So I am in my 2nd (going into 3rd) year of university in the UK. I do well in my studies and also maintain a part time job that I enjoy, overall I have my act together despite having diagnosed and medically treated depression. I live in a nice off campus house with three other people, my boyfriend who I will call P, my friend M and then my boyfriends friend who I will call D. We have all lived together for just about one academic year now, with it overall being good, however housemate D is incredibly disrespectful of the house and me.
A bit of background on housemate D. D is obese, studies at the same university (different course) and has no part time job, as such you can almost garuntee he will be parked on the sofa when you get back from work or uni. He has very bad personal hygiene, as such the sofa he regularly inhabits actually has retained his body odor. This in itself is gross but would be fairly easy to overlook as its really just his problem, but sadly his lack of interest in hygiene spreads into all other areas of the house. He has takeaways or microwave meals everyday, meaning we constantly have mountains of empty pizza boxes or 2 litre coke bottles littering the communal areas. He doesn’t clean the bathroom up after himself, leaving nuggets of toilet roll and poop on the bathroom floor, or pubes and hair constantly clogging the shower drain. He regularly has his messy friend stay over (more than two days a week usually), with her also leaving her mess and not contributing to the house. These are just a few examples but they paint a good picture of what the rest of his bad habits are like. D is also a friend of my boyfriend as they study the same course, however, he is not really a good friend to him and in my opinion uses his good nature as a free meal ticket to act like an ass.
Now I have been fairly forceful and proactive in getting people to regularly muck together to do housework in the shared area’s. We allow people to pick a job and a time its best for them, its overall done fairly and in good time. Myself, my boyfriend and my friend M, all clean up after ourselves pretty much as soon as a mess is made, meaning what we end up cleaning is mostly housemate D’s leftover mess. He will only half do any job he is given in the house but up until now, he did it without complaint.
Yesterday I finally passed an exam I have been studying hard for, leaving me in a good mood for the next lot of revision. I was going to have a nice hot shower, a hot meal and then spend the rest of the night looking over class notes. As I was going for my shower I got the joy of seeing soap scum and thick wads of hair blocking the shower drain from where D had recently showered. With this not really being my job, I called downstairs to D asking if he could clean it up, he ignored me and instead my boyfriend volunteered to help me clean it out. Fine. I had My shower and met my boyfriend in the kitchen as he made me dinner to congratulate me, on my way out of the kitchen, I had to move D’s binbags in order to safely get my food upstairs, Once I did this he slammed them back where they were. At this point I snapped, being royally done of his entitled lazy attitude, I basically shouted at him to tidy his Sht up because its disgusting to leave the house that way. His reply was to progressively get louder while saying shut-up, until he shouted ‘shut up you stupid fu*ing bitch’. My boyfriend interrupted (though didn’t tell him off) and told everyone to go to their rooms.
My boyfriend joined me in my room and essentially I ended up having a serious panic attack from stress and frustration (I have a heart condition so it was especially exhausting). My boyfriend is not confrontational but agreed this wasn’t on and that he was not happy about D’s behaviour to me and in the house. Today he is planning to put up set rules for the house and have a word about his language towards me. However, I am not really sure thats enough. In my mind D has never contributed, looked after or been respectful of our house. He does not listen to others and I have had to clean up after him in all shared area’s of the house for the full academic year. In my mind he does not get the right to talk to me that way as he is not my equal in how he contributes and treats the house. I have had no choice but to clean up his mess just so I can live in a hygienic house.
Our landlord os very nice but only rents to groups, meaning we may all have to move if he is booted out. This would not be a good option as houses for students are incredibly competitive and pricey in our area.
What would you recommend I do? What are your thoughts on how to tackle this and moving forward?
TL;DR One of my Housemates is lazy and unhygienic, he does not clean up after himself, leaving me to do it. Last night he blew up at me for asking him to tidy up his rubbish and I am now unsure and uncomfortable on what I should do.
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