that are unfulfilling, they are underpaid, and both had a bit of a hard time landing these jobs. My in laws are afraid that if they learn about the inheritance now, my husband and his brother will quit their jobs. My in-laws believe it is important for their sons to "build character" in these tough jobs, and to work hard for as many years as they can.
But....I am entirely uncomfortable with having this knowledge about the inheritance and not sharing it with my husband. We don't keep secrets, he knows I reviewed the will, and when his parents eventually pass away, he will have known that I sat on this information without telling him. His parents are in good health, so I expect this to be a multi-year secret I'd have to keep.
My in-laws are great, but they made it clear that they thought this was a secret I would keep for them, and I fear disrupting our good relationship by telling my husband. At the same time, I can't imagine not telling my husband and I can't imagine how hurt I would be if I found out my husband withheld this kind of information if our roles were reversed. How do I navigate this moving forward?
tl;dr my in laws are secretly leaving a large inheritance to their children, and have asked me not to tell my husband or his brother. I feel uncomfortable and would like to tell my husband but do not want to ruin my relationship with my in laws.
EDIT: just to clarify, the amount set aside for the inheritance is not all of their money- they have more than enough not included in this amount to address any unexpected expense that will come in their lifetime (healthcare, end-of-life care, house burns down, etc.).
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