Hi. This is awkward. I've been friends with Jillian (not her real name) for 4 years. I would say we're good friends, not best friends, but good. We hang out a couple times a month. We met during a hard time in our lives and somewhat supported each other through it. I'm a single mom so I don't really have a whole lot of time to spend with anyone outside of my kid and boyfriend but she's one I make time to see every now and again.
I've been overthinking a lot lately and have come to the realization that I may have invited myself to her destination wedding. I can't recall how it came up that I was going. I remember drinking wine one night and watching a Nicholas Sparks movie while talking about her wedding. I want to say that she asked if I was going but of course that would be convenient. However, I feel like maybe I had assumed that I was invited which may have been ridiculous on my part obviously and I may have said something about going so she may have been being nice to not hurt my feelings. She really is the sweetest person.
I guess I'm confused because she didn't send me an invitation but we had talked about me going? Honestly I'm probably one of her only friends in the city we live in so her invitations went all over the country so maybe she didn't feel the need because we've already talked about it face to face. She has included me in on a Facebook group conversation about planning for an Airbnb, travel, rental cars info, etc. I have actually already paid her for my portion of the Airbnb, so there's that. We've talked about all this stuff many times.
I'm really bad at reading situations. I just have this nagging feeling that she is too nice to break my heart. Honestly, it wouldn't hurt my feelings. Actually it is bothering me now that I'm thinking I may be a burden on her on her special day. I would basically be going to a destination wedding where I don't really know anyone. She let me know she had a cousin/friend who could be a travel buddy of sorts and include me in on her family things. I'm fine with meeting new people and would get along just fine. I just don't want her to feel like she needs to focus any amount of her attention on me or make sure I'm ok on her special day/couple of days.
I know I should just talk to her but I don't even know how to bring this up when I've already paid for the Airbnb. And it's also just really awkward for both of us I think. Please help!
TL;DR: I think I invited myself to my friend's destination wedding. She included me on travel plans, and I've already paid her for my share of an Airbnb. I have a nagging feeling she was just being nice. How do I talk to her about this?
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