My wife and I have been married almost 4 years. 3 months ago we had one 2nd child. A couple days after giving birth while still in the hospital I got a call from my Mother in Law telling me something was wrong with my 3 year old son. She was belligerent and I couldn't understand what happened. I told her to call 911 and ran out of the hospital to drive to her house. When I got there I found out my son had a febrial seizure. She told me he woke up with a fever and she put him back to bed. He woke up again later crying and she gave him an herbal remedy to make him feel better. It was probably too late for anything at that point as he had a seizure a few minutes after. She does not believe in tylenol, and claims she couldn't find the one provided that was in a bag we left with her. Thank God he is ok now, but I have not been happy how the situation was handled.
My MIL is against vaccinations antibiotics and most standard western medicine. I find it quite hypocritical considering she raised my wife and BIL giving them tylenol, antibiotics and they are vaccinated. I have had at least one talk with her prior to this that my kids take tylenol when they have a fever. She is a very nice lady, but quite naive and has been lured into paying a lot of money for herbal remedies from a naturopathic doctor for illnesses that seem to be fabricated. This is not a knock against alternative medicine, but more giving a back story on my MIL's lifestyle. She has never had a real full time job, and is quite spoiled by my hardworking Father in Law.
I lost all trust for my Mother in Law taking care of my kids after this. I sent her an email a month ago telling her that if she wants to start watching her grand kids again, I would like her to take a first Aid/CPR course to be better prepared to handle emergency situations. My wife and I are both trained through work and I do not know if or when my mother in law has ever taken a course.
My wife approved of my request, but when I finally got a response from MIL it was her arguing me. I didnt respond as there was nothing to argue about in my mind. My wife has brought up a couple times how hurt my MIL is. I'm sure she does feel bad about the situation and maybe tylenol would not have prevented it. I am upset I wasn't informed my son was sick. He was neglected for a couple hours before she gave him an unapproved medicine. She didnt call 911 as soon as it happened. And did not take him to the ER, an ambulance had to come get him.
I told my wife a couple days ago that I found it quite irresponsible my MIL was ignoring my request to obtain first Aid/CPR training. My wife defended her mother by saying she had more life experience and was more responsible than I was. I told her that was not true and immediately got slapped in the face. I got up and began packing a bag telling her how uncool it was to hit me and not to ever do that again. There were some curse words and i was irate, but I left for the night and went to my parents.
She did not say anything to me for 24 hours when last night at 2:30am I couldn't sleep from my anger about the situation and she was up with the baby. I told her it was ridiculous that after 24 hours I didnt even get an apology for being hit. This escalated into her telling me I am disrespectful of her mother and acting like a dictator for making demands of her and holding our kids hostage from seeing her.
I understand my wife defending her mother, but find it ridiculous that she has no remorse for lashing out in violence. I left this morning telling her I am a very rational and calculated person and I need more than a coerced apology to start mending our relationship.
I love my wife dearly and she is a great mother to our children, but the defense of her mother has gone too far. I am not sure what to do. I hate the idea of our family breaking up. We both have been under a lot of stress from a new baby, work, selling a house and looking for another to buy. This is still no excuse for her actions.
TL:DR Wanted Mother in Law to take a first Aid/CPR class after emergency situation with son she was involved in. MIL has ignored request. Wife and I got into an argument over it and she slapped me. Half hearted apology after 24 hours not talking and me calling her out. No remorse for lashing out physically. Not sure what I should do
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